


The Detective and the Cleaner, a modern day fairytale

by murmeltearding, reallifewaitressmia



Series: Gotham weirdness [1]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: A Helping Hand, Aftermath of Violence, Alcohol, Apologies, Ass Slapping, Attempt at Humor, Awkwardness, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Baking, Banter, Bickering, Blood, Breaking and Entering, Bubble Bath, Car Trouble, Caretaking, Chaos, Character Death, Cheating, Crack Crossover, Crime Fighting, Crime Scenes, Crying, Danger, Daydreaming, Drinking, Drinking to Forget, Drunkenness, F/M, Face Punching, Falling In Love, Fate, Fate is an asshole, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Food, Getting Back Together, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Imprisonment, Kissing, Mild Language, Minor Injuries, Mugging, Mutual Attraction, No Smut, Pining, Popsicle, Possibly Unrequited Love, Recreational Drug Use, Relationship Problems, Sassy, Season 5 Spoiler, Slow Build, Slow Burn, So Much Awkwardness, Sunburn, Teasing, The Slowest of Slowburns, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Weird dreams, Work In Progress, Worry, Wrongful Imprisonment, Years Later, a dark knight, awful awful jokes, fluff in a bathtub, puking, raining, zero plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-01-20 19:29:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 62,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18531640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/reallifewaitressmia/pseuds/reallifewaitressmia
Summary: Alex Brooks, a big mouthed crime scene cleaner, has always been friends with Harvey Bullock. Ever since she's first met his new Partner Jim Gordon, she's been pining for him. Everyone but him seems to know. Will things ever change?





	1. First Contact

“You know, you could really try not making such a mess when fighting crime.” Alex murmured, stepping into her rubber boots. She was already wearing her sheer white coveralls, arms knotted around her waist, almost set and ready to start doing her job.   
It was early afternoon and they were standing at the mouth of a dirty alley. The sky was overcast, as it usually was in Gotham, and it would probably start raining soon. The bad weather forced the forensics’ techs to hurry, but would make Alex’s job that much easier.   
Harvey was sitting on the edge of an ambulance car, getting a nasty cut on his forehead stitched up.   
Jim stood next to him, unhurt, if one didn’t count the splatters of blood on his face from shooting and killing the bad guys. Alex, having seen Jim looking much worse and much grislier scenes in general was inclined not to do so.

“I’ll try my best next time.” Jim murmured, wiping his face on the rag Alex had handed him.

The bodies were already packed up and ready to be carried off and forensics was about done taking their pictures of the scene. All that was left to do for Alex and Phil, her partner, was to clean up the mess everyone had left and make the alley look nice and normal again, as if nothing had ever happened. Give the general populace the illusion of safety and normalcy; that was what Alex liked to tell people she did. It sounded so much better than saying she cleaned up blood, shit and gore.

She had called Phil about an hour ago, but, like every time, he took his time showing up. Alex couldn’t blame him. Usually she’d arrive much later as well. Only when Jim Gordon was on the scene, Alex always happened to just be in the area, accidentally and showed up early enough for a quick chat with the detectives.

“You, me, beer, later!” Harvey ordered, getting up from the ambulance, pointing his index finger between him and her, before thanking the pretty paramedic for her good work.

“Yea, I don’t think so… do you see that mess? I gotta clean all of that up!” Alex scolded.

“I’m sorry!” Jim apologized, half amused. “I had to save Harvey from being beat over the head… more than the once.”

“I know, but did you have to spread that guy’s brains all over the pavement? Brain matter is a bitch to clean up…”

“Better theirs than mine.” Harvey interjected earnestly.

Alex rolled her eyes. Noticing Jim holding on to the bloody rag awkwardly, she lifted a finger to indicate he should wait a second and got the first of many trash bags she’d use that night from her car, holding it open for him to discard of the cloth.   
“At least if it was yours, there wouldn’t be as much of it.” she teased. “Come to think of it…” she turned around to take in the scene once more, “I think actually might need a drink after that…”

Forensics was clearing out, packing their gear into their car.  
“Yes, you will! Jim and I’ll teach you some manners, while we’re at it.” Harvey agreed, slapping his partner on the back.

Jim seemed hesitant.

“Come on, man. What else will you do but sit at the office and fill out paperwork? You can do that another day…” Harvey pressed.

“Come oooon! It will be fun!” Alex chimed in. The prospect of spending a drunken evening with Jim made her all giddy. “Harvey is no fun! He just drinks and whines about all his booboos.”

“Careful, woman!” Harvey again pointed his finger at her.

“But it’s true!” she insisted. “And he’s got an actual injury today. He’ll be unbearable!” she pleadingly turned to Jim.

“She’s right though, you do whine an awful lot, old man,” Jim agreed, one of his rare smiles appearing on his face.

“Oh the devil with the both of you!” Harvey turned around and walking off. “I’ll be at our usual table at 8, join me or don’t, I don’t care!” he said over his shoulder.

Alex rolled her eyes. “First round’s on you!” she shouted after his rapidly retreating form.   


That left Alex and Jim on their own. And once again, as soon as it was just Jim and her, Alex was at a loss for words.

The sound of the forensics’ car door being slammed shut broke the awkward silence settling over the two of them. “We’re all done, Detective,” one of the guys shouted, taking a few steps towards the pair.

“Thank you!” Jim shouted back, then turned back to Alex. “Your turn.”

Alex sighed as she slowly shrugged off her jacket, put it into her car and unknotted the sleeves of her coveralls to pull them up over her shirt. She hated how misshapen her work clothes made her look and always made extra sure to wear a nice form fitting shirt whenever she knew she’d meet Jim. Even the nicest shirt was no match for his perfectly fitting suit and ties of course, but she did the best she could.

“See you later then!” she grinned, slowly zipping up her coveralls and binding her long dark hair up in a tight bun.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Yea, I’ll see what I can do.”

+++

Two excruciating hours later, Alex and Phil were finally done with the scene. All of the brain matter had been painfully scooped up and packed into a set of plastic bags for incineration, all of the blood washed away with a pressure washer. The alley had probably never been this clean before. A light drizzle had started half an hour into their work. It had done nothing to help them clean but a lot to piss her off. Only the thought of seeing Jim again later helped her get through the afternoon.

Phil had showed up way after she’d started, high as usual, and she left him to deal with disposing of the trash. His fault for not being there earlier.   
She had better things to do. It was half past 6 and she had to go home and clean up before going to O’Malley’s to meet her two favorite Detectives.

On a normal day, she didn’t bother much in the way of makeup or hairstyling, not when she was only meeting Harvey. Today though, Jim would be there and she wanted to look her best. Silly, since he was more into the model type of woman, obviously, the tall and skinny ones with perfect skin and hair. That didn’t keep her from trying though.   
She was tall for a woman, but not skinny by far. Cleaning up crime scenes was hard work and she had the muscles to prove it. Some fat too, most of it in the right places, some of it not. Still, she cleaned up nicely and knew it.

+++

Alex made it to O’Malley’s around half past 8, her hair in a high, bouncy ponytail, wearing a dress that nicely showed off her muscular legs. A short jacket kept her warm enough in the cold Gotham night.

Harvey was already sitting at their usual table, a half drunken beer before him, a bluecoat still in uniform, in the booth next to him. Jim was nowhere to be seen. Bummer.

Sighing, Alex walked through the crowded room. Cigarette smoke and laughter filled the warm, damp air. “Hey there.” she slowly sat down on the empty chair, nodding at the barman. She was here often enough for him to know what she wanted and he brought her a beer without having to be told.

“Now don’t look all put out. Jim got held up at the office, he’ll be around soon.” Harvey chuckled. He was always teasing her about her obvious crush on his partner. Obvious to everyone but Jim, it seemed.

“You still pining for Gordon?” the bluecoat joined in. “The Cleaner and the Detective. A modern day fairy tale,” he joked.

“I’m not pining…” Alex corrected. “I’m just making sure he knows I’m available.”

“Well, if you ever get over him, I’m available too.” the Cop winked and got up, taking his drink with him.

“Me too, you know…” Harvey piped in.

Alex snorted. “You’re old enough to be my grandfather.”

“Begging your pardon?!” Harvey’s eyebrows rose till they almost vanished under the brim of his hat.

“Alright… old enough to be my father. That better?” Alex cocked her head and shot him a grin.

“Somewhat.” Harvey agreed.

“We’ll find you a woman tonight, don’t worry.” Alex murmured, looking around the room. “What about that one over there?” she pointed at one of the Hookers that always hung out at O’Malley’s, despite most of the customers being Cops.

“Candy? Nah… I’ve had her… She ain’t worth the money.” Harvey waved her off. “I like ‘em a little less addicted to crack and a bit more having their original teeth, ya know?”

Alex chuckled. “Good to know. I’ll make sure to take that into consideration.”

“Appreciated.” Harvey tipped his grimy fedora at her. He sat with his back to the wall, facing the entrance as usual.   
It was a Cop thing, he had explained. Alex didn’t mind. No one would try to sneak up on her with Harvey sitting across from her in a room full of Cops. One really couldn’t get much safer than at O’Malley’s in Gotham City.

Something seemed to catch Harvey’s gaze and she turned around to see what it was. A slow smile spread on her face, as she saw Jim approach.

He had changed into a fresh suit jacket but wore the same shirt as before, Alex detected by the sight of the tiny blood splatters on the white fabric and for a moment felt very much her crush’s equal, detective-wise.   
Jim slid into the booth and the bartender quickly brought him a beer as well.

“All done with work?” Alex asked.

Jim nodded.

“Did my part as well, I hope?” Harvey chimed in.

Jim nodded again. “You know how the guys at the archives hate it when I let you do your own reports. You make it look like a toddler did them.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at Harvey. “So by ‘he’s been held up’ you meant Jim had to do your work? Nice! Classy! Second round’s on you too, I hope you know that.”

“Isn’t it always?” Harvey groaned. “Somehow you manage to make me put up the full tab each time.”

“Yea, because you make way more money than me. It seems only fair. I mean… I clean up after you lot all day long after all.”   


Harvey was on his third beer, Alex as well, while Jim was still nursing his first one.   
Many of the others started clearing out slowly.   
“I’ll get going.” Jim downed the last of his beer and got up.

“Already?” Alex protested. “I thought I could get you drunk for once.” Alcohol making her bold, she took hold of his arm.

“Nah… another time.” Jim said smiling, carefully taking her hand away from his arm.

“Too bad.” Alex pouted.

“You want me to take you home?” Jim asked.

“Umm…” Alex blinked at him a few times.

“This is Gotham… the streets ain’t save by night, especially not for a drunk woman.” Jim continued when she didn’t reply.

Harvey gave her an encouraging nod. “He’s right! Go with him. See ya soon, probably.” He made a shooing gesture with his hands.

Alex slowly slid out of the booth and got up, glad she’d taken the time to clean up after work.   
“Huh…” she made, upon realizing she was more drunk than she’d initially thought, grabbing hold of the table to steady herself. Good thing she wasn’t one for wearing high heels, ever, or she’d have broken both her ankles.

“C’mon, my car’s parked right outside.” Jim murmured, holding out his arm so she could steady herself.

A few heads turned as they passed on their way out but no one said anything. They didn’t dare tease as long as Jim was close. They’d save that up for when they got her alone.   
Right that moment, Alex didn’t care though. She gladly held on to Jim and let him escort her outside.   


His car was some old sturdy black thing, Alex thought she’d heard him say it was a Dodge once, but it might also be not. She didn’t give a shit about cars. They all looked the same to her.

Jim unlocked the vehicle and opened the passenger door for her, helping her in without hitting her head. A habit he’d obviously picked up from maneuvering captives into his car.   
He had taken her home a few times before and knew the way to her place. Alex closed her eyes and let the low hum of the engine lull her into a comfortable half daze. Some talk show played on the radio, but the gurgle of the engine almost swallowed the words.  


Traffic wasn’t as bad at this time of night and they made it to Alex’s apartment building in about 20 minutes. She opened her eyes as Jim parked the car and looked around in confusion.   
“Wow, that was quick.”

“Nah, it wasn’t… you were just sleeping.” Jim chuckled lowly.

“Was I? Sorry…”

“Don’t worry. Come on, let’s get you inside, it’s getting late. There’ll be scenes to clean up tomorrow.”

“I can make it alone.” Alex waved him off and unbuckled her seatbelt. “Thank you for taking me home, Jim.” If it was anyone else, she’d have bent over and given him a quick kiss on the cheek, but with Jim, she just couldn’t be so casually affectionate… or could she?   
No, she couldn’t. The thought alone made her blush.   
“Good night!” she said instead.

“See you soon.” Jim called after her as she got out of the car.

Yea, she hoped so too.

The streetlamp directly in front of her building had burned out weeks ago and no one had bothered replacing it. Mayor Cobblepot didn’t much care for her area of the city. He was more interested in making the good parts even better and kissing Gotham’s top 1%’s asses.   
Searching her bag for her keys, Alex stumbled towards her building in the half dark. The alcohol clouded her senses and she didn’t notice the guy running at her until it was too late.

Before she even knew what had happened, he’d grabbed her bag and ripped it out of her hands.   
“What the….” she exclaimed, turning to look after him.

Jim had of course seen what had happened. He was out of the car and running after the thief in a second, but damn, that guy was fast.

Alex tried to follow the two men but quickly ran out of breath and had to stop, feeling awfully exposed and vulnerable alone on the dark walkway.  
She heard Jim shout somewhere before her and hurried towards his voice “Jim?” she shouted, hugging herself, feeling like a lost kitten.

Fog was laying low above the pavement, dampening the cities sounds and lights. His voice might have come from anywhere.

“Are you alright?” Jim suddenly said, coming out of an alley. There was fresh blood on his shirt, but he had her bag in his hand.

“Are you?” she exclaimed, closing the short distance between them, stopping short of hugging him in relief.

“Yea…” breathing heavily he dragged his hand through his hair. “He got away, but I got your bag.”

“Thank you!” she whispered, extending a shaking arm to take it. Dead bodies and gore she could deal with, but live criminals were an entirely different matter.

Jim shrugged out of his trench coat and put it around her shoulders. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Alex pulled his coat around her shoulders but couldn’t quite enjoy being encased in his scent and warmth. She’d never been mugged before. What the actual fuck!

Jim put her arm around her shoulders and led her towards her building.   


Her hands were shaking so bad, she couldn’t get the key into the lock.

“Let me…” Jim took the keys and let them in.

The building was old and depraved, the elevator out of order, as it had been ever since Alex had moved in five years ago. None of that seemed to matter to Jim. He followed her up the stairs, half a step behind her, his hand reassuringly resting at the small of her back.  
When they reached her apartment, he unlocked all three locks on her door and pushed it open to let them inside.

Alex forgot to be embarrassed by the chaos inside and instead went straight to the sofa to sit down, hugging herself again. “Shit, I’m sorry… I’m not usually that easily fazed.” she murmured, trying to get a grip on herself. “Fuck, you’re all bloody.” Glancing at Jim, she grabbed a box of Kleenex from the couch table and handed it to him before changing her mind and pulling him into the bathroom.

“At least it’s my own blood this time.” Jim joked.

Alex looked at him for a second before bursting out laughing, the uneasiness momentarily forgotten.

“Give me that shirt, I can still get the blood out while it’s fresh,” she murmured, handing him a towel.

“I…” Jim tried protesting but she had already freed him of his jacket and was holding out her hand for his shirt. Jim awkwardly loosened his black tie and unbuttoned his cuffs, seeming more self-conscious than a man of his stature and position had any right to be.   
Shrugging off his shirt left him in a tight white undershirt. Considering how much clothing he usually wore, he might as well be topless. Hot damn!

Alex put his dress shirt to soak in the sink, in cold water, mind you, and walked them out of the bathroom again.   
Her flat was small, not to say tiny. Kitchen, living room, bedroom was all in one. The kitchen was settled into a small nook in the wall and her bed was hidden behind a curtain. There was no hiding the fact that the place was shit.   
It was chilly. No wonder, the heating, like so many other things in her crappy place only seemed to work when it felt like it. Today didn’t seem to be one of those days.

“I…” she started, but didn’t know how to finish the sentence. How was one supposed to act when they had their crush in their flat in the middle of the night, slightly drunk and practically undressed?   
She finally settled on “Do you want something to drink?”

“Yea, some coffee would be nice.” he murmured, awkwardly sitting down on her ratty old sofa again.

“Is instant okay? Machine’s broken…” she admitted, rubbing the back of her head.

Jim nodded.

“Are you… are you cold? Sorry, my place is shit…” she turned back towards him.

“Don’t worry, my place ain’t that much better…”

“And here I was, thinking big and mighty Detective Gordon lives in a penthouse in the nice part of town.”

Jim snorted. “Yeah… no.”

“But when you were with Ms Kean….”

“Don’t remind me of her…” he interrupted.

“Sorry.” Alex wanted to slap herself. Why did she have to start about his ex now? Stupid! Stupid!!!   
Making his coffee thankfully gave her a reason to turn away and occupy her hands with something to do. Pouring a cupful of hot water and stirring in a spoonful of instant powder, she walked back to the sofa and set the cup in front of him.   
Getting a glass and a bottle of cheap whiskey for herself, she sat down next to him, pulling up her legs, momentarily forgetting she was wearing a dress.   
“That was fucking scary out there… I mean… I’ve been living in Gotham for a few years now, but somehow I’ve never been mugged before…” She downed her whiskey in one big gulp and bent to refill the glass.   
“Shit, I’m sorry.” she murmured, hastily putting her feet on the floor and pulling her dress down to cover her thighs.

Jim, all the gentleman, didn’t comment on her slip and concentrated on his coffee instead, taking a careful sip of the steaming black liquid. “Damn, this… this is really bad coffee… and that means something, coming from a Cop.”

“Sorry,” Alex snorted. “Can I interest you in some bad booze instead?” she held the bottle towards him.

“John’s Daphne, Tenderness Whiskey?” Jim read the label out loud, disbelief tainting his voice.

“It’s cheap and it gets me drunk.” Alex shrugged. “Actually, Harvey introduced me to it. I’d like to say it grows on you, but it really doesn’t. Each glass is equally or more disgusting than the last.”

“I’ll stay with this then.” Grimacing, he took another sip.

Alex downed another glass of whiskey, the liquid burning the back of her throat and warming her belly. Shaking with disgust, Alex took a deep breath. Her alcohol level rising again, made her bold enough for her next statement. “Hey Jim, umm… would you mind….umm could you… could you stay tonight?” she stammered, “I mean… I’d understand if you didn’t want to, but… that was scary earlier and… it’d make me sleep easier. You don’t have to of course I just… I thought I’d ask.”

“Sure.” Jim said without a moments’ hesitation.

It took Alex a second to process his answer. “Really? Thank you! You can have the bed of course… I mean… I… I should probably change the sheets before you…”

“I’ll sleep on the sofa, don’t worry.” Jim set down his coffee and shot her a tired though genuine smile.

“You’re the fucking best, you know that?” Putting her glass aside as well, she hugged him tight before she could remember to make the situation awkward again. “I’ll buy you breakfast tomorrow.”


	2. In Love. Impossible!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up between our two idiots. How could anyone be so oblivious?

Alex was woken by the sound of water. Someone had turned on her shower, making the pipes groan inside the walls. A human groaned as well and the water was turned off again.  
It took her a few seconds to remember Jim Gordon had stayed at her flat last night… and that her shower was a bit… tricky.   
Hurrying out of bed, almost stumbling over her blanket, she hurried into the bathroom and momentarily forgot all rational thought as she found Jim standing there in only his boxers. It took all of her willpower to hold back the small whimper of admiration that wanted to free itself from her throat.

“You…” she swallowed, working hard to find her voice, “you gotta let it run for a few minutes until it runs clear.”   
Bending over the tub, she turned the water back on to have something other to do than stare at the half naked man in front of her.   
Alex was wearing an oversized AC/DC T-shirt and nothing else, but unlike her, Jim didn’t seem bothered at all by her state of undress.

“Your place really is shit.” he confirmed her statement from last night.

“Told you so.”  
Concentrating was hard. As if the chemical warfare of alcohol and hormones inside her head wasn’t enough, Jim reached out to fix a strand of her hair, putting it behind her ear. His small touch sent a jolt of electricity through her whole body. Time seemed to slow down to a standstill, stretching between them like an eternity. Damnit, she wanted more of this. The thought of his hands on her body made her tingle all over.

A particularly loud groan of the waterpipes brought her back to reality. She couldn’t allow herself to indulge in thoughts like that. He was so far out of her league, they weren’t even playing the same game. He would never touch her the way she wanted him to.  
Violently clearing her throat, she broke the moment. “Towels are in there.” she pointed at the single cabinet in her bathroom.  
The water was still running brown, but the shade was getting lighter by the minute. “Should only take a minute more or so… Don’t wait for the water to get hot though… that’s not gonna happen.”   
She fled out of the room, slamming the door behind her.   
What had she been thinking? Asking Jim to stay the night, staring at him, letting him touch her,… what the fuck was wrong with her?

A quarter of an hour later, Jim emerged from her bathroom, dressed in his pants and undershirt from last night. His hair was still damp, as was his dress shirt, but he assured Alex he had a dry one in his car.

“Anything else I should know about your place?” he asked, putting on his Jacket.

“Ummm…” why did he want to know about her place? Did he plan to come here more often? “Just… you can never EVER open this window!” she pointed at the window over her desk.

“Do I want to know the reason?” Jim asked.

“There’s a colony of spiders living in the frame…”

“You really need to find yourself another place.”

“Yea? Thanks for the tip, oh mighty Detective.” Alex rolled her eyes at him.

Jim’s phone rang, saving them both from more awkwardness, and Alex walked into the bed”room” to give him some privacy.

+++

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on that breakfast you promised.” Jim shouted in her direction once he’d hung up.

“What’s happened?” she padded out of the bathroom again, wearing a pair of jeans and a black tank-top.

“What always happens… murder and mayhem.” Jim sighed.

“Let me know if you need anything cleaned up. I’m free all day long.” Alex shrugged, shooting him a tired smile.

“Will do.” Jim had his hand on the doorknob already when he turned back towards her once more. “If you need anything, like a shower under hot, clean water or something like that, let me know.” He walked out, not waiting for an answer.

Alex looked after him long after the door had fallen shut.  
Had he just offered her a shower at his place? Had… he been serious about it? Because she might well take him up on that, even though she wasn’t entirely sure why he’d care.

+++

Being a freelancer had its advantages. Alex had nowhere to be all day and more than enough time to overanalyze everything that had just happened. It was still early and her head was pounding.

Grabbing a bottle of water, she climbed back into bed.  
It didn’t matter that she was fully dressed. It was warm and soft and sleep quickly pulled her under.

Dreams of her hands on a hot, firm body, covered in whipped cream filled her head with the nicest of images, but just when things were about to get proper heated, with the whipped cream melting away to reveal certain… spots, the ringing of her phone rudely pulled her back into the waking world.

Finding the phone somewhere in her bed took her a second, as most of her blood wasn’t available to supply her brain at the moment. She cursed when she saw Harvey’s name on the display. Why did he have to call her now of all times?

“What?” she picked up, not bothering to hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Jim told me you were mugged last night. Are you alright?”

Despite his grumpiness and occasional flirting, Harvey had always felt protective towards her. He’d been buddies with her father and had kinda been like an uncle all her life. The kind of uncle that buys you booze when you’re a teenager and makes sure you get into your house without your parents noticing.   
Not even their lifelong friendship could keep her from being annoyed at his rude wake up call though.

“Why do you need to know this at this hour?” she mumbled, eyes falling closed again.

“At this hour? It’s 2 in the afternoon. What did you and Jim do all night?”

Alex groaned and rolled over in bed, checking her clock. Harvey wasn’t lying.   
“He saved me from the bad guy, I got drunk, he didn’t and then we went to sleep… separately.” Alex courtly summarized.

“Hmph…” Harvey made. “You just lost me 20 bucks.”

“Stop betting on my love life then.” Alex groaned, finally sitting up in bed. “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah… I got a job for you. Double suicide in an old apartment building down in Chinatown.”

“Nasty?”

“Nah… looks like they drank acid… It’s only gonna be nasty for the Doc…”

Harvey gave her the address and Alex promised to be there ASAP.

She hadn’t eaten anything since the greasy burger at the bar last night and all that was in her fridge, was a can of whipped cream. Alex wasn’t sure when she’d bought it, but that stuff couldn’t probably go bad, could it?  
Popping off the cap, she filled her mouth… and dry heaved.   
Obviously whipped cream COULD go bad. Who’d have guessed?

Spitting and rinsing her mouth with the last of the John’s Daphne, Tenderness Whiskey, she put the can back into the fridge and hurried off, grumpy and hungry and unshowered.

+++

Theirs was a competitive business and she had to get to Chinatown quickly. Apartment buildings were good work. Well paid in themselves and with the little side business of selling and pawning stuff they happened to “find” while cleaning, Alex and Phil and most other crime scene cleaners had going, it would pay twofold.   
It was first come first serve though.   
When Harvey worked a scene, he usually shooed the competition away, but since Harvey and Jim were on homicide and this scene was a suicide, they wouldn’t be there to keep her spot.

The scene wasn’t as grizzly as it could be but it stank to heaven. The Forensic Techs that were still there told her the bodies had been lying there for about a week, rotting, their insides liquidized by the acid they’d drank.

A neighbor had called the Cops because of the smell.

She’d have to thank Harvey later for mentioning it, by punching him in the face.  
Alex added a face mask to her usual getup. It didn’t do much for the smell, but the thought of breathing in a weeks’ worth of bodily evaporations made her nauseous.

“Stage is yours,” one of the Techs said, snapping the last of their suitcases shut just as Phil walked in.

“Thanks.” Alex shouted after the Tech and riveted onto Phil, looking at an imaginary watch on her wrist. “That was quick! I’m impressed.” she grinned.

Phil grinned back and got dressed up.

They were a well-attuned team and quickly got to work.

+++

Four hours later they were done. The flat was as clean as a Chinatown flat ever got and ready for the landlord to rent out anew… as soon as the smell dissipated.   
Most of the items inside had been trash and would be picked up by the victims’ family in a few days, but between the two of them Alex and Phil had found quite a few nice trinkets. A watch or two, some jewelry, an ancient looking dagger,… Phil had almost peed himself when he’d found the toaster oven in the kitchen, claiming he’d wanted to buy one just like that for years.   
Since the lock had been broken and this was Chinatown, no one would wonder about some of the stuff going missing. And no one would ever dare to question the guys that cleaned up the gooey mass left behind by two week-old dead bodies. The scheme was perfect.

+++

A few days later, Alex was on her way to the GCPD. She had spent the last night doing paperwork, writing up all the gigs they’d been doing over the last month and adding up numbers so they’d get paid.   
Paperwork was her part of their business, since it tended to get messy when Phil did it.   
Captain Barnes refused to sign any invoices that had food stains on them. Alex couldn’t exactly blame him.   
The fact that Phil tended to rip off pieces of the papers to use it to roll joints only established the way they divided their labor.

Alex hated having to talk to Captain Barnes and hassling over every single item on her statement.  
Only the fact that Jim would probably be there when she got to the Precinct made the thought of going somewhat bearable.   
They hadn’t talked since their hurried morning conversation the other day and Alex firmly intended to remind him she still owed him breakfast. She could have called of course, but where would the fun in that be?

“Brooks! Is it that time of the month again?” a middle aged, uniformed Cop greeted her when she entered.

She frowned at him. “What?”

“You know, hormones raging, telling you you have to see Gordon…”

“Is that… is that supposed to be an insult or…?” she looked at him in confusion, making a face, “Help me out here, Miller!”

“I… awh… forget it… It’s no fun if I have to explain it.” he waved her off and walked away.

“Make better jokes then!” she called after him.

Alright, that had been weird. Usually they were more creative with their teasing.   
She made her way through the busy office, eyes open for either Harvey or Jim.   
Captain Barnes had his suspicions about Alex’s side business and didn’t bother hiding them. The fact that he lacked hard evidence and couldn’t pin anything to her or Phil didn’t hinder him from being a total asshole towards her.

Squinting through the half closed blinds on his office door, Alex found the Captain bent over his desk.

“Your boyfriend’s in the back, questioning a suspect,” a passing Officer said.

Alex rolled her eyes. What was their fucking deal? Jim was hot, even Harvey had admitted as much when he’d had a few beers too much, the other day.   
“If I was wired differently…” Alex practically heard him say the words in her head. She chuckled at the thought and made herself comfortable in his chair.  
There was no shame in being a scaredy-cat. She wasn’t a Cop. She didn’t have to be brave. She’d wait till Harvey and Jim were done with their interrogation and ask one of them to go see the Captain with her.

She’d only just started doing the crossword puzzle in the newspaper she’d found on Harvey’s desk when someone bent over her.   
“3 down’s Mississippi.” Jim pointed.

“Will you…” she put her hand over the grid, trying to cover it, “don’t tell me!”

“Sorry, that one was obvious.” he lifted his hands in a defensive gesture. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to bring my monthly invoice to the Captain but he…“ she lowered her voice to a barely audible level “…he’s scary.”

“Sorry what? It sounded like you were scared of the Captain.” Jim leaned against Harvey’s desk, crossing his arms, looking down at her. He couldn’t entirely hide his amusement.

“He’s weird… and he hates me,” Alex tried justifying herself.

“You want money from him, budget’s tight. Of course he hates you.”

“Feels like more than just penny-pinching. Can you go in with me?”

Jim snorted. “Sure. C’mon.”

+++

20 Minutes later, Alex had got the Captain to sign her invoice and agree to have it processed. She’d get her check within 5 to 7 business days, as usual. She’d share it with Phil 60:40, as usual. Fuck taxes.

Jim had silently loomed in the corner and walked out about 10 minutes into the meeting, but Alex was still glad he had been with her.

Harvey was sitting at his desk when she got back out of the Captain’s office. “Did you do my crossword?” he looked at Alex accusingly.

“Umm… what if I did?” she smiled at him awkwardly.

“That means you owe me a drink.” Harvey pointed his finger at her.

“I’ll get paid in 5 to 7 business days. I’ll buy you all the drinks you want then.” Alex promised and meant it.   
Slowly she made her way to Jim’s desk. “Hey Jim?”

“Hm?” he looked up at her, putting the stack of papers he’d been studying to the side.

“Thanks for going in there with me… I know it’s silly…” she said, voice low, eyes cast to the floor. Nervously hugging herself, she sat down at the corner of his desk.

“Don’t mention it.” Jim murmured, getting up from his chair, rubbing her shoulder with his hand.

Looking up at him, she noticed how very close they were. His scent filled her nostrils, the warmth radiating from his body seemed to embrace her and momentarily made her forget everything around them. She got up from his desk, making the distance between them even smaller, and reached out to straighten a crease in his collar, absentmindedly letting her fingers glide down over the lapels of his jacket. She didn’t notice how quiet the room had gotten, or how everyone was craning their necks to get a good look at them.

Jim did. The nervous clearing of his throat pulled her back into real life.

Alex’s back was to the rest of the room but now that she was out of her daze, she didn’t need to turn around to know what was happening. Her face went hot with the feeling of about 30 pairs of eyes on her.   
Shit.   
Her hands were still on Jim’s lapels. She had overstepped a boundary touching him like that. Fuck.  
Not daring to look him in the eyes, she let go of him and stepped back, out of his personal space. Why had she just done this? And here of all places?

Jim looked down at her, his face carefully neutral. He had helped her and she had embarrassed him in front of his coworkers. He’d hate her for this.  
She had to get out of here. Taking another step backwards, she started towards the exit, her eyes firmly on the ground.

She didn’t realize what was happening when Jim took a step after her, getting very close again. “See you later.” he murmured… and slapped her ass.

What?   
What had just happened?

Of their own accord, her legs started moving. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts. Was she dreaming? Had Jim just…. she turned back to look at him once more. He looked after her, seeming as confused as she felt.

Her feet carried her outside and didn’t stop there. She powerwalked halfway towards her flat before she remembered she had parked her car in front of the GCPD.   
She could never go back there. It was gone. It was an old car anyways. It had served her well, and now it was gone. GONE!

The ringing of her phone stopped her spiraling thoughts.  
Harvey’s name was on the display.

“What do you want?” she whined into the phone, slowing down her stride.

Laughter filled the line. Not just Harvey’s.

“Are you seriously calling me on speaker?” Alex hissed.

“What was that you two idiots were doing just now?” Harvey finally brought out, barely able to form the words around his bouts of laughter.

“Put me off speaker or I’m gonna hang up right now.”

She heard a click and then Harvey’s voice again. He was still wheezing.

“Stop laughing!” Alex whined. She blinked a few times to stop herself from tearing up. “I don’t know what’s happening!”

“You made Jim loose his cool.” Harvey cackled. “We’ve been partners for years and I’ve never seen him like that.”

“Stop laughing, will you?”   
Jim was usually so stoic, always perfectly composed. His gesture of… affection really wasn’t like him at all. “Is he still there?”

“Nah… He ran off just a minute after you left…”

“Do you think he’s mad?”

“He’s too in love to be mad.” Harvey murmured, finally getting a grip on himself and bringing his voice to a normal level.

“In love? With whom?” If he was in love with another woman… why had he slapped her butt? Things got more and more confusing.

Laughter filled the line again. “She’s asking me who he’s in love with!” Harvey called out to the others.

Alex could hear more than one voice laughing.

“With you, dumdum.” he finally stated the obvious.

Alex stopped so abruptly, a woman who’d been walking behind her bumped into her back. Jim Gordon in love with her. That was impossible. Harvey couldn’t be serious.  
Apologizing to the woman, Alex slowly started walking again, absentmindedly rubbing her ass, where Jim had slapped her. She needed a drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably very out of character for Jim... but I had such fun writing it, I hope you'll like it too!


	3. First Groping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets violently drunk.  
> Jim, white knight that he is, saves her once more and they share a fluffy night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has zero plot, it's just the fluffy aftermath of their awkward moment from Chapter 2 and we get to see into Jim's head a bit as there's a few switches to his POV

There weren’t many things Alex considered herself to be really good at. Getting violently drunk real quick was one of them though.   
It was evening, a few hours after her awkward encounter with Jim.   
She had stopped counting shots at about the same time as the barkeeper had stopped bringing them by the glass but instead had put the bottle in front of her and snarkily told her to serve herself.   
Her sense of balance was slowly being affected by the alcohol and she clung to the bartop with one hand, while the other remained wrapped around the neck of her bottle.   
She had forgotten why she was drinking, but if her current level of intoxication was any indication, it must have been pretty bad.

A dark, handsome stranger approaching made her look up. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in here all alone?”

A lazy smile appeared on her face. If she’d been sober, she’d probably have laughed at him for the cheesy pickup line, but drunk as she was, she didn’t care.

“Two more of whatever the lady’s having!” the stranger ordered.

The barkeeper shot them an annoyed look and brought another bottle of cheap tequila and an empty shot glass. It wasn’t particularly busy night, it being a weeknight and all, but he seemed to deem it below him to serve a complete and utter drunkard and her suitor.

“I like a girl that can hold her liquor.” the stranger stated.

Alex laughed. “Yea? Seen any of those around?”

“And funny too…” he poured them a shot each and lifted his glass for a toast. “To new acquaintances.”

Alex downed her glass in one shot, glad she didn’t have to drink alone anymore. The fact that he was standing half behind her, close enough so she could lean against him and wasn’t in danger of falling off her chair any longer only made him more sympathetic.

+++

Alex was too far gone to notice Jim Gordon enter Oswald’s. Jim was still on duty and therefore entirely sober and on high alert. He was on his way to question Oswald Cobblepot about a case he was working.   
Being the Mayor and running a Nightclub of ill repute obviously wasn’t mutually exclusive in Gotham, at least it wasn’t if one asked Oswald.

***  
Jim’s POV

How Oswald managed to keep the club in business with this few customers was beyond Jim, but he wasn’t here because of that.   
Looking over the patrons as he walked towards the bar, Jim’s eye caught a familiar shape. He did a double take to make sure he had seen right.   
Yes, it was her. Alex, the woman of his dreams, or nightmares, depending on what day it was. She was very obviously drunk and talking to some stranger. He had his hands all over her and she seemed to enjoy it.

It was none of his business. She wasn’t his anything. She could drink and hang out with whoever she wanted. Pointedly looking to the other side, half to give her privacy and half because he couldn’t stand to see her like that, he told the Barkeeper who he was and to get his Boss.

Jim was led into Oswald’s office, which had a great view over the whole club and on the bar especially. Immediately, his gaze was drawn back to Alex and her guy-friend, drinking, flirting, touching each other.

He wanted to punch the guy in the face.

“Detective, Jim,” Oswald murmured after Jim asked him to repeat his statement for the 3rd time. “I feel like you’re somewhat preoccupied. Might I suggest we do this another time? When your head is in the game, so to speak?” he chuckled his friendly-fake Mayor-chuckle.

Jim jerked his gaze from Alex and forced himself to look at Oswald again.   
“Sure, let’s meet at your office tomorrow. I’ll come by after lunch. Make sure to be there.”   
Not waiting for the other man’s answer, he got up and moved out of the office, glad he could go take those strangers’ hands off of his woman.

***  
Alex’s POV

“What do you think you’re doing here, you idiot?” a familiar voice emerged out of the general hubbub of noise.

Alex jerked around, holding on to the bar with one hand and her new friends’ upper arm with the other to keep herself from falling off her chair.

“That’s no way to talk to a fucking lady, you asshole!” her drinking partner said. He had told her his name at one point, but everything inside her head was blurry and she had forgotten it as soon as he’d said it.

“Shut up.” the other, the pretty man said.

Alex slowly turned around fully and looked at him. She knew his name. “Jim!” she exclaimed, stretching her arms towards him. “How are you?”  
The shift in position made her slip off her chair and she tumbled right into his arms.   
“Huh…“ she made and gripped his sleeves to keep upright.

“You know the guy?” her drinking buddy asked.

Alex turned around and nodded. “That’s Jim. Jim, that’s… what’s your name again?”

“Tim.” he said. He didn’t bother hiding his annoyance.

“Tim?” Alex chuckled. “Really? That’s funny! You’re Tim, that’s Jim… too bad I’m not Kim. What a trio we’d make.” She laughed, not realizing she was the only one amused by her joke.

“Yea, whatever, bitch…” Tim walked off.

“How much did you drink?” Jim said, changing his grip so he had her around the waist, with her arm over his shoulder. He threw a 20 on the bar and started herding her towards the exit.

The barkeeper shouted after them, demanding Jim pick up the full tab. “Tell your Boss to bring me the bill tomorrow.” Jim shouted back.

“Where are we going? The Alcohol’s back there!” Alex whined, trying to worm out of his grip.

“You’ve had more than enough.”

“You’re probably right.” Alex hiccupped with bile rising in her mouth. “Where are we going then?”

“To my car. I’m gonna take you home.”

“That’s so nice of you.” Alex stumbled over her own feet and Jim tightened his grip on her to keep her upright.

The fresh air outside hit her like a brick. Jim had to slow down considerably so she could keep up with him.  
“Why are you taking me home?” she slurred.

“You’re too drunk to be outside on your own.”

“Then go drink with me! Let’s go to O’Malley’s! Harvey and Jim will probably be there!” Alex started pulling in the opposite direction of where they were going.

“Jim… won’t be there.” Jim sighed.

“Oh… right!” Alex chuckled. “If we go there, he will be though!” she had to stop, tumbling over in laughter at her own flawless logic.

Jim took a deep breath but managed to remain calm. He held her upright and made sure she didn’t puke on her shoes as she bent over and heaved.

Handing her a tissue once she’d finished throwing up, he pointed her towards the car. “In. Now.” he ordered.

Opening the passenger door for her, he helped her get inside, as he always did, hoping very much she wouldn’t puke in his car. The smell was a bitch to get out.

“Are we going to O’Malley’s?” Alex said, looking at him tiredly, her feet still firmly on the ground, ready to up and bolt at any second.

“Yes, whatever will get you to get in the car.”

“I… ‘d be worried you might be lying to me if you weren’t a Cop. You’re… Cops can’t lie, right? I mean, like… by law or something.”

“No, we can’t.” Jim agreed, exasperation filling his voice. At this point, he’d have agreed to anything if it just got her to shut up.

***  
Jims POV

The ride was a silent one. As usual, Alex dozed off almost as soon as Jim started the engine. He wondered what it was about his car that served as such a sleep agent to her, but didn’t question it, as long as she was safe and didn’t puke again.

“Can we get ice cream?” she murmured from the passenger seat without opening her eyes.

“Where would we get ice cream at this hour?”

“I dunno… a fast food place or something? I need to pee too.”

“We’ll be home soon. We’ll get ice cream when you’re sober enough to remember it.”

“But…”

“Shhhh… sleep.”

She sighed deeply and shut up again.

“Come on, I’ll get you upstairs and in bed.” he said once they were parked in front of her building. He stood at the passenger side door, holding out his hand so he could pull her out of the car.

“You’re so nice.” she whispered, slowly getting up. She stumbled over the curb and ended up tumbling into his arms for the second time that night.

“Hmmm… so warm and nice.” she whispered, burying her face against him, not even acknowledging her stumbling.

Jim sighed. Locking up the car, he herded her towards her building.

The streetlight was still burnt out. He’d have to talk to Oswald about that too tomorrow. Gotham was dangerous enough as it was. It didn’t need dark streets on top of everything else. Especially not here.

Getting Alex up the stairs was a feat of pure acrobatics on his part. How she made it up the four flights on her own when she went out drinking, was beyond him.  
After the struggle up the stairs, getting her in bed was comparatively easy. He’d have put her in in her clothes, but she had started to undress as soon as her bed had come into view. He turned away to give her a modicum of privacy as she slipped her sleep shirt over her head. He couldn’t take advantage of her drunken state. That simply wasn’t who he was.

“I’ll get going.” he said when she finally was all tucked in.

“Thank you, Jim.” she murmured, holding on to his hand for a second longer before letting go.   
They had only turned on a small desk lamp to illuminate the dark flat and he made it towards the entry door through the general chaos in almost without stumbling over anything. He’d decided to leave the light on so she wouldn’t be confused if she woke up by night.  
He had his hand on the doorknob already, when he heard her stir.

“Fuck.” she hissed, tossing the comforter on her bed to the side and running towards the bathroom on bare feet.

With a sigh, he pulled the door closed again and went to look after her. He found her on her knees, bent over the toilet, heaving and puking heavily.

Jim knelt down next to her, pulling her hair out of the way, softly patting her back with one hand and making soothing noises.

Alex didn’t even seem to notice he was there.   
Once she was done, she turned half away from the toilet and practically melted into the floor. One moment she was kneeling, the next moment she was laying down on her bath mat, making a pillow with her hands.

“What are you doing?” Jim whispered, awkwardly getting to his feet.

“Sleeping.” she mumbled, her voice muffled by the rug.

“You can’t sleep on the floor.”

“Watch me.” She pulled her legs up and curled up like a cat, not giving a shit about his objections.

Jim sighed. He couldn’t look at her like that. Shaking his head, he tried pulling her to her feet, but she seemed to have fallen asleep for real this time.   
He would have liked to take her back to bed but she was heavier than she looked, so the sofa would have to do. Dropping her on the cushions as carefully as he could, he sat down with her. He couldn’t leave her alone. She could die if she puked in her sleep.

Alex seemed to think the same. Wordlessly, she snaked towards him, eyes closed, probably working on pure instinct. She tossed and stirred until she was resting against his chest, head awkwardly resting half on his shoulder, half on his arm, legs pulled up against herself.   
“Blanket.” she murmured, pointing to her right, where a purple blanket lay, messily folded, but folded nonetheless.

He reached for it and draped it over the two of them before wrapping both his arms around her and trying to find a place for his head to rest.   
Finally settling on sliding down on the sofa and putting his feet on the couch table, he let his head rest against the back and closed his eyes. He’d have a tense neck and back in the morning, but she was comfortable and safe and that was really all that counted.

***  
Alex’s POV

Alex woke in a pool of her own drool. Her cushion felt… odd. Opening her eyes revealed why.   
She was sleeping on Jim. Sleeping on Jim. What? How had that happened?   
He was out like a light under her, his head bent backwards at an awkward angle, snoring softly.   
Alex didn’t dare move for fear of waking him. Despite his awkward position, he looked peaceful… or at least she told herself that. It was hard to tell from her position and with a sledgehammer pounding inside her head.   
Her mouth was dry as the desert. She needed water, but that would mean getting away from Jim and probably waking him up. Laying here with him was nice, despite her dry mouth and headache. His arm was on top of the backrest and she pulled it over her so she could imagine he was embracing her.

Jim stirred at the movement, lifting his head and looking around.

“Good morning.” Alex whispered when she felt him tense under her.

“Morning.” He pulled one arm away to rub his face and neck, but left the other one on top of her, absentmindedly caressing her hip.

She wanted to snuggle against him some more, but she really needed some water.  
Slowly getting up, making sure the blanket remained on him, she went to the kitchen, got a small bottle from the fridge and downed it in one long, greedy swig.

Jim sleepily pulled the blanket up to cover himself.

For a moment she debated if she should invite him into her bed or simply crawl back under the blanket with him.   
He’d probably say no to the bed, so she just rejoined him on the sofa.

He willingly lifted his arms to let her snuggle up to him again, not opening his eyes.

Sighing contently, she made herself comfortable against him, relishing in the warmth still caught under the blanket, and closed her eyes.

She smiled when she felt him wrap his arms around her, squeezing her against him tighter.   
She couldn’t remember what had happened last night, but if it had led to this, she’d accept whatever it was and be thankful for it.

***  
Jims POV again

This was bad, so very bad. He couldn’t allow himself to fall for this train wreck of a woman. She was practically the female version of Harvey, a very warm, soft, nice smelling version, mind you, but still. Things would never work out with her. They couldn’t.  
The rational side of him knew this.   
The irrational side had no such qualms. It was screaming for him to remain exactly where he was, to enjoy how soft and warm her body was against his, to pull her even closer and protect her with all he had.   
Seeing her with that other guy last night had done something to him.   
He hadn’t exactly felt jealous, but a sense of possession and protectiveness and the strong wish she’d be more careful who she chose to hang out with had overcome him when he’d seen her in the strangers’ arms.  
He wanted her, he just didn’t want to want her. Being with him would inevitably bring her in danger. It had happened before and it would happen again.   
She was so soft and careless and a little naïve and he didn’t want to take that away from her.   
He was painfully aware of her small movements in his arms, her curves against his body, her breath against his skin. His hand was on her back, slowly moving downwards. He wanted to stop himself, but didn’t.  
If Alex noticed his movements, she didn’t show. Her breathing was even again. She was probably sleeping.  
Touching her while she was asleep felt wrong, even though he knew she probably wouldn’t mind. A soft sound from her lips that could almost be described as a mewl and some gentle stirring from her, crawling closer, made him bold. Her hands were on his chest, so it was only fair he touched her as well, right?  
Ever since he’d slapped her yesterday – he wanted to groan at the thought of that – he had been thinking about her ass. Firm with just the right amount of squish to it.

“Are you feeling me up?” Alex whispered, amusement tinting her voice.

Shit. How long had she been awake? He tensed, stopping his hand from moving.  
He felt her chuckle against his body more than he heard her.

“Don’t worry, you prude. It’s okay. I like it.” she wiggled a bit in his embrace, giving him a better angle to touch her, worming one hand around his back and let her fingers glide into the opening at the small of his back, where his shirt had slipped out of his pants.  
Her shift pressed her whole body against his.

“Don’t you wanna put your hands under the blanket? I bet it’s supercold out there.” Alex’s breath against his exposed neck made goosebumps break out on his skin.

Jim cleared his throat. She wasn’t wearing any pants. Both were very aware of that fact. She wanted this. So did he. The thought of her bare skin under his fingertips sent shivers of anticipation through him.

Her fingers remained where they were. She seemed content just feeling his skin. Well, so could he.   
Slipping his hand under the blanket, he put it exactly where it had been before, just without the barrier of fleece between them.

“Much better, right?” she whispered, wriggling against his hand.

Damn, her skin was soft. Her body against his felt perfect. He let his hands glide upwards under her shirt. He needed to feel more of her.  
The sound of the front door being unlocked made both of them look up.

“Umm…” Alex made.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Jim asked, slowly pulling his hands away from her, getting ready for battle on pure instinct.

She shook her head.

Jim reached for his gun which he had put on the coffee table next to the sofa. He slowly freed himself from her embrace and walked towards the door as the three locks were unlocked one after another.

The door opened with a final click and a familiar face looked in. Phil.

“Whoa…” Phil lifted his arms as he found the muzzle of Jim’s gun in his face. He seemed understandably confused to see Jim, here of all places.

“What the fuck?” Alex wrapped the blanket around her and tiredly rubbed her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I was in the area, partying… I didn’t want to go all the way home, I’m too…” he looked between her and Jim and dropped his voice to a whisper, “high to go home.” Yea, as if whispering while standing next to Jim would somehow make the Cop not hear him.

Jim slowly put his gun away, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t let me disturb you, I’ll just… take the bed and leave you to whatever it was you were doing.” he gave them a thumbs up and rushed past them, vanishing behind the curtain that hid Alex’s bed.

“Does he… do that a lot?” Jim asked.

Alex nodded. “Not as much as he used to but in general, yea.”

***

Alex’s POV

She wanted to kill Phil. She knew how to get rid of the traces, so no problem there. Of all the days in the year, why did he have to come here today?

Jim brushed his hand through his hair in a gesture of exhaustion, letting out a tired exhale. “Well, I gotta get going anyways.”

Alex got up and walked towards him, leaving the blanket on the sofa.

Jim looked tired, his clothes, usually neatly ironed were wrinkled after sleeping in them, his tie loosened, the topmost buttons of his shirt open. She liked that look on him, now if only his eyes would lose the sadness that was caught in them, all would be well.

“I can’t remember a lot of what happened last night, but I guess you were probably looking out for me while I was being superdrunk?” she made it more of a question than a statement. “Thank you for… whatever it was you did.”

“Don’t mention it,” he waved her off and awkwardly pulled her into his arms, their shared intimacy from a minute ago all but forgotten.

She wanted to ask him when they’d meet again but didn’t want to pressure him. Instead, she just went up on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, really.” She let her fingers glide through his hair tenderly and he squeezed her tight once more before he turned around and left.

Phil made no sound anymore. He was probably asleep, which was just as well. She wanted to sleep some more too. She could always kill him later.


	4. Civic Courage punished

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tries to be a good citizen. Karma doesn't seem to be on her side though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I deleted a couple of chapters and will be rewriting them, since they were mostly shit...  
> But this story has like 5 hits so noone will probably notice anyways...

Phil and Alex had first met when Phil had been searching for a roommate. Alex had just moved into Gotham and despite his place being disgusting, even more disgusting than her current flat if that was even possible, she had moved in with him.  
The fact that Alex had been staying on Harvey’s sofa at that time and wanted to get her own place as soon as possible might also have affected her decision.

The two friends had been sleeping for a few hours.  
Alex still felt like shit when she woke up. Hangovers seemed to take longer and longer to go away the older she got. She’d have to ask Harvey if he could recommend a cure. He’d probably just tell her to never stop drinking though.  
“You owe me.” Alex murmured when Phil stirred next to her.

“For what?” he mumbled, voice raspy with sleep.

“For cockblocking me!” she punched him in the arm.

“Oww… I’ll make it up to you if you stop punching me.” he mumbled, pulling up the covers and turning around so his back faced her.

“Yea, you better.” Alex slowly sat up in bed and yawned.  
Last night was all blurry. The morning with Jim not as much. She hugged herself, reveling in the memories of his arms around her. If she concentrated, she could still smell him on her…

Phil farting brought her back to the present.  
“Sometimes you make it unnecessarily hard to be your friend.” she murmured, getting out of bed.

Phil chuckled under the covers.

“Want some coffee?” she shouted, halfway to the kitchen.

“Got any sugar and milk?” The covers rustled as he moved to take up all of her bed.

“Sugar, yes, but no milk.”

“Make mine with so much sugar then, I want my teeth to rot at first sip.”

Alex chuckled. Yea, that was Phil for you: skinny as a beanstalk and about as tall and heavily addicted to all things sugary.

The sun was shining through the grimy windows and Alex sat on top of her desk with her cup to soak up some much needed light.  
Sunny days were a rarity in Gotham and she would take everything she could get.

“Sooo… you and Gordon, huh?” Phil said. He got up from the bed and wrapped the blanket around his back like a cape. “I mean… I heard people talk about some weird encounter at the precinct last night. It sounded too awkward though, even measuring by your standards.”

Alex paled. She’d thought she had successfully drunken away her memories but thanks to Phil it all came back to her now.

“So it IS true?” Phil’s eyes widened. “You slapped his ass in front of everyone and then ran off?”

Alex slowly turned her head and stared at him, her eyebrows almost vanishing behind her hairline. “Are people seriously telling that?”

Phil nodded, taking a slow sip of coffee.

“Who told you this bullshit?”

“Just some rando they had in lockup yesterday. He got off with a warning, but not without seeing that little soap opera you staged.”

“Well… first of all: that’s absolutely NOT what happened… and second of all: why does everyone in this town seem to know everyone else?” She wrapped her arms around her knees and hid her face. This couldn’t be happening.

“Does it even matter what happened though? I mean… he was here this morning so you probably had some fun last night, eh?” Phil elbowed her playfully. “Come on! Tell uncle Philly.”

“I can’t even remember what happened… Everything is kinda… fuzzy.”

“I can ask him if you want… or ask someone to ask him, you know how it is…” he put his arm around her shoulder in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring way.

“Don’t you dare!” she shrugged off his arm and got up.

+++

Alex’s relationship with Jim was of an entirely different nature. Where it was all easy and comfortable with Phil, things were awkward and weird with Jim. It was three days later with not a single call or message from him. Her mood became more and more gloomy by the hour. Why didn’t he call? Had she misinterpreted his signs once again? Impossible!  
The way he acted around her… He wouldn’t act like that if he didn’t like her too, would he?

She had been craving a beer and fries with O’Malley’s special sauce all day and had gone there on a whim; to drink and eat, mind you, not in hopes of meeting Jim. That would be stupid and childish. And he wasn’t there anyways.  
Alex didn’t stay for very long either. The few Cops that were there, still took great joy from teasing her about “the slappening” as they had dubbed it. Alex couldn’t wait for them to get bored of her and move on to someone else, even though she had to admit “the slappening” was quite a good pun.

Slowly walking through the night on her way home she did her best to distract herself from thoughts of Jim for a while, struggling and failing to let more pleasant things fill her head.  
There simply was nothing that could measure up to that feeling. She sighed.  
Jim was so far out of her league, it was bordering on ridiculous. Dreaming about him would only ever remain just that: a dream.  
It would be easier to find an average guy and settle down with him for an average life. Or even better, stay alone, enjoy her days, find a stranger to fuck every other night. No more pining. Maybe she could get a dog or something… That would be the sensible thing to do.

Sensible, yes, but why did the sensible choice make her heart ache?

+++

Gotham subway was notoriously dangerous at the best of times. It probably wasn’t the best of ideas to ride it alone in the middle of the night, but she had done it before and survived. And she had no cash left for a cab.  
The train was rolling into the station just when she stepped onto the platform. She didn’t know it yet, but that would be the last positive thing to happen to her that day.

The train was almost empty and the doors had only just closed, when an altercation with between the only other people inside the wagon made her look up.

Damn.

A young guy, probably about 20, dark haired, slim, short was crowded against the door, encircled by a Couple of punks, a woman and a man, who couldn’t be much older than him. Alex groaned.  
Gotham wasn’t a good place for civil courage. Helping that guy would quite possibly get her in more trouble than it was worth.  
Not helping him was not an option though.

“Hey!” Alex called, getting up and moving through the swaying train, holding on to the grimy handles left and right. “Leave the guy alone!”

The female punk turned towards Alex for only a second before focusing on her victim again. “Fuck off, bitch!”

“I said leave him alone!” Alex repeated, taking another few steps towards the bullies. “What do you even want from him?”

The lights flickered off and back on a few times, as they tended to do in these old trains. Later, Alex would remember this moment as the moment things started turning sideways.

“None of your fucking business, bitch!” the female punk spat, taking a step towards Alex. She was unarmed, as far as Alex could tell, but the woman didn’t need a weapon to be scary. She was tall for a woman, taller than Alex, slim hips, slim shoulders, but her face and chest were definitely female. If she’d get some more food and a few less drugs, she might even be considered pretty.  
The male punk slowly turned towards them as well. He was shorter than his girlfriend, but his bright green Mohawk more than made up for it. His front tooth was missing, but that didn’t stop him from shooting Alex a toothy grin. Not a friendly grin though. Adrenaline drowned her brain as she saw the knife in his hand. FUCK!

Alex wasn’t a weakling by any means, but she was unarmed and those two seemed like natural born fighters. And with the amount of studs they wore, hitting them wasn’t even really an option.  
“Come on, leave us be. No one needs to know about this!” she tried, somehow managing to not sound scared.

“No one needs to know about this? What are you? A fucking cop?” the female laughed.

“Nah… just a girl like you, trying to get home after a long day,” Alex tried defusing the situation.

“You shouldn’t have fucked with us then.”

“Yea, that’s probably right…” Alex admitted, slowly backing down. She struggled to keep her balance as the train went over a particularly bad part of tracks.  
Damnit, how long until the next stop? She needed to get out of here.

Their former victim made no move to repay Alex’s intervention. He remained standing where he was and watched them with wide eyes. That’s what she got for trying to be a good citizen.  
Alex slowly moved backwards until she ran out of space and her back pushed against the very back of the wagon. And still the train made no move to slow down. How long until that next fucking stop?

“Give us your money then, if you wanna be a fucking hero.”

“I’d honestly love to, but … I don’t have any.” It was true. That 20 she’d used the last of her cash to pay her tab at O’Malley’s. God, it felt like that had happened hours ago.

The female reached for her bag and with no space behind her, and no ambition of getting hurt, all Alex could do was lift up her hands in a defensive gesture and watch the woman stir through her bag.

With the confirmation that Alex did, in fact, really have no cash on her, everything really went to shit. There was nothing worthwhile to take from her. They didn’t seem to like that.

The guy punched her in the solar plexus. “This is for being a broke ass bitch.”

Alex doubled over in pain, momentarily unable to breathe. Fuck, that was unpleasant.

“And this…” the female grabbed her by the hair and pulled so Alex had to look at her, “is for trying to fuck with us.” She violently jerked her to the side and Alex would have tumbled over harmlessly, if it wasn’t for the grab pole in the way. With a clonk her head bumped against it and everything went black.

+++

Where was she? Her head pounded, breathing hurt. Thinking was hard.

Looking around, moving carefully, Alex realized she was still on the train, lying facedown on the dirty floor. Everything was dark, the wagon empty.  
She inwardly checked her body, wriggling her toes and fingers, taking a few deep breaths and found everything working, if painful. Pushing herself up to sitting with shaking fingers, she found the contents of her bag, minus wallet and phone littered all over the ground. Tissues, chapstick, a small nail file. Of course. It was moments like this when she hated Gotham. Fuck!  
She slowly collected her stuff, thankful for an easy task to focus on. The key to her flat had slid under a seat and had a piece of gum sticking to it, when she pulled it out, but it was still there. Small victories!

Through the windows Alex saw more trains parked right and left of the one she was in. Was that what trains did when they were turned off for the night? Parking?  
Didn’t matter. She had to get out and go home. Fuck, her head hurt. Stars appeared at the edge of her vision whenever she moved too fast. Her mouth was incredibly dry.  
With shaking limbs she tried the door handles; to no avail. The doors didn’t open. That was just her luck. Ugh.  
Throwing herself against the doors using her full weight didn’t do anything but make her headache worse. The doors didn’t budge.  
“Fuuuuuck!” she whined. Vertigo forced her to let her head rest against the door for a moment.  
Her gaze fell on the window hammer.  
It was probably illegal to use it in her situation, but who fucking cared? She was in pain and tired and angry and needed to get out! And really, she was the victim here! Didn’t anyone check the trains for lost souls before they left them for the night?

15 Minutes later, she had made it out of the train and of the train garage or whatever it was called. She had cut her arm on the glass when climbing through the window, but she was free. Now if only she’d know where she was.

Pressing a tissue against the cut on her arm to stop the blood flow, she squinted at the nearest street sign and did a double take.  
She knew that street! Harvey lived just a few blocks from here. Praise the gods. Harvey would help her.  
Wiping away her tears, tears of relief and exhaustion and maybe a tiny bit of mental overload, she stumbled through the street towards Harvey’s building. Her heart raced like a hummingbird’s, her breath came fast, as if she was running, despite feeling like she barely moved.  
Fuck, she was dizzy… and nauseous.

The thought of Harvey not being home didn’t even cross her mind. She had no idea how late it was and with her phone gone, she had no way to tell.

She made it up the few steps to the front door.  
Seeing the familiar nameplate on the intercom, where someone (who was definitely not her) had vandalized H. Bullock to H. Bollock, filled her with so much relief, her knees threatened to give out under her.  
Leaning against the door for support, she pushed the button next to his name… and a few times more when he didn’t answer immediately.

The crackle of the intercom was oddly loud after the silence of her unintentional walk through the night.  
“Do you have any fucking idea how late it is?” Harvey’s voice bellowed.

Alex couldn’t speak immediately as relief washed over her.

“Who’s out there, waking up people in the middle of the night, fucking ass…” Harvey continued, his breath making the device crackle.

“Harvey…” Alex finally got her mouth to work. “Let me in, I’m hurt.”

“Alex?” Harvey’s voice took on an entirely different tone. “What… I’m coming down.” The door buzzed and Alex pushed it open, stumbling into the dark hallway.

“Alex!” she heard Harvey shout from upstairs. He lived on the second floor. She hated to admit it, but she wasn’t sure if she could make it up the stairs. Her legs were shaking and didn’t feel strong enough to carry her.

She made it halfway up the first flight before she had to stop, holding on to the banister.  
Harvey’s steps were quickly coming closer.

“Alex! Sweet Jesus, what happened to you?” He was in an ancient pair of boxers and a stained white undershirt. His cheek was wrinkled from the pillow. She would have teased him about it if she’d had the energy.  
For once, she remained silent though.

Harvey carefully reached around her waist and pulled her arm over his shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you inside.” His voice sounded calm but she knew him well enough to notice the tiny undertone of worry.

“Who did this to you, Chou?” He sat her down on his sofa and put a glass of water in front of her.

“Don’t you have anything stronger?” Alex whined but greedily downed the water anyways.

“Later… first tell me…”

“Did you just call me Chou? You didn’t call me that in years…” she interrupted.

“What about it? Seeing you like that makes my paternal instincts kick in… I’m gonna kill the lowlife who did this.” His hand involuntarily went to his hip, where his gun would sit if he were dressed. “You’re bleeding,” he stated when he noticed her cradled arm.

Alex nodded.

Harvey got up and came back with a first aid kit from the kitchen. He dug through it in search for something to patch her up with. Alex gingerly pulled the tissue away from her skin. Parts of it stuck to the cut and it started bleeding again, when she picked at them.

Harvey took hold of her arm and wiped it with a pledget drenched in disinfectant.

Alex winced. The cut didn’t look deep. Now that she looked at it in better light, it looked more like a scratch, but it stretched almost the full length of the soft inside of her underarm.  
“I think there might be glass stuck somewhere in there,” she whimpered.

Harvey took his glasses from the side table and put them on to inspect her injury more thoroughly. “None that I could see,” he murmured, poking and prodding at the cut.

“Could you maybe not… poke quite so much? Oww!” Alex hissed.  
“I’m a Cop, not a Nurse. You’re gonna have to take what you get,” he said, but his touches became softer and more gentle.

“Sorry,” Alex whispered.

Harvey stopped moving and looked her in the eyes. “Alex… what happened?”

“I’m not sure…” she admitted, “everything is kinda… what’s the word?” She felt like part of her night was missing.

“Fuzzy?” Harvey offered.

“Yea… I think someone hit me on the head… and my wallet’s gone.”

Harvey sighed. “This shithole of a town…” He finished cleaning her up and put a wound dressing on the cut. “I’ll call Jim first thing in the morning and we’ll hunt those fuckers down.”

“Don’t bother Jim with my bullshit,” Alex weakly protested.

“Why the hell wouldn’t I?” Harvey let go of her arm and put his glasses away. “He’s the best Cop in town.”

“Yea, but he hates me,” she sighed deeply, blinking back tears that started to form in the corners of her eyes. Saying it out loud made it feel much more real.

“Where would you get that ridiculous idea, woman?”

“He… He didn’t call me in three days… I think that’s sending a pretty clear message.”

Harvey rolled his eyes. “So he’s the reason you’ve been acting so down?” He shook his head at her in disbelief.

Alex nodded. She hated to admit how much Jim affected her daily life, but there was no denying it.

Harvey gave her a pillow and a blanket from so she could get comfortable on the sofa. “I’ll call Jim in the morning and the two of you are gonna have a long talk. Being your go-between is making me go gray.”

“I… I hate to break this to you, but…”

“You better think carefully about your next words.”

“Sorry. Thank you for patching me up.”


	5. Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a checkup from Dr. Thompkins, who seems to like Jim too.  
> Jim is finally getting his shit together though... and SPOILERALERT admits he has feelings for Alex as well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I hated this chapter in the beginning, now that I'm done writing it, I dare say its one of the best I've written so far!

Everything hurt. There were people talking. Hushed voices. Familiar voices. Alex slowly opened her eyes. She was in Harvey’s flat. Right!  
“Oww,” she winced, laboriously pushing herself up to sitting. “Owwww…” once more as she tried to turn towards the voices.

Quick steps hurried towards her.

“How are you?” Harvey asked, voice filled with worry. Tired bags under his eyes bore witness to the sleepless night he’d had.

“My head is killing me,” Alex whined. Her eyes were extremely sensitive and she hid her face behind her hands.

“Who did this to you?” Jim asked from somewhere to her right.

“I fell down some stairs,” she murmured refusing to look at him. Instead, she focused on her shoulder, carefully rotating and turning her arm in every direction, wincing some more every so often. Who’d have thought stupidly throwing oneself against a door would be so painful. It looked so easy in the movies.

She froze when she noticed Jim and Harvey stare down at her, both standing with their arms crossed. So this was what crooks had to face when they were out to get them? They should put their picture on the posters for the next GCPD campaign. No one would ever dare breaking the law again.

“Stop staring,” she murmured and awkwardly unwrapped herself from her blanket. It took her a few tries to get to her feet and vertigo hit her hard.

“What are you doing?” Harvey asked, reaching out to steady her.

“I think I’m gonna puke.” She pushed his helping hand away and almost fell over the couch table in her hurry to make it to the bathroom. Her stomach protested the sudden movement. “Shit.” Changing her mind and reaching for Harvey’s arm, she managed to stay upright, her lips firmly pressed together.

“Why didn’t you take her to the hospital?” Jim, who was watching them helplessly said.

“I didn’t think she was hurt that badly,” Harvey admitted.

Under different circumstances Alex would have protested being talked about as if she wasn’t in the room. Today, she decided to let it slide. She had bigger fish to fry; like making it to the bathroom before she started to puke.

Maybe Jim was right and she should have gone to the hospital. But then, money was tight and she didn’t have insurance. And even more importantly, she really, really hated hospitals.  
All things considered, the fact she’d survived so far was probably a good sign. Didn’t they say once you made it through the night you were all good and didn’t need to waste any money on doctors? Ever? Who were “they” anyways? Thoughts tumbled all through her head and refused to make any sense. Everything felt kinda fuzzy and confusing.

Jim and Harvey looked at her with worried faces when she came back out of the bathroom. Harvey had given her an old T-Shirt to sleep in since her clothes had been all disgusting from taking a nap on a subway floor and she was very aware of how she was standing in front of Jim, sans pants, once more.

“Your medicine cabinet is…” she frowned. What had she wanted to say? “...not very good.” Words kept evading her. “And your hemorrhoid cream is expired… don’t use that stuff any longer.”

“At least your mouth ain’t hurt, eh?” Harvey countered.

“Yea, that’s about the only thing though…” She still held on to the bathroom door and tried concentrating on making it the short way towards the sofa. She could make it, she was sure.

“Could you get serious for a moment?” Jim interrupted, not noticing her inner struggle. “Alex, you need to tell us what happened so we can go out and get those guys.”

She somehow made it to the sofa and sat down, sighing with relief. Damn, something was seriously messed up with her head. Staying upright wasn’t supposed to be that hard, right?  
She pulled her legs up under her and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders again.

Jim sat down to her left, looking at her intently. Harvey sat in his TV chair opposite the table.

“I don’t know what happened! I was on the subway and… there were those punks bullying a kid. I wanted to help him and… I…” She squeezed her eyes shut, rubbing her forehead. What had she been saying?

“Anything else you remember? How did they look, where did you get on the train…” Harvey asked.

“Why did you even use the subway in the middle of the night?” Jim interrupted.

Alex blinked at Harvey. “Why is he even here? I thought we agreed you wouldn’t call him!”

“I never agreed to that. I told you I’d call him.” Harvey leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs.

Jim cleared his throat. “Any reason for that?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I… I didn’t want to bother you.” Alex muttered, hiding her face behind her hands. Why was everything so bright?

Jim frowned at her. “Why the hell not?”

“I dunno… you didn’t call… I figured you didn’t want to see me,” she shrugged, glad she didn’t have to see his face.

“Well, you didn’t call either!” Jim turned her words right back at her.

Harvey got up from his chair. “I’m gonna leave the two of you to it. Please don’t get any… fluids on my stuff when you make up…” He took his keys and leather jacket and made for the door.

+++

“So you don’t hate me?” Alex asked before the silence in the apartment could become oppressing. She glanced at Jim for just a moment.

“Why in the world would I hate you?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because I embarrassed you in front of the whole precinct?” She talked slowly, carefully testing every word.

“YOU embarrassed ME? If I remember correctly I was the one who…. never mind.” He got up and brushed his hands through his hair.

“I… yea, why did you do that, by the way?” she asked, leaning back on the sofa, draping her arm over her eyes in what probably looked like a dramatic gesture, but was done out of pure self-preservation in her case.

“Hell if I know…”

Silence settled over them and Alex counted the beats of her heart as she felt them inside her head. …52, 53, 54,…

“How did you even end up at Harvey’s?” Jim asked, his curiosity trumping his embarrassment.

“I passed out and when I came to, I was at that… that building, what’s it called? Where they put the trains during the night… “

“The train depot you mean?” Jim said.

Alex nodded. “I couldn’t get the doors on the train to open, so I broke a window and… somehow got out… and walked here.”

“You know the doors on every subway have a security latch that opens them, right?”

Alex groaned. The groan turned into a sigh and she felt tears form in the corners of her eyes. Damnit!  
She bent forward and buried her face in her hands. “Fuck, this headache is killing me.”

Jim moved next to her and she felt a hand on her back, rubbing gentle circles between her shoulder blades. “It’s alright.” Jim murmured. “You showed civic courage. You did good. I just… we’ll show you how to throw a proper punch, so next time you can defend yourself.”

His kind words made her cry even harder. Why though? She had come off relatively unscathed all things considered. Her phone being gone would be a hassle jobwise, getting new IDs would be annoying too and she’d have to cancel her credit cards, but they were maxed out anyways. Those assholes wouldn’t even be able to make any money off of her. Still, now that the floodgates were open she couldn’t stop the tears.  
She felt Jim shift next to her and willingly moved when he pulled her into his arms.

“We’ll get them,” he promised.

+++

Once she had calmed down somewhat, Jim took her to the precinct so Dr. Thompkins, resident M.E. could have a look at her. Although Alex refused to go to the hospital she couldn’t find any objections against getting a free checkup. The fact that said checkup would be done by a doctor who worked mostly with dead bodies didn’t pose a problem in her opinion.  
On top of that, Jim vowed for Dr. Thompkins. Ever since she’d started her job at the GCPD a few weeks ago, she had also started patching him and a lot of the other Cops at the precinct up on a semi regular basis.  
Harvey had mentioned the pretty new doctor a few times but nothing could have prepared Alex for the stunningly beautiful woman who received her. “I’m Dr. Thompkins,” she introduced herself, “call me Lee.”  
Alex slowly seized the proffered hand, still mentally occupied with taking in the perfectly symmetrical face and gorgeous body in front of her. Lee’s dark hair framed her face and her long dark lashes made her eyes look incredibly big. “Alex Brooks,” Alex slowly said. Way to go make a first impression, staring the good doctor up and down like some kind of madwoman.  
Lee’s perfectly shaped brows creased with worry when Jim told her what had happened to Alex. He left the room once Alex was safely situated on the examination table. She hated to admit it, but she still felt pretty dizzy and was glad Jim had been there to steady her. Both mentally and physically.

“Tell me again how this happened.” Dr. Thompkins said, prodding Alex’s stomach for internal injuries.

Alex told the story, or what she remembered of it, again, struggling to find the right words and put them into full sentences. The doctor listened intently, her face carefully neutral. She thoroughly rotated Alex’s bruised shoulder and put a fresh bandage on the cut on her arm, commending Harvey’s good work patching her up.

“I’ll make sure to tell him.” Alex mumbled sitting up on the examination table, her legs dangling a short distance over the tiled floor. She winced at the brightness of the small flashlight Lee used to check the reflexes of her eyes.

“I’m assuming you’re a hard case like all the others out there, so I’ll say this very slowly: You have a concussion. Stay in bed for at least three days. If you overexert yourself, this is going to take much longer to go away. We’re talking up to 6 months of headaches here instead of a week. Understood?”

Alex nodded. A few days in bed didn’t seem too bad. Maybe she could get Phil to join her and play nurse… “So… we’re done here?” Alex asked. Now that she thought of it, she really wanted to get home and crawl into bed and sleep for a week or so.

“Almost,” the doctor hesitated. “You’re the one they’re talking about in the slappening, right?”

“Yea,” Alex slowly said, a frown creasing her forehead. Where was the doctor going with that? “Is this part of the examination or are you going to laugh at me as well?”

“No, not at all,” Lee waved her off. “I just wanted to say, I understand. Jim is… he’s not aware of it, but he makes women go temporarily stupid sometimes. Don’t let them get you down.”

“Umm… thank you?” Alex said. What kind of advice was that? “Can I go now?”

“Yes. Call me if you notice any changes.”

Alex went outside without another word.

 

Harvey took her home. He refused to leave before she was safely tucked into bed and promised to come by again in the evening to check on her.

+++

She did as she was told and remained in bed all day, sleeping, thinking, smoking some weed Phil had brought by and sleeping some more.  
Lee’s words had made her think. When she’d talked about women going stupid over Jim… had she talked about herself as well? If Lee was into Jim, Alex might as well get him out of her head right now. She didn’t stand a chance against a woman like Lee, she had no illusions there.  
Dr. Thompkins was smart, pretty, well spoken, righteous and probably even law abiding. Alex was none of that.  
A knock on her door startled her out of her thoughts. It was probably Harvey. How late was it?  
Carefully padding through her flat on bare feet, she opened the door without checking who it was first.

Jim.

Fuck.

“We really have to stop meeting like that!” Alex self consciously looked down at herself. She was in her pajamas; an old tank top and booty shorts.

“I don’t mind,” Jim admitted, raising an appreciative eyebrow at her.

Alex blinked a few times and turned away as she felt a violent blush take over her face. Was he… flirting?  
Shooting him a shy glance, she grabbed her bathrobe from the sofa where she had thrown it earlier, and slowly put it on, leaving the belt unknotted. “What brings you to my humble abode?”

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.”

“Well enough. Lee said I got a concussion and need to sleep though, so you’re technically making me act against her orders.” Alex held up a playfully reprimanding finger. Now that she thought about it, she actually felt a lot better. The headache was almost gone, probably thanks to the combination of painkillers and sleep and thinking wasn’t quite as hard anymore. She was still quite dizzy though and felt as if the floor under her feet wasn’t quite even… even in the spots she could have sworn were usually level.

“I’m sorry. Do you want me to leave?” Jim said.

Alex chuckled. “Nah… sit.” she motioned to her ratty sofa.

“I brought some food too,” he said, taking off his jacket and sitting down. She joined him and eagerly inspected the takeout boxes he pulled out of his bag.  
She hadn’t yet eaten anything after her stomach’s violent protest this morning and only now noticed how hungry she was. It smelled delicious and her stomach gave a loud rumble. “My savior,” Alex chuckled.

There was so much food, they didn’t even manage to eat half of it.  
“So you won’t starve,” Jim shrugged.

“Very considerate,” Alex smiled at him. She enjoyed having him take care of her. Should she…? She decided if not now then when, and bent towards him to press a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” she whispered, her mouth hovering close to his skin. Damn, he smelled divine.

He pulled back out of her reach and turned towards her, looking… nervous? “I wanted to talk to you…”

Alex struggled to remain calm. Damn, she shouldn’t have kissed him. “… about?”

“You and I… us,” he slowly said.

“So there is an US?” Her heartbeat sped up.

“Of course there is!“ he awkwardly rubbed the back of his head.

Alex bid him his time, watching him earnestly. A million emotions seemed to go through his head. His face only betrayed a few of them, but his calm facade was slipping for once.  
He opened and closed his mouth a few times as if he wanted to say something but didn’t quite know where to start.

He finally settled on: “Being with me will bring you in danger.”

Not what Alex would have gone for, but whatever made him feel better. “As you can see, I can bring myself in danger all without your help,” she said, wiggling her patched up arm in front of his face.

He took a deep breath. “Forget about it.”

“No! I won’t forget about it!” She sat up straighter and reached for his hand. “We’ve been dancing on eggshells for months. Harvey’s going grey because of us!”

“Harvey was going grey way before I even met him.” Jim willingly let her change the subject.

“Yeah, I know.” Alex chuckled. “But still…” she quickly became serious again.

“I… “ he sighed, “I feel drawn to you, against my better judgement. But… things with Barbara ended badly…” He did the mouth opening and closing thing again, like a fish out of water. That was probably exactly how he felt, come to think of it. Jim wasn’t the kind of man who talked about his feelings a lot. The mere fact that he did so now, even though it seemed to be so hard, made her feel quite special.

“Jim…” She squeezed his hand, unable to watch him struggle any longer, “It’s okay. We can take things as slow as you want or…” it almost hurt to say the next words: “… or we can take them not at all, just stop sending me mixed signals, okay?” She didn’t know how she remained this calm. Maybe getting hit on the head had tightened some screws inside her brain? Or loosened them?

Jim took her hand in both of his, but didn’t look at her. “I definitely want to. I only want to be sure you know what you’re getting into.”

Alex laughed, “we’re on the same page on one thing then… I want to as well, but… I can’t make any promises about what you’re getting yourself into with me. Cuz most days, I don’t even know that myself.”


	6. Lineup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim do what they do best, their jobs.

Harvey and Jim were eager to get a description of the perps so they could go out and get them. Being friends with Cops had its definite upsides.  
They came to visit Alex early the next morning, bearing donuts and coffee and spreading everything out on the already crammed table.  
The pair were homicide Detectives by definition, but as long as anyone who dared hurt Alex was out there, homicide had to wait.  
Alex decided she was okay with that on account of the two not being the only homicide detectives in town. She did her best to describe the two punks and not leave anything out. She also tried to describe their first victim since he was the only other witness, but he had been so far away throughout the whole incident, there really wasn’t much she could tell them about him.  
They were more interested in finding the punks anyways.

“So we got their height and clothes, piercings and tattoos, hair color, hair style and… brand of shoes they wore.” Harvey raised his eyebrow at that last piece of information as he went over his notes once more. “Anything else that might be helpful?”

“Umm… they smelled really bad?” Alex said. She wasn’t sure if they could that information was of any use to them, but the smell had been so distinctive, she decided to let them decide what was important and what wasn’t. “

“They…. smelled really bad?” Harvey slowly repeated. “What am I supposed to do with that information, woman? Sniff them out?”

“I don’t know! I mean… it wasn’t the smell of unwashed human, but somehow chemical… unhealthy.” Alex defensively shrugged. “You’re the Cop, I’m just trying to make your job easier, jeez!”

Jim couldn’t entirely hide his smirk. “Thank you, Alex.” he said. “We’ll be able to work with that. We’ll get you for the lineup. Probably tomorrow. Don’t take on any other engagements.”

Alex snorted. “I probably won’t.” Despite the headaches being mostly gone, she still had bouts of dizziness and vertigo so strong she needed to hold on to something in order to stay upright; or even better: climb back into bed.

“Lee also wants to see you again, to check how you’re doing,” Jim added.

A pang of jealousy hit her at the thought of Jim talking with Lee. What if he just suddenly decided he liked the other woman more than he liked Alex? Found her prettier… and smarter…

She hadn’t noticed Harvey was saying something until he waved his hand in front of her eyes. “Earth to Alex… anyone in there?”

“Huh? Sorry… what were you saying?”

“I need your signature here and here. This is for your new phone and this is for your credit cards,” he said, handing her two sheets of paper.

“Wow, do you do this for all your witnesses?” Alex grinned, taking the papers from him.

“Only for those I’ve known since they were that tall.” He held his hand at about one foot from the floor.

“I don’t think I was ever that short, but I appreciate the sentiment. Thank you,” she smiled at him, quickly signing the papers without bothering to read them.

“Told you she wouldn’t read it,” Harvey said to Jim. “I should have gotten her to sign me over her riches as well.”

Alex snorted. “You want this dump? Feel free.” She made a sweeping gesture over her collected “riches”.

“Nah… keep it,” he waved her off and got to his feet. “We’ll come get you once we have anything.”

“I appreciate it.”

Harvey wandered towards the door, taking one last donut for the journey.

Jim remained sitting next to Alex. “Give us a second, Harv.”

A slow grin spread on Harvey’s face. “Take all the time you need, brother… 5 minutes?” He wiggled his free hand in the air in an approximative gesture.

Jim mirrored Harvey’s expression with a huge fake grin. “Yea, yea, very funny. Hear me laughing?”

“Ah to be young and in love again…” Harvey went outside.

Alex shyly looked at Jim. They hadn’t done anything yesterday. He’d claimed it’d make him feel like he’d take advantage of her as long as she still wasn’t back to 100%. So they probably wouldn’t be doing anything today either, right? Damnit, she couldn’t wait for her head to be back to normal.  
“So…?” she said, when he didn’t say anything.

“I just wanted to spend some more time with you…” he said, “I love Harvey, but he’s the worst gossipmonger in the whole GCPD.”

Alex wanted to squeal with joy. He wanted to spend time with her. “So… what do you want to do?”

“Just… ” he reached out and stroked a strand of hair behind her ear.

The small touch felt more intimate than it ought to. Jolts of electricity ran through Alex’s skin and she grabbed his hand and held it where it was, resting her face against it and closing her eyes for the moment.  
“You sure you still don’t want to take advantage of me?” she murmured, eyes closed.

“Yea… especially now that you phrased it like that…” He slowly pulled his hand away from her face and held on to her fingers instead.

“Damn you and your honor! The guys I usually date would fuck me against the wall and not give a shit about my stupid head. Hell, they’d probably give me another concussion pounding me…” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

Jim stared at her, unable to believe her words.

“Alright, maybe that was a bit of an overstatement, but still…” She moved closer to him, putting her arms around his neck, looking into his dark blue eyes.  
She saw the want in his eyes. How had she never noticed how expressive they were? His sad eyebrows, the small wrinkles at the corners, the light lashes the same color as his hair… which lead her to wondering if all of his hair was that light. Involuntarily she glanced at his crotch.  
Damn, now she was horny.

Jim came closer and kissed her forehead. “I got to go.”

Alex groaned. She had never before met a man who was so in control all the time. It was annoying but also kinda hot. Again her mind wandered to other… pleasant things.

He reached up and carefully pulled her arms away. “I’ll see you soon.” he promised.

+++

The next day, Harvey called her in the morning to tell her they had sniffed out (his words, not hers) a couple of punks that matched Alex’s description. Also, Dr. Thompkins had asked she see her while she was at the station. Alex spent twice as much time as finding the right outfit for that. She had felt kinda embarrassed about the state she’d been in last time, even though she knew Lee was probably used to much much worse, having worked at Arkham and all.  


“Jesus, are we going to court or what?” Harvey said, when she got into the car. Alex didn’t own many fancy clothes, but she had made sure the ones she chose were freshly laundered and had no holes or stains.

“Did I overdo it?” she self-consciously looked down on herself. The black skinny jeans she wore nicely contrasted with the loose teal shirtdress. For once she didn’t wear her battered sneakers but a pair of flats that weren’t too worn out instead. It was getting warm enough outside to go sleeveless, but she’d brought a light jacket anyways. One never knew in Gotham.  
She had wanted her to put her hair in a ponytail, but had quickly found the tension gave her a headache. A messy bun, loose enough to let a few curls escape and frame her face sat atop her head instead.

“Nah… you’re just usually underdoing it,” Harvey muttered, giving her another once over as he pulled the car onto the road.

“Way to go boost my confidence,” she laughed.

“Who are you even dressing up for? You’ve got Jim hooked in your raggedy clothes… he doesn’t care what you wear.”

“Yea, but… I don’t want Lee to see me in dirty clothes again. I don’t want her to believe I’m some kind of… madwoman or whatever.”

“She used to work in Arkham… I think she can tell the difference between you and a madwoman.” Harvey rolled his eyes.

Yea, he had a point there.

“So, we got 8 perps for the lineup. These fucking kids pretty much all look alike though, so…” he did a helpless shrug, headshake thing, quickly getting back to business now that the pleasantries were talked through.

“If you got the right one… can I have a few minutes with him? I won’t have to press charges then. You can let them go or whatever, I don’t care…”

“If we got the right one, and that’s a big if, I can grant you five minutes with them, handcuffed, if you want. Whatever you do during that time, I don’t want to know.”

“Good! I’m glad I brought this then.” She opened her bag to reveal an actual brick.

Harvey chuckled. “You really are your fathers’ girl…. just don’t show that thing to Jim. He won’t stand for it.”  
They had to stop at a red light and watched a mother and child cross the street… even though the pedestrian light was red as well.

Alex looked at Harvey. She knew Jim wouldn’t take kindly to that. He had stopped and gotten out of the car to admonish pedestrians before. For him, there was no difference between crossing a red streetlight or killing someone. Crime was crime. He saw one, he stopped it. Period.

Harvey watched the couple but didn’t even think of getting out of the car. “She’s got a nice ass, that one.” he murmured instead.

Alex snorted. “And you wonder why you can’t find a woman.”

“Well, actually…“ He kept on staring straight ahead, but the tension in his body changed.

Alex turned to him, her eyes getting big. “Tell me everything!”

“Nothing much to tell yet… we’ve only been out once…” he murmured.

“Did you… fuck her?” Alex grinned.

“Nah… she’s classy.”

“Can I meet her?”

“Didn’t I just tell you she’s classy?”

“Well, I have to meet her at one point though. I need to make sure she’s good enough for you!”

“At this point, any woman that’ll have me is good enough for me. Beggars can’t be choosers and all.”

Alex’s heart broke at hearing him talk like that. She didn’t get to reply to his comment though, as they reached the GCPD at that moment.

“Not a word to anyone.” Harvey ordered.

Alex made a lock and key motion on her mouth and got out of the car. She knew how it felt being the subject of gossip. If he didn’t want her to talk, she wouldn’t.

+++

She had never been at a lineup before but turned out it was exactly like she had expected.  
The one way mirror facing an empty room, the witness, her, hidden in dark room behind it… Jim had joined them on their way inside and put his arm around her waist protectively as they waited for the perps.

Alex leaned against him, letting her head rest against his shoulder.

“Bring them in,” Harvey said into an intercom on the wall.  
Two uniformed officers lead a small parade of 8 perps inside, each holding up a number. The amount of visible piercings of all of them combined must be bordering on triple digits. It was staggering.

“Whoa… what’s up with number 2? That mask is…” Alex uttered, stepping closer towards the glass. A studded mask with some kind of display hid his face. It was currently showing \\./ which made him look kind of angry, but Alex bet he could change the readout.

“He started screaming and raging when we took it and wouldn’t stop before we gave it back… He’s got a scar that he’s hiding… You need him to take it off?” Jim said, taking a step towards the intercom.

Alex shook her head. “Nah… the two I saw didn’t have any scars… and the tattoos on his arms don’t match either… He is kinda cute though…”

Jim cleared his throat.

Alex swallowed. “Sorry… not as cute as you, of course.” She stepped up to him again and pulled his arm back around her waist. It was only the three of them in the room, so they could allow themselves to be a little affectionate. Harvey pretended to be occupied with looking at the men on the other side of the mirror.  
With that in mind, Alex gently kissed Jim’s jaw. The stubble tickled her lips and once more she wished the concussion away so he would finally allow her to kiss him properly.

Alex prayed Dr. Thompkins would give her the all clear today, even though only two days had passed. She felt good. Walking was back to being as easy as it ought to be and her head barely hurt anymore. Only bright lights were still kinda painful, but with some squinting, she could manage those as well.

Harvey cleared his throat, bringing her back to the present. “So?” he said.

Alex stepped close to the mirror and looked at the guys, one after another. “Can they push up their sleeves? My guy had a weird tattoo on his forearm,” she said.

Harvey pushed the button on the intercom again and told them what to do. They followed his orders and Alex perked up. “There, that’s the one!”

“You sure?” Jim asked, stepping forward to the glass.

Alex carefully looked the guy over once more and finally nodded.

“No need to sniff him?” Harvey teased.

“Stop being so mean! I’m the victim here, remember?” Alex chuckled.

“It is an odd thing to notice though.” Jim murmured.

“No it isn’t. In my kind of work, I often need to sniff stuff in order to know how to get rid of it.” She crossed her arms and tried staring both of them down, which was hard, considering how both were taller than her.

+++

The female suspects were next, but Alex recognized neither of the women.

“So… remember what you promised in the car?” Alex said to Harvey as they walked out of the room. The suspects had been let go, all except for the one Alex had identified.

“Five minutes.” Harvey said.

Alex eagerly nodded.

“What are you talking about?” Jim asked.

Alex froze. “Nothing,” she said, nervously rearranging her heavy bag on her shoulder.

Jim raised an eyebrow at her and reached for the bag. “What are you hiding in there?” he asked, lifting the lid. “Is this a brick?”

Alex rolled her eyes. Jim would never allow her to confront the punk.

“He’s under the GCPD’s protection.”

“But…” Alex started to protest.

“NO.” Jim decidedly said, taking the brick from Alex’s bag. “I’m confiscating that.”

“But… that’s from my bedroom wall. I… kinda need that,” Alex whined.

Dr. Thompkins came out of her office at that moment, changing her path to walk towards them as she noticed Alex. “How do you feel?” she asked, a concerned smile on her face. She shot Jim and his brick a confused glance but quickly focused back on Alex.

“Not too bad.” Alex said. “The headache is as good as gone. I don’t struggle for words more than I did before. Just… I’m still feeling a little dizzy occasionally.”

Lee took Alex by the shoulders, turned her the slightest bit and had her follow her finger with her eyes again, which Alex managed splendidly. Taking her flashlight from her coat pocket, Lee shone it into Alex’s eyes. Whatever she saw, Lee seemed satisfied. “You’re making good progress. Do what you’ve been doing the past few days and you’ll be good as new by Friday.”

Alex perked up. She looked at Jim over Lee’s shoulder to make sure he had heard. His smirk showed her he had.

Lee turned towards Jim as well, a questioning look on her face. “Anything I should know?” she quickly gave voice to her curiosity.

Jim nervously cleared his throat and mumbled a few unintelligible words. He seemed to have found something very interesting at the cuff of his jacket. What exactly, Alex couldn’t tell. Probably not something embarrassing like her.

“I…’ll get going then,” Alex said, her face frozen in a perfectly pleasant mask.

“You want me to take you home?” Jim asked, reaching out towards her.

Alex shook her head and stepped out of his reach. “Nah, I’m good…” And with that she stormed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You've probably noticed by now that I don't have the slightest idea of how police work works... I'm going on pure instinct here and do whatever works for the story... sorry, not sorry :P


	7. Finally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim gets hurt!  
> Who'd have thought thats all it'd take for our couple to FINALLY kiss?!

“Alex… don’t freak out now, but Jim… is in the hospital.”

“What? What happened?”

“We were chasing after some suspects… they pulled a gun on us…”

“Are you alright?”

“Yea, just a couple bruises…”

+++

The slow, regular beeping of the heart monitor and Jim’s even breathing were the only sounds in the quiet hospital room. Muffled noises from the corridor filtered in through the closed door. A long lamp behind Jim’s bed bathed the room in cold, indirect light.

Harvey, Master of the Understatement, had been there and left again. What he’d described as a little bruised had turned out to be two cracked ribs and a split lip that he’d gotten when he’d covered the injured Jim on their retreat.

Long dried tears had left their tracks on Alex’s cheeks. Her butt hurt from sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair without moving for too long. Harvey had offered to take her home, but she had refused. She couldn’t leave Jim’s side now. Being mad at him because of something as stupid as jealousy had been idiotic. In his line of work, in this shithole of a city especially, each day could be his last. She couldn’t afford to be mad at him.

Her thumb traced gentle circles over the back of his clammy, limp hand. The cold light made his face look ghastly. His body looked awfully frail in the thin hospital gown. Her strong, always in control Jim was all at other people’s mercy for once.

“Don’t you dare die on me Jim… not now! I still owe you breakfast, remember?” she sniffled, wiping away a single tear. “And you still owe me a hot shower!” She laughed a sad little laugh. “I’ve been soooo looking forward to that.”

He didn’t answer, of course.

With a deep sigh she leaned back in her chair, hiding her face in her hands. This was so stupid. He’d been shot in the shoulder. While not necessarily lethal, the bullet had had to be surgically removed. According to the doctors, he should have woken up hours ago. All that was there to do was wait.

“And you know, I… we…” She wiped away another tear, “we haven’t even kissed yet and I… I was really really looking forward to that! Damn your honor to hell!”

“You mean that?” he croaked.

Alex froze. “Mean what?” she slowly looked up at him.

“What you just said…”

Alex reached for the glass of water on his nightstand and held it towards him. “About your honor? Yes!”

Jim took the glass, groaning as he moved. Taking a sip of water, he put it on the nightstand again. “… about the kissing.”

Alex nervously licked her lips. “Yea, of course!”

A pained smile spread on his face. “Good to know.”

“That’s all you gotta say?”

He squeezed her fingers. “Sorry… I’d kiss you right this moment if I could reach you.”

“So when I’m sick you’d be taking advantage of me, but when you’re sick its ok?” She got up from her chair and sat down on his bed. “Good to know!” Pulling up one knee, she turned so she could properly face him. “I’m so glad you’re awake,” she whispered.

She was sitting on his left side, the injured side. His fingers weakly moved to her thigh, brushing over her in the gentlest of caresses. “Me too.” The beeping of the heart machine sped up a notch.

Alex let her hand glide over his chest carefully, moving upwards until she touched bare skin at the neckline of the hospital gown. Bending over him, she gave him a soft peck on the cheek. Letting her lips linger for a moment longer, hovering just above his skin, she looked down at him, waiting, watching, inhaling his scent. He smelled of disinfectant and hospital, and almost faded aftershave. Not a particularly pleasant mix, but the warmth of his skin and the feel of his body under her more than made up for it.

Jim reached up with his good arm to carefully brush a soft curl of hair behind her ear.  
A shiver travelled through her body, triggered by his small touch. The little hairs on the back of her neck stood on end and the sensation intensified tenfold when his hand came to rest at the back of her neck. She hoped her body would never stop reacting to his caresses like that.

In a gentle invitation he pulled her towards him.

She willingly complied and their lips met. Final-fucking-ly. They had waited much too long to do this. Somewhere in the back of her head, Alex heard a choir of angels sing.  
The kiss had started all soft but quickly became more and more demanding as the two wanted to take in as much of each other as possible. Her lips prickled, her whole body tingled. The beeping from the heart monitor was almost a constant, single tone. It stopped abruptly as Jim carelessly pulled the small device off his finger.

Pulling away just long enough so she could climb on top of him on the bed, straddling him with her legs, Alex grabbed hold of his face left and right and dove down to find his lips again.  
God, how long had she waited for this!  
It was as good as she had imagined and better. His lips were soft, his tongue eager. His body under hers, injured or not, felt right in all the right places.  
He greedily pulled her closer until she collapsed on top of him, their lips locked against each other. She wanted to spend the rest of her life like that… kissing him, touching him, being with him.

The door slammed open and a tired but alarmed looking Nurse stormed in. Young, with a black ponytail at the back of her head, wearing flowery nurse’s scrubs, she stopped in her tracks, disbelievingly staring at the two in their compromising position.

Alex shot her an awkward smile, slowly sitting up on top of Jim, brushing her hair out of her face.

“You’re awake,” the Nurse said, choosing to ignore Alex’s clumsy climb off the bed. “How do you feel?”

“A little out of breath,” Jim admitted.

“I can see why…” the Nurse said, raising a disapproving eyebrow. She checked on the IV that had magically not been ripped out of Jim’s skin in their short-lived make out session and took a few notes on the clipboard at the foot end of the bed before putting the little pulse measuring device back on his finger. “Please don’t remove it again.”

“I won’t,” Jim promised.

“And you should probably go home.” She turned to Alex. “Visiting hours are long over.”

Alex shook her head. “Not gonna happen. You know how long I’ve waited for this to happen?”

The nurse sighed deeply, probably considering whether or not fighting with Alex was worth her time. “Well then… at least remove your shoes before you crawl into beds.” She turned away and was almost at the door when she looked back at them once more. “He lost a lot of blood. Make sure it isn’t all needed in one spot… if you…” another sigh, “no sexual activities!” Before they could say anything, she was gone again.  
The door fell closed after her, leaving them alone once more.

“That was… awkward.” Alex uncomfortably stepped from one foot to the other, looking after the Nurse. She slowly went around the bed to sit down on her chair again.

Jim watched her, his eyes were heavy-lidded, his face looked tired, but now that he’d had a taste of her, he didn’t seem to be willing to let her go again so soon. “What are you doing? You heard the woman. Remove your shoes before you crawl into bed again.”

Alex chuckled. She liked his idea much better than hers.   
Carefully removing her shoes, as she’d been told to do, she climbed back into bed. Jim scooched to the side to make space for her.

“Is that ok?” she asked, carefully putting her head on his uninjured shoulder.

In lieu of an answer he pulled her closer.

Slowly, she let her leg slide over him, wrapping herself around his body. “Still ok?”

“Very much,” Jim murmured. His voice was low. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head.

His eyes were closed when she looked up at him, his breathing evened out again. She couldn’t blame him. It had been an eventful day and it was the middle of the night.   
She wriggled around a bit, making herself comfortable on the small bed, until her face came to rest against the crook of his neck. Placing a soft kiss against his pulse point, she inhaled deeply.

“Are you sniffing me?” he mumbled sleepily, his jaw brushing against her head as he spoke.

“Umm… maybe?” Alex didn’t move from where she was.

“Weirdo,” he whispered.

“Shhh… don’t speak. You’re injured.” She blindly placed a finger on his lips, effectively shushing him, and took another deep inhale directly against his skin.

His chest shook with laughter, but no noise came out. He didn’t comment on her behavior anymore. Smart man.

+++

The door being pushed open so forcefully it crashed against the wall jerked Alex awake.

“Rise and shine buddy!” Harvey greeted, followed by “Holy mother of…” when he realized what he had walked in on.

“Shit…” Alex murmured, reflexively trying to free herself from Jim’s embrace. She momentarily forgot how small the bed was and rolled backwards too far.  
“Ooof…” She landed on the linoleum floor with a thump. Her shoulder protested being used so roughly again so soon.

“You alright?” Jim asked, sitting up and looking down at her, hissing in pain when he moved his injured shoulder.

“Peachy…oww…” She sat up on the ground and rolled her shoulder a few times while trying to get her sleepy mind to catch up with what was happening.

“Oh to finally see the two of you like that… it warms my heart… and my wallet!” Harvey theatrically placed one hand on his chest and extended the other towards Alex to help her up from the ground. “Too bad I came in here before the Captain…”

“Good Morning, Detective. The Nurse told us you were awake. And a Good Morning to you too, Miss Brooks. What brings you here so early?” Captain Barnes didn’t let his surprise upon finding Alex standing next to Jim’s bed show in the slightest. Impressive.

She nervously cleared her throat and inconspicuously tried (and failed) to bring some order into her hair and clothes. “Just wanted to make sure Jim was alright before I got to work.”

“Very considerate of you.” Barnes looked her up and down judgmentally, taking in her wrinkled state.

She knew she couldn’t fool him.

He knew she knew.

For the sake of keeping their uneasy truce however, both of them pretended she hadn’t spent the night with Jim.

Alex slowly made her way past the older man as he placed his focus on Jim again. She figured she’d give them a few minutes to talk about… whatever it was Barnes was here to talk about. She didn’t care, as long as she didn’t have to spend more time than strictly necessary in the same room as him.

She allowed herself one glance back at him before she left the room. A broad smile plastered itself onto her face. Jim was sitting up, talking, living, breathing. Life was good.

+++

“So you finally got some!” Harvey said from behind her. He made it a statement, not a question. They were in the corridor, just in front of Jim’s room. Doctors and Nurses busily ran from room to room and back to the Nurses station. Days started early in Gotham General. “Didn’t take you as someone who’d do the nasty in public, I gotta admit. C’mon, let’s get your husband some coffee. My treat! You just won me 20$.”

Alex rolled her eyes, but fell into step with him, glad he couldn’t see her face. She was blushing like a school girl. “We didn’t do anything. The Nurse… forbade it… he lost a lot of blood…”

Harvey chuckled. He seemed uncharacteristically chipper. “Back in my day, we wouldn’t have let a Nurse tell us what to do. Life’s too short!”

“Yea well… you know Jim… always a sucker for the rules.” Alex snickered. His mood was infectious.

“True… “

“How are you by the way? You okay?” Alex asked. “I didn’t think, your face could become any more weird looking, but here you go,” she teased, grinning at him broadly.

Harvey absentmindedly licked his swollen lip. He seemed to think for a retort, pointing a finger and giving her the version of his “angry” stare that Alex knew was exclusively reserved for her, shaking his head at her with narrowed eyes, opening and closing his mouth a few times. Alex was about to comment on how she could see the wheels in his head turning when he finally spoke: “You’re risking a fat lip yourself, talking to me like that!”

“Sorry…” she chuckled, “I’m glad you’re ok.” She put one arm around his shoulder and gave him a quick squeeze midstride.

+++

They took the elevator downstairs to get coffee from the cafeteria. The vending machines spewed nothing but undrinkable black piss. Even the instant coffee Alex served at home was better than that stuff.

When they passed the reception, Alex silently elbowed Harvey. Bruce Wayne and his Butler, the former wearing a black turtleneck and grey pants, the latter dressed like an English earl, were standing there.  
Bruce had to stand on tiptoe to lean over the counter, Alex noticed.   
Too short to live in an adult world, yet the richest man in Gotham already. What a life that must be.

+++

Alex went into Jim’s room first, carrying a small cardboard tray with four coffees. Harvey almost ran into her when she froze just two steps into the room.   
“What….” she whispered, almost dropping their drinks.   
Captain Barnes was gone. Instead, Bruce Wayne and his Butler, what was his name? Pennywhise?, were there. Bruce sat on the uncomfortable chair she had spent most of yesterday on. The Butler stood at the foot end of the bed.

Bruce got up and walked towards them, a genuinely friendly smile on his face. The Butler followed half a step behind him.

Alex was utterly confused. What were they doing here? How did Jim know them? Why hadn’t he ever mentioned he knew them?

“Bruce, this is Alex Brooks I told you about and you know Harvey of course,” Jim said from the bed, sitting up straighter, a pained look on his face as he used his injured arm. “Alex, Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth.”

“Hi, umm…” remembering her manners, Alex took Bruce’s outstretched hand, “nice to meet you, Mr. Wayne, Mr. Pennyworth.”

“Call me Bruce, please,” Bruce insisted.

“You’ll have to call me Alex then,” she returned thankfully, smiling at him brightly. Calling a kid his age Mr. or Sir would have felt awkward.

Bruce offered her the single chair as they walked back to the bed. Alex waved him off. “I sat in that thing all of last night. I think I got those screws imprinted on my ass.”   
She groaned inwardly. Had she just mentioned her ass to Bruce Wayne? Way to go make a first impression. Fuck! Stupid Alex, stupid!

“We’d have brought more breakfast if we’d known you’re here to see Jim. We saw you downstairs.” Harvey saved her.

“That’s perfectly alright. We already had breakfast. And we don’t want to intrude on you for too long anyways, don’t we, Master Bruce? Only wanted to make sure Detective Gordon is alright, after what happened last night.”

“Yes, of course. We really shouldn’t,” Bruce agreed. “You should come by at the house Detectives; soon. You’re very welcome to join us too, Alex.”

Alex froze. An invitation to Wayne Manor? She didn’t know what to say.

Harvey snorted. “We’ll be there. Wherever free food is, Alex is, right?” He slapped her on the back hard enough to pull her out of her trancelike state and make her tumble forward a step. The coffee almost toppled out of her hands.

Bruce caught and saved her from spilling everything. Boy, that kid had reflexes! He took the cardboard carrier from her hands and carefully placed it on Jim’s nightstand.

“Thank you,” Alex muttered, embarrassment clearly written over her face. “And thank you for the invitation. I’d love to go. Seeing the inside of Wayne Manor has kinda been a childhood dream.”

“You’ll have to come visit us soon then,” Bruce enthusiastically agreed. “I can give you a tour of the house. It will be my pleasure to help you achieve your dream.” He seemed genuinely happy about them accepting his invitation. Must be a lonely life up there on the hill.

“Well, Master Bruce, we better get going. Wouldn’t want to overstay our welcome.”

“Yes, Alfred. Of course. Get well soon Detective Gordon, and give us a call when you’re out of the hospital.” Bruce treated them to one more of his broad smiles and the pair left.

Alex stared after them long after the door had fallen closed. “So neither of you thought it important to mention to me how you’re friends with Bruce Wayne?” she asked, her gaze still fixed on the door.

“We make all kinds of friends in our line of work… you wouldn’t even believe half of it.”


	8. Kissing and other Adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Jim and Alex are finally on the same page about their attraction, all they want is spend more time together. Too bad, stuff keeps happening to hinder them from it.

Jim discarded himself from the hospital later that same day. The doctors strongly advised against it. He thanked them for their advice and told them he didn’t care. He had a job to do.   
His arm was in a sling but since it was his left arm and he was right handed, he could hold a gun and was therefore good to go… that’s what he’d explained to Alex. The fact that he’d needed help get dressed didn’t disturb him in the slightest.

“Please watch out for him,” Alex said to Harvey as he and Jim got into their car.

Seeing them drive off didn’t feel good at all. Alex was anxious and felt like a lump the size of a chickens egg sat in her throat.

She called Phil on her way to her car, asking him to hang out so she could get her mind off of Jim and Harvey out on the streets.   
Once she offered to buy him food, he quickly agreed.

+++

They met in her flat, ordered takeout and watched old movies on her crappy TV. Well, watch movies was probably an overstatement, since they talked through most of it.

“Sooo… I… spent the night with Jim… again,” she said.

“Did you get into his pants finally? That must be like the 5th time this month you slept together… you’ve jumped over the honeymoon phase and gone straight to the couple-that’s-been-married-for-20-years-phase.”

Alex elbowed him. “No we didn’t fuck! He was injured!”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Oh come on… “

“Sorry, we can’t all be fucktards like you.”

“That was mean…” he pouted.

“Yea well, so are you.”

“Alright, alright! I’ll shut up,” he waved defensive arms at her and focused on the screen where Godzilla was destroying another skyscraper. “I wonder what he’s like in bed though. I mean… he seems so fierce and… alpha in his daily life.”

Alex choked on her drink. She had thought a lot about that actually, but never thought anyone else wonder about it too.

Phil slapped her back a few times, grinning, “I want you to call me the second you find out!”

Alex shook her head at him, eyes narrowed. “I’ll probably be occupied otherwise when I find out.”

“Well, as soon as you got your hands free… I bet he takes his handcuffs home every night,” Phil continued teasing. “I’m excited now!” He giddily clapped his hands.

“Is there ever anything but sex inside that head of yours?” Alex grinned.

“Rarely.”

Alex’s phone vibrated on the table with a message.

“Dickpic?” Phil asked, looking over her shoulder when she opened it.

“God, I hope not! It’s from Harvey!”   
A blurry picture of a grinning Harvey, making thumbs up in the foreground and Jim maneuvering a crook into a car in the background showed up on the display.   
Alex chuckled. “I… think they got the guy who shot Jim…”   
She held the phone towards Phil.

“You have a weird relationship with that guy,” Phil dryly stated.

“That’s how I like my relationships: weird,” Alex murmured absentmindedly, “and funnily enough… you’re not even the first person to tell me that!”

+++

The next morning, Alex went to the Precinct to bring Harvey and Jim breakfast… or so she told them. In all honesty, it was kind of a pretense to see Jim. She knew work would always come first for him, but she could live with that. It was who he was. She could work around that.  
It was midmorning when she entered. Uniformed policemen were coming and going, perps in the cells were talking, shouting. Someone laughed. The Precinct seemed alive. Jim and Harvey weren’t at their respective desks. Alvarez was.

“Brooks! I heard congratulations are in order!” he called when she passed him.

Alex stopped. A broad grin spread on her face when she turned to him. “For once you heard right.” She couldn’t entirely keep her pride hidden. For so long, people had made fun of her and now, finally, it had happened. She wanted to rub the haters’ faces in how she and Jim were making progress. Slow but steady wins the race!

“Cost me an arm and a leg!”

Alex chuckled. She didn’t like him much but she was in a good mood today. Hearing how he’d lost money because of her made her day even better. “Yea well… make better bets then!” she shrugged. “Where’s Harvey and Jim?” She motioned at their empty desks.

“With the Captain. Been in there a while too…”

“Bummer!” Alex rolled her eyes and sat down on Harvey’s chair. It creaked with age, but it was ridiculously comfortable.   
Sipping her coffee, she occupied herself by doing his crosswords. They hopefully wouldn’t take much longer or they’d have to drink cold coffee.

“So, did you do the deed as well?” Alvarez followed her to Harvey’s desk and sat down on the corner.

“A Lady doesn’t kiss and tell!” Alex said, tapping her pen against the paper with a raised eyebrow.

“You see a Lady somewhere around?”

“Touché!”

“So?”

“No, we haven’t…” Alex focused back on the crosswords. She didn’t want to see his nasty grin.

“So the pool’s still open!” Alvarez laughed. “Well done, Brooks! Well done!” He got up and slapped her on the shoulder.

“Alvarez! What are you doing, harassing defenseless women in our Precinct?” Harvey suddenly said.

“Defenseless? Thanks, Harvey!” Alex said. “Alvarez, you want his coffee?”

“Sure, why not…” He reached for the cup Alex held towards him.

“Off you go!” Harvey shooed the other Detective away before he could steal his drink.

“What are you doing, causing a ruckus at my place of work?” Jim said, stepping out of Barnes’ office as well.

“Wow, neither of you even deserves my kindness,” Alex said, pointing at the coffees and donuts on the table. She got up to greet Jim nonetheless. She put her arms around him and wanted to place a kiss on his lips.

He moved out of her reach. “This is my place of work,” he said, awkwardly bending backwards while she still held on to his waist.

“Yea, so?”

“You kissing me here is… unprofessional.”

Alex blinked at him, taking a few steps backwards. “Jeez, I’m sorry… I just missed you…”

“We can meet up in the evening,” Jim offered, reaching for her hand. “We can do whatever you want then.”

That promise more than made up for his refusal of affection at the present moment.

 

Came evening though… nothing.   
He didn’t call, didn’t text, didn’t pick up his phone.

+++

When Alex woke up the next morning she found a text on her phone. Jim had sent it at 2.11 am. [Sorry about today, only got out of the office just now. See you tomorrow maybe?]

Well… that was… anticlimactic. But Alex could deal with that. She could work with him. She had to bring her monthly invoice to the Precinct anyways.

No sooner had she entered, carrying the invoice for Barnes in a thin paper folder than someone grabbed her by the elbow.   
Someone turned out to be Jim. “What are you doing?” she asked, struggling to keep up with him pulling her.

He didn’t say anything, just kept on walking, through the main office and back into the part that housed the locker rooms, the M.E. office, the interrogation rooms and a hitherto unknown storage closet. He opened the door and pulled Alex inside.

A slow grin spread on her face. She hoped he was going where she thought he was going.

He closed the door behind them and crowded her backwards, trapping her against the door. Alex still had the papers for Barnes in her hands but they dropped to the floor and fluttered apart when his one hand buried in her hair and his other went around her waist.

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Saying sorry…” he kissed her neck, “…about yesterday.”

“If you say sorry like that, please stand me up more often.” Lifting her head the tiniest bit, standing up taller, so he could access her skin more easily, she closed her eyes in delight.

He pulled her closer, his hands greedily travelling up and down her body as if he wanted to touch all of her at once. “I probably will…” he said, only pulling away from her for long enough to speak. His teeth grazed over her skin, gently nibbling on her neck and downwards. He stopped at the neckline of her tank top.

Damn, she wanted him to keep going. “Don’t hold back on my account,” Alex breathed.

His hands eagerly travelled to the front side on her body, cupping her breasts through her shirt.

Alex moaned softly as her knees turned to goo. She blindly reached out to steady herself against the wall and somehow managed to make the mop in the corner topple over, taking with it a bottle of cleaner and a few boxes of paper towels. The noise reminded them both where they were and broke the spell they were under.

Jim pulled back and looked at her, breathing hard, desire written plainly on his face.

Alex’s chest heaved and fell with her breath. She gathered her bearings much quicker than him, glancing at the mop on the ground, then back at Jim and now it was her who practically jumped him. She crowded him against the shelves in the back, her hands buried in his hair, her lips pressed against his. Their teeth clicked together a few times, so eager were both of them after having denied themselves for so long. She felt something in his pants push against her and eagerly pressed herself against him that much harder, rubbing left and right for added pleasure. His hands cupped her ass and lifted her up.

Neither of them noticed the janitor come into the room until he cleared his throat very loudly.

Jim let go of her ass and she had to hold on to him to stay upright. Her knees were much too weak to carry her weight.

“Frank, I… we…” Jim muttered.

“Don’t let me disturb you,” Frank grinned, his grey moustache jumping up and down on his face with his words. “I’ll just get my cart and you’re good to go.”

Alex turned around to look at Frank, hastily getting her clothes in order. Jim held on to her arms on both sides so she couldn’t step away. A short glance downwards over her shoulder told Alex why: His pants were visibly tenting around his crotch area.

Frank busied himself with preparing his cart, reaching for the mop on the ground, shooting them a toothy grin every now and then. “Just one more thing…” he reached towards them and the couple moved to the side as he took a bottle of cleaner from the shelf they were currently leaning against.

Alex and Jim forced themselves to grin back at him but neither said anything.

Frank left and closed the door behind him after one last happy little grin at them.

The room suddenly was very quiet. And very small.

Alex took a step away from Jim. His pants were back to their normal shape.

“Raincheck?” Jim said.

Alex nodded.

+++

In their eagerness yesterday they had trampled Alex’s invoice. Since Barnes was notoriously tidy, she assumed he probably wouldn’t appreciate papers with footprints on them. She wasn’t exactly sad she had to come back to the Precinct the next day.

Harvey was at his desk. Jim wasn’t. Bummer.

“Morning,” Alex said, sitting down on his desk, putting her papers next to her, for safekeeping, lest Jim wanted to make out in the morgue or somewhere today.

Harvey took a long sip from his coffee before he greeted her as well. “What are you doing here so early? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you outside at this hour.” He looked at his watch to underline his words.

Alex shrugged. “I’m a busy bee these days. Barnes wanted my invoice yesterday, but…”

“It got destroyed, yes, I heard.”

“You… what did you hear?”

“Oh just about you and Jim and the broom closet…” he shrugged, grinning up at her.

Alex let out a nervous little chuckle. “So Frank told…”

“Frank? Nah, what would he know about it? Doc Lee saw you come out, all disheveled and with a ‘healthy glow’ on both your cheeks,” he said, making air quotation marks. “You did it in there, huh?”

“We did nothing… just… make out a little.” Alex admitted.

Harvey’s eyebrows rose up. “So you still haven’t done the deed? Gods damnit, woman!” He angrily pulled a wrinkled 20$ bill out of his pocket and slapped it onto the table.

Alvarez, who had silently walked closer during their conversation wordlessly took the bill and wandered off, chuckling to himself.

“You have a real problem, Harvey, you know that, right?” Before he could say anything, she continued: “Where’s Jim? I saw his car outside!”

Harvey shrugged. “Somewhere in the back probably… I don’t know his exact whereabouts all the time, you know?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Thank you for being so helpful.” She got up and wandered off in search of her man. She’d been working late last night, cleaning up what was left of a shot security guard after a bank robbery. For once it had been her fault Jim and she hadn’t been able to meet up. She needed to make it up to him, to keep the balance and all.

Jim was in the corridor leading to their make out closet, talking to Lee of all people. Alex slowed down her steps.

Jim glanced at Alex, then back at Lee, then at Alex again, the tiniest of smiles on his face, his eyes twinkling with mischief. Alex hadn’t even been aware that was an emotion Jim was capable of.  
Lee turned to look at her as well, unable to hide a small knowing smile. Did Jim know Lee knew?

“Good Morning Alex, how are you?” Lee asked, her voice perfectly pleasant.

Damn, she was so pretty it almost hurt looking at her face. “Fine… you? All good in the M.E. Business?”

“Yes, lots of interesting cases all day long, but you don’t really want to know that, do you? I’ll leave the two of you to it.” She winked at Alex as she snapped her folder closed and left, leaving Jim staring after her. He seemed confused. So he probably didn’t know Lee knew.

“She knows.” Alex whispered, stepping close to him. She looked around to make sure they were alone before grabbing his wrist and pulling him after her, into Interrogation Room 1.

The door fell closed behind them and she pushed him into the corner right next to the one-way mirror, hoping the blind spot would hide them from curious eyes that might or might not be watching them from behind the mirror. Something about that thought excited her.

“Sorry about yesterday.” Alex whispered, kissing his lips, his jaw, his neck. With eager fingers, she loosened his tie so she had better access. He momentarily tensed up as she gently nipped his skin and unbuttoned the topmost buttons on his shirt, letting her hands glide into it, greedily feeling him up. Damnit, she wanted his skin against her skin. Her nipples tightened at the sheer thought of it.

She eagerly tugged and pulled on his shirt to get the skin contact she so desired, when he took hold of her hands. “Not here,” he whispered.

“Then where?” she muttered, desperation tinting her voice.

“My place. Tonight. No excuses!”

“That goes both ways though, just so you know!” Alex said.

Jim nodded.

“So you want to stop now?” she asked, voice lowering.

He seemed to think about it for a moment. “Nah… just keep things PG13.”

Alex chuckled. “As long as we can go… whatever the opposite of PG13 is tonight…”

+++

Alex parked her car at the address Jim had given her. She had never been to his place before. The building he lived in was equally old but in much better shape than hers. The buzzer and the elevator worked, which was quite impressive in and of itself. The fact there was only one lock on his door really brought home the fancy.

“Way to impress a woman,” Alex murmured when he opened the door.

“The fact that my door doesn’t have marks of forced entry you mean?” Jim joked, actually joked. He wore his usual slacks and had added a black t-shirt to it. The color suited him. It brought out his eyes.

“Yea, that too,” Alex grinned. Stepping closer to him, she put her arms up around his neck. “Hi,” she whispered, kicking the door closed behind her. The fact the short dress she wore lifted with her movement wasn’t entirely coincidental.

Jim put his arms around her waist and they kissed. Slow and appreciative, relishing each moment. For the first time there was no chance of anyone interrupting them… or so Alex thought. Jim’s thoughts seemed to go much of the same direction. He pushed her backwards until they bumped into the couch.

Alex laughed and let herself fall over the backrest. Jim moved around it more elegantly. Licking his lips, he took all of her in before he climbed on top of her, letting his hands glide up her thighs, under the hem of her dress.

“Not losing any more time, huh?” Alex whispered breathlessly. She allowed her hands to explore a little as well, pushing up his shirt just a little.

“You want me to slow down?” he hissed, lifting up on his arms.

“God no! Please don’t slow down!”

 

They fucked then and there, on the sofa, both still wearing most of their clothes. Getting undressed would have been too much of a hassle. They could do that later… They had all night after all.

The afterglow hadn’t even worn off yet, when Jim’s phone rang.

Alex felt him stiffen on top of her. Then he moved. Towards the phone.

“Don’t you dare!” she hissed, reaching for his arm.

He continued moving, getting up and out of her reach.

“James Gordon!” she said, sitting up.

“Just let me check who it is.” He went to the kitchen table, buckling his pants, and reached for the phone.

“Unbelievable,” Alex muttered.

“Barnes,” he said. “Sorry.” He picked up and went out of the room.

Alex got up and searched for her panties. She only heard Jim’s side of the conversation but that was all she needed to know. Their night was over before it had really begun.

“You’re an ass, I hope you’re aware of that.” Alex muttered, when he came back, angrily pulling up her panties and reaching for her jacket on the floor.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Yea, you better! And if you dare to get yourself killed tonight, I’ll shit on your grave every Wednesday for the rest of my life!” She reached for the door but he grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him.

“You’re crazy,” he whispered and shut her up with a kiss.


	9. 20 eventful hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot is happening in Gotham City... changes, good and bad

6.30pm

Phil and Alex had just sat down on the stairs of some office building in the diamond district, and unpacked their “picnic” of Indian takeout they’d bought half a block back, when Alex’s phone rang.

“Oy, what’s up?” Alex picked up, chewing a mouthful of curry.

“Did you notice anything different about Barnes yesterday?” Harvey said, not bothering with niceties.

She took a few seconds to chew and swallowed before she replied. “Umm… like him being even more of an ass than he usually is? Because: yes. Why do you ask?”

“Go home, lock yourself in, tell Phil to do the same.” Harvey ordered.

“Any reason for that?” Alex frowned.

There was rustling and Jim took over: “Don’t go home. Go to my place. My neighbor’s got the key. I’ll tell her to let you in. There’s a gun under the kitchen table. Lock the door and don’t come out. You got it?”

Alex nodded before she remembered he couldn’t see her. “Yes, okay… I’ll just… What’s happening?”

Again the rustling and Harvey was back on the line. “Just this once, listen to me, don’t question us. You’ll be safe at Jim’s. Get going.” He hung up.

Phil had stopped stuffing his face with Curry and looked at her quizzically.

“Umm… They want us to go to Jim’s place and lock ourselves in?” Alex made it more of a question than a statement. She frowned, thinking over the call once more.

“What the fuck?” Phil said, licking his spoon clean.

“Yea, I don’t know. They sounded serious though. Come on, let’s get going.” Alex mumbled, starting to put the lids back on their containers and carefully stacking the boxes back into their bag. Phil reluctantly gave up his spoon and got up when Alex did.

\---

7.15pm

Jim’s elderly neighbor, Mrs. Kent had been expecting Alex, but not Phil. She only reluctantly unlocked the door for them. Alex thanked her and closed the door in her face before she could change her mind about Phil or ask about Jim’s handsome partner once more.

“So what are we gonna do?” Phil said when they both got out from under the table checking the gun was where it was supposed to be. “I feel like I need a pair of sunglasses and one of those earpieces, if I’m guarding you,” he said.

Alex snorted. “If anything, I’m guarding you… how do you want to protect me with those spindly arms?”

“Don’t bodyshame!” Phil faked hurt.

With no other instructions than locking themselves in, they ended up watching TV. The newsflashes that interrupted the regular schedule every so often made Alex more and more uneasy. Someone was targeting small time criminals and executing them on the spot. Jim and Harvey were sometimes visible in the background of the live pictures, hurrying past the TV crews, guns out, sometimes they were nowhere to be seen at all. Alex couldn’t decide which was worse.  
Usually, she was pretty good at pushing the dangers her friends faced on a daily basis to the very back of her mind. Seeing them on TV, quasi live, made suppressing her worries that much harder though.

The fact that Phil and her were in danger too didn’t bother her as much. No one knew they were here. Still, she found herself glancing at the table every once in a while. The gun wasn’t visible from where she sat but it was reassuring to know it was there.  
Harvey had taken her to the shooting range a few times when she’d been a teenager. She knew how to handle a gun but was an embarrassingly bad shot. She hoped it wouldn’t come to the point where she’d have to prove that.

Alex didn’t consider them criminals, not by far, but of course she was aware taking stuff from crime scenes wasn’t exactly legal. If someone who knew about them was out for small time offenders, they might well be targets.

Phil didn’t seem to be worried at all. He smoked a few joints by the window, abusing the small potted plant that sat there as an ashtray, and fell asleep on the sofa sometime around midnight, TV still on.

\---

12pm

Alex was too riled up to stay stationary. Too many thoughts went through her head, tumbling over each other and making her all crazy with anxiety. Absentmindedly she wandered through Jim’s flat to get her mind to focus on other things. She hadn’t had much time to look around last time she’d been here. Now she had more time than she was comfortable with. The place had an open floorplan. Left of the entrance was a spacey kitchen with a breakfast counter. It faced a window that looked out over the now empty street. For a moment she lost herself in the comforting thought of sitting there with a cup of coffee and a book during sunset, waiting for Jim to come home… if he ever came home again, a helpful voice inside her head offered.  
“Of course he will!” she muttered out loud.

Letting her fingers glide over the surface of the counter, she moved out of the kitchen. They had finished their interrupted dinner on the table with the gun hidden underneath. It had four comfortable matching chairs around it. Uncharacteristically for both of them, they had cleaned up right after they’d finished. The place was so tidy it would have felt like a sacrilege to leave their dirty dishes. Next to the entry door a few leaflets and unopened letters lay on a small table. Making sure the door was locked, Alex pulled out the key and put it there as well so Jim could get inside if… when he came home.

Half separated from the Dining area by a bookshelf was the worn in, dark leather sofa, facing away from her, with a snoring Phil. The TV was still on but there hadn’t been any newsflashes for a while now. Instead late night phone sex commercials had taken over the broadcast. Alex reached for the remote and turned off the TV.  
A pang of longing went through her mind when she walked past the sofa. She tried to hold on to the thought of her and Jim on it only a few days ago. It was far more pleasant than the other, darker ideas that went around inside her head.

Walking into the bedroom all alone made her sigh. That definitely wasn’t how she’d imagined entering it for the very first time. She forced herself to think about the many future occasions they’d enter it together, pulling apart the neatly made bed, not giving a shit about marring the tightly tucked covers.

The tidiness in the whole place told volumes about Jim’s military background if one was inclined to think about such things. She almost felt bad when she pulled out the sheets for real. Once she got settled though, she quickly relaxed. She had found a worn, washed out shirt and put it on. Everything smelled like Jim. It made her feel safe and comfortable and quickly lulled her into a dreamless sleep.

\---

3-4am???

“Jim?” she muttered drowsily when the movement of someone climbing into bed next to her an indeterminate amount of time later woke her up.

She felt soft lips pressed against her forehead and smelled shower gel and shampoo. His skin was damp to the touch.

Jim was home. And safe. And unhurt as far as she could tell in the dark. A tension she hadn’t realized she’d been holding went out of her, decreasing with each of his movements as he got settled in bed, tossing this way and that until he finally came to rest close enough to touch, but far enough away it was clear he wanted to sleep and not do anything else.

\---

9am

“Aah… fucking…. oww!” someone shouted.

Alex blinked a few times, looking around in confusion until she remembered where she was. Gloomy morning light filtered in through the windows, only partly blocked by the closed blinds in Jim’s bedroom.

Jim, wearing a white shirt similar to the one Alex had stolen last night and a pair of dark blue boxer briefs, was up and out of bed in a second, gun in his hands and ready to strike.

“Why is there glass on the floor?” Phil shouted.

Jim seemed to relax somewhat, his shoulders losing their tension, his hand with the gun sinking to his side. “Why is Phil here?”

“Ask him…” Alex muttered. She was neither a quick, nor an early riser. Without a dose of caffeine in her system, she’d need another hour until she could form cohesive thoughts. She turned to her other side and buried under the covers again but couldn’t fall back asleep.

Jim went to check on Phil, leaving the door to the bedroom open. Alex could only make out a few of their words but it sounded like Jim said he’d had to jump through a window last night, chasing… Barnes? That woke her right up. What the fuck had happened?

She got up and joined the two men. Phil was sitting on one of the chairs, his foot propped up on his thigh, a pair of tweezers in his hands. A bottle of disinfectant and a box of band aids sat on the table next to him.

Jim was in the kitchen, making coffee.

“Did you just say you chased Barnes?” Alex asked, slowly padding towards them. She stopped to check on Phil.

“You’re standing in the light… shoo!” he waved her away without looking up from the bloody cut on his foot.

Jim had to raise his voice a bit over the sound of the coffee maker. “He was infected with the Tetch Virus. Things… got out of hand and we had to lock him up,” he said, tiredly brushing his hand through his still sleep tousled hair.

Alex couldn’t even begin to imagine how he felt. Arresting his Captain, one of the few men he’d thought he could trust… no wonder he looked about done with the world.

“I’m glad you’re alright,” she whispered, even though his inner turmoil was perfectly visible. She placed a chaste kiss on his lips and let her arms glide around his waist. The sadness in his eyes made her want to stuff him back into bed and bring him hot cocoa until he felt better.  
The thought that the man who saved the city on a weekly basis was hers to take care of made her mind go all fuzzy. Not that he’d ever let her stuff him into bed, but still…

“Yea, me too…” he answered, squeezing her against him.

“Yea, I’m not, but who cares, right?!” Phil hissed from his chair, noisily dropping the tweezers onto the table.

“Of course we care!” Alex said, her voice muffled by her face being pressed against Jim’s chest. “But we know you’re a tough cookie. You’ll make it.”

11am

Jim, of course, went to work despite having only gotten a very few hours of sleep. Alex and Phil were allowed to go home to their respective flats now that Barnes was safely locked up.

Alex walked up the stairs in her building, mind still occupied with what had happened during the past few hours. She froze when she reached her flat. The door was gone.

Living in a shitty neighborhood, having someone break into her place wasn’t anything new. What was new though, was that the door wasn’t just open, it had been heaved off its hinges and lay on the ground in her entry area. The middle panel was broken. She could see the floorboards through a roundish, splintery hole.

Whoever had done this hadn’t wanted to steal her stuff. They had been looking for her. Her breathing sped up.

Carefully, she stepped over the broken door and took a look around. The curtain that separated her bedroom had been ripped down. Besides that, the usual chaos was unchanged.

Without thinking, she reached for her phone and dialed Harvey’s number.

“What do you want? I’m kinda busy!” he said. It sounded like he was in the middle of a crowd.

“Someone broke into my flat.” Alex mumbled. Standing in her entryway made her feel awfully exposed. She went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

“Again?”

“Yea… but it’s…”

“I’ll send someone over.”

“Harvey, listen! The door is… it looks like someone punched right through! I think… I think Barnes might have been here, looking for me.”

He hesitated for a second. “Come to the Precinct then. You’re safe here.”

\---

1pm

Something was happening at the Precinct. A crowd of news people stood outside, moving in through the front entrance like slow molasses.  
Alex knew the house like the back of her hand, what with her and Jim sneaking around day after day and went around the building through the back entrance.

The crowd of reporters gathered on the main floor, babbling over one another, shouting to drown each other out, not caring about the desks all around and disturbing the uniformed officers. They were focused at… Harvey of all people. He stood behind the banister on the Detectives’ Level. Cameras flashed, microphones and recording devices were held up towards him. What was he doing?

“How does it feel becoming the new Captain over night?” a female reporter asked.

“Replacing a man that has been sick for weeks…” another reporter added.

“It’s interim Captain and I’ll do it only so long until we find the antidote for the Tetch Virus,” Harvey said.

Alex slowly made her way farther upstairs, onto the balcony atop the Captain’s office. She could watch the crowd but was far enough away not to get into the middle of the commotion.  
Harvey was occupied with the reporters, answering their questions one after another.

“You proud, Brooks?” Alvarez suddenly asked from her left.

“I’m not entirely sure what’s happening,” she said, raising a questioning eyebrow at him.

“Bullock will be acting Captain until Barnes is back.”

Alex had gathered as much from the questions but hearing it confirmed made her pause. “How? Why?”

“He’s the senior Detective. He’s next in line.” Alvarez shrugged.

Alex hadn’t been aware of that fact but now that she thought about it, it made sense. Harvey would probably hate every minute, but she herself had to admit she liked the thought. It was always good, having friends in high places. Dealing with him instead of Barnes would make her job so much more pleasant.

Jim appeared at the top of the stairs. “I thought I saw you come inside…” he said.

A broad grin appeared on her face and she walked towards him, intending on kissing him, before she remembered his rule about displays of affection in his workplace. She stopped herself a step before him.

He embraced her in the quickest of hugs before stepping away again. “What’s in the backpack?” he asked, motioning at her back.

“Just some clothes… someone broke my front door…”

“Broke? What do you mean? Why didn’t you call me?” Jim interrupted, his face taking on an alarmed expression. Alvarez took a curious step closer as well.

“Broke like… punched through it, I guess…” She made a punching motion in the empty air, “I called Harvey…” Why did Jim’s expression make her feel like she had to defend herself all of a sudden? She hadn’t done anything wrong!

“You’re gonna stay with me until this is fixed,” he decided, not giving a crap about Alvarez overhearing them.

Alex blinked at him a few times but finally shrugged. “Am I? Okay.”

Alvarez’s eyes went all big. “When!?” he asked.

“Come again?” Jim said.

“He wants to know when we started… you know…” Alex snickered.

“Don’t you have your own business to worry about?” Jim told his coworker off.

Alvarez shook his head. “There’s a lot of money hanging on your answer. So: When?!”

“Last…. Thursday, was it?” Alex thought out loud, looking at Jim unsure.

“Wednesday.” Jim corrected, shaking his head.

“Wednesday.” Alex confirmed.

Alvarez rolled his eyes. “Couldn’t have waited one more week, could you?” He took out his wallet and handed Alex 200$. “Give that to Bullock. I gotta go.”

“Upped the stakes a bit, huh?” Alex muttered, stuffing the money into her back pocket and leaning on the banister to look down over the main floor where the commotion was slowly dissipating.

“He’s never gonna see that money, right?” Jim muttered, joining her.

Alex grimaced. “Probably not. I mean… he’s been betting on us, so it’s as much ours as it’s his,” she grinned. “How about I invite you to dinner.”

As if on cue, Harvey turned to look up at them. He looked about done with the day… and with life in general. “You better get a table for three! And bottomless booze…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote the scene with Phil a bit different in the beginning, but figured it was too silly to put in the story. Jim would never have that... But I liked the scene, so there it is, as kind of a blooper or whatever ;) 
> 
> “Why is Phil here?” Jim muttered.   
> Alex drowsily rubbed her eyes. It was barely light outside. “What?”   
> “Phil… Why is he here?” Jim slowly repeated.  
> Alex groaned and turned to her other side. It was much too early to think. Her hand landed on somebody. Somebody much bonier than Jim. That woke her right up. “Phil?” she sat up. “What are you doing in bed?” She shook him, gently at first, then, when he didn’t react, not so gently.   
> Phil slapped her hand away.   
> “What are you doing in bed?” she repeated.   
> “You looked so comfy… I wanted in,” he answered, pulling the blanket over his head.   
> Alex groaned and turned back so she faced Jim. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and moved so she lay against his chest.   
> “I think at this point I’m too tired to care.”


	10. Fancy Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce Wayne invites the dynamic trio for a fancy dinner.   
> Alex meets Selina Kyle  
> Alfred is being a bit of an ass  
> Some fluff, some dumb jokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't plan to make such an ass out of Alfred. He's one of my fav characters on the series, but he somehow... just didn't want to play nice!

Once Bruce Wayne heard about Harvey’s promotion he renewed his invitation to the Manor. Celebrations were in order after all. Harvey still wasn’t too happy with his new position, but could hardly refuse on account of that.

Harvey agreed to Dinner under the condition Alex bring dessert. The Brooks family chocolate cake (and bucket loads of expensive Champagne) was about the only thing that made a celebration seem worthwhile to him.

Alex’s stove was broken and Jim’s kitchen wasn’t equipped for baking so Alex had gone to Harvey’s place while he and Jim were still working. Harvey would pick her up after work and they’d go straight to the Manor from there.   
Against all odds, Alex was a competent baker. Her mother had insisted to teach all her daughters how to bake and even though she’d been pretty far gone by the time Alex was old enough to do more than lick the spoon, she’d managed to show her a few recipes in her rare clear moments; her famous chocolate cake, among them.   
The cake wasn’t anything special at all, but ever since she could think, Alex had always made it for special occasions. It reminded both of them of better times.

+++

Alex hadn’t been entirely sure what to wear for the occasion, but since they’d been assured there wouldn’t be any other guests attending, she’d opted for a pair of black skinny jeans, flats and t-shirt.   
She’d managed to stay mostly clean while baking. The same couldn’t be said about the kitchen. It was utter chaos.

“What are you doing to my kitchen?” Harvey shouted.

Alex turned around, wiping her hands on her apron, “baking.”

“It looks like a bomb exploded in here!” Egg shells, butter and milk were out on the counter, mixed through with packets of flour and sugar and a flour-dusted can of beer. Splatters of batter decorated everything including part of the walls.

“That’s part of my process and you know it!” She put her hands on her hips defensively.

Harvey himself was no neat freak by any means but even he seemed to have his breaking point. Annoyed, he started cleaning up the mess Alex had made, even went as far as wiping the walls while Alex sat down with her beer, watching him. “That’s a nice change of scenery… you cleaning and me watching! How does it feel?”

“Like you’ll never bake here again,” he said without turning around.

“Too bad… so you mean THIS won’t ever happen again either?” she said, lifting a bowl she’d put over a small cake. “Cuz I made it especially for you, Captain Bullock!” she grinned and lit the small sparkler she’d put on top of it.

Harvey slowly turned around and the frown on his face disappeared. “How am I supposed to be annoyed with you when you do stuff like that?”

“Easy solution: Don’t!”

Harvey cut a small piece from the cake, careful not to disturb the sparkler, and stuffed it in his mouth, closing his eyes as he savored the taste. “Tastes just like your mothers’”, he sighed. “Reminds me of those days in summer, BBQ in the back yard, sun shining, birds twittering, you and your siblings falling over each other in your rush to tell me about school…”

Alex snorted and took a piece of cake herself after gingerly pulling out the now burnt-out sparkler. “I remember your birthdays though… You and me, sitting over there, drinking, talking, watching those stupid Crocodile Dundee movies you love so much…” Alex laughed. “Come on, let’s get going.” She took the cake tray and put on her jacket.

“Those movies aren’t stupid. They’re classics!” Harvey corrected her, reaching for his hat.

“Yea, keep telling yourself that.” Alex teased.

Harvey shot her a glance and wordlessly slapped his hat onto his head. He ushered her out the door and locked up behind them.

+++

Jim’s shoulder had healed enough so he could drive again. He’d meet them at the manor, which gave Alex and Harvey some much needed time to catch up. His new job kept him much too busy for Alex’s liking.

“Hey remember that woman you told me about? Any news? When can I meet her?” Alex asked, slowly walking down the stairs before Harvey.

“Ah, forget about her… she demanded I stop drinking…” Harvey muttered, “that ain’t gonna happen.”

“Ugh!” Alex made. “She might as well have asked you to stop being a cop.”

“Yea, she asked me to do that too… Because she’d constantly be worrying about me!” Harvey said, mockingly imitating a female voice.

“I mean… she’s right. One tends to worry, but… being a cop” she shrugged, half turning backwards to look at him “it’s part of who you are!”

“Hate to admit this, but you’re right.”

+++

The road to the Manor was blocked by an intricate iron wrought gate. Harvey stopped the car and reached through the window to push the buzzer.

Behind the gate the driveway wound through a beautifully kept garden, evenly growing grass, flowerbeds in all imaginable colors, perfectly cut hedges. Alex regretted it was almost dark. She’d have loved to see the garden in daylight. Keeping it must be a full time job. Was it impolite to ask someone how many people they employed? Or if they were hiring?

Jim’s car was already there and Harvey parked directly behind it, in front of the steps to the entryway. Alex felt very underdressed in her jeans and T-shirt as she walked up the marble stairs, but then she’d probably have felt underdressed wearing an evening robe. The house was even more beautiful from up close than it was from down in the city.

The door opened as they approached and Alfred, the Butler let them in and took their outerwear. “May I offer my congratulations, Captain Bullock?” he said. “The GCPD will not be the same under your command.”

“You might be right about that.” Harvey agreed. “Good thing it won’t be for long, eh?”

Alex said nothing. She was overwhelmed with the interior to the point of speechlessness. She didn’t know where to look first.   
To say the house was majestic would be an understatement. She felt thrown into another decade. A decade when grandeur had still meant something. A decade before Gotham had fallen to the lows it was at now. Everything looked expensive, yet tasteful. Oil paintings on the wall of family members long gone, statues of Greek gods and knight’s armor in the corridors; Alex wondered if there was a painting of Bruce hidden away somewhere. He was the last of the Wayne Family after all, the Head of the Wayne Family even. Alex didn’t want to imagine the kind of pressure this put him under. For once she was glad she had five siblings to share the burden her mother had become.

“I bet I could pay a few years’ rent from what that painting is worth…” Alex muttered to Harvey as she stopped in front of a huge oil painting depicting a battle scene of some kind, staring at it, mouth wide open.

“More like buy a couple nice cars, I think…” Harvey chuckled, “or a few lifetimes worth of booze.”

“Or that bar you’ve been dreaming about,” Alex added, elbowing him.

Alfred, had stopped as well. “This is an original Altdorfer, all your estimates summed up are probably about right,” he expertly commented.

+++

The lights in the Dining room were low, huge candlesticks in the middle of the shiny mahogany inlay table gave the room a warm, comfortable feeling. Classic music playing in the background matched the old-timey interior. Alex imagined a record player hidden somewhere even though the music was probably coming from an iPod.

Bruce and Jim, deep in conversation, entered from another door just as Alex and Harvey came in. Bruce was dressed in a black turtleneck sweater and grey pants. The dark clothes made his already pale skin look even lighter.

“Captain Bullock, so glad you could make it! Congratulations!” Bruce said, walking towards Harvey to enthusiastically shake his hand.

Jim found Alex’s gaze and his eyes lit up. Alex felt a small smile tug at her lips. They had woken up together this morning, only a few hours ago, but she had to admit she had really, actually missed him. Damn, being in love was awfully kitschy.

The couple took the chairs on the right side of the table, sitting down next to each other. Harvey sat opposite of Jim. The table was set with more glasses and cutlery than Alex was comfortable with.

“I invited another friend of mine. I hope you don’t mind,” Bruce, sitting at the head of the table, said, motioning to the empty setting to Harvey’s left.

Alfred had vanished into the kitchen with Alex’s cake.  
“Miss Kyle has arrived,” he announced, coming back in, followed by a girl about Bruce’s age. “As usual, she didn’t bother using the front door,” he added, one eyebrow raised disapprovingly.

“Selina!” Bruce exclaimed, marching towards her. He stopped short before touching her, unsure what to do exactly.

Alex had to fight back a grin. Seemed like he was in love. How cute was that?

“You didn’t tell me you’d be inviting me into a nest of Cops!” the girl said, looking at Harvey and Jim.

“Selina, so nice to see you too,” Jim greeted her sarcastically.

“Cat,” Harvey tipped his imaginary hat. They all seemed civil enough, despite their obvious dislike.

“Selina, this is Alex. Alex, Selina.” Bruce introduced the two females, ignoring the younger one’s snark remark.

“I like your shirt,” Selina said after giving Alex a once over.

Alex looked down at herself. The shirt had a black and yellow bat logo printed on the grey fabric. She’d gotten it from goodwill a few months ago. “Thanks… I was worried I’d underdressed for the occasion.”

“Pff…” Selina waved her off. “Compared to that one, everyone else is underdressed all the time,” she said, motioning at Alfred who stood up straighter, showing off his perfectly tailored livery including waistcoat. “You get used to it,” she shrugged.

Selina herself was in leather from head to toe. The outfit made her look more dangerous than she probably was. Like a crook in the making. It would have suited an adult woman much better but Alex didn’t want to judge. Her curly hair held in place by a pair of goggles atop her head, framed her round face in the most perfectly imperfect way possible. Alex saw what Bruce saw in her. She was cute… and she seemed smart as well… and mysterious.

The conversation remained civil. Selina didn’t seem to be too happy with Harvey and Jim but Alex did her best to have everyone get along, intercepting with a silly joke when things got tense. She was good at that, had always been. There had been more than enough occasions to practice at her mothers’ house.

The food was a fancy affair, with Smoked Salmon as a starter, a salad course, Pork Chops with Fig and Grape sauce as a main course, a cheese plate and… Alex’s homemade chocolate cake with a side of fruit. Every course came with the matching wine pairing. Alex could hardly believe Alfred had done all that on his own. She found it incredible and told him so on multiple occasions.

Selina barely touched her food except for poking around in it with whatever fork she got into her fingers. Only when Alfred brought the chocolate cake, did her face light up. “More of that, please!” she ordered, wolfing down the cake seemingly without chewing.

Alex had, of course, eaten everything. Free food was her favorite! She could barely move once the last plate was cleared away. If she’d been home, she’d have popped the button of her jeans. She cursed herself for not wearing a dress. That would have been much more comfortable and more fitting to the occasion on top of that.

She excused herself to go to the ladies room, which did NOT disappoint, of course.   
It was a full bathroom including a huge bathtub with massage jets. Alex sighed at the displayed richesse. She couldn’t stop herself from climbing into the tub and stretch as she imagined herself having a bath, a few candles on the edge, a glass of champagne in her hand.   
She could afford to chill in the empty tub for a little while. Softly humming to herself, letting her fingers glide over the smooth surface of the edge, she closed her eyes.

“What are you doing?” Jim suddenly said. He sat on the edge of the tub, reaching for her.

Alex startled. She hadn’t noticed him come inside. “Come in, the water’s perfect.” Their fingers intertwined of their own accord.

“I didn’t think you of all people would be able to get drunk on a few glasses of wine.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Come on, indulge with me!” She pulled on his arm, almost making him topple over.

“Careful!” he muttered but climbed into the tub with her anyways. It was big enough to comfortably fit the two of them. Hell, it would have comfortably fitted a third and forth as well.

Alex snuggled up to him, pulling his arm around her. “How do you like the saffron-lavender scented bubble bath with diamond dust? Is it good, or too much?”

“You’re not supposed to use bubble bath with massage jets,” Jim smartassed.

Alex met his eyes as she reached for an imaginary bottle of bubble bath and poured an imaginary amount of it into the tub. She took her time putting it to the side again and made a show of pushing the buttons that would probably turn on the jets if the tub was filled. “Oh nooo! We’re drowning in bubbles! What a way to die!” she laughed, climbing on top of him. “Save me from my own mistakes oh mighty Jim!”

Jim couldn’t hide a little smile as he pulled her down for a kiss.

Someone cleared their throat behind them before the kiss could become anything more. Bummer.

Alex sat up and slowly turned towards the noise, a broad, fake grin plastered on her face.

“We were starting to worry you got lost, Miss Brooks, Detective.” Alfred said, raising an eyebrow at them.

“Yea I…“ Alex let her eyes wander around the room as she searched for a lie. “I fell into the tub and Jim wanted to try to get me out but he fell in as well,” she settled on, laughing as she climbed out of the tub. “Sorry,” she muttered, eyes downcast, but still grinning like an idiot.

They followed Alfred out of the room, Jim’s hand at the small of her back, the man himself back to being all earnest and serious. Alex froze when he kissed the back of her neck before they entered the Dining room again. The small touch made her tingle from her toes up to the top of her head. She felt flustered, did she look flustered?

“Miss Brooks got lost in the house.” Alfred explained, leading them back inside. He didn’t seem to have noticed their small moment.

“Of course… I forgot I promised you a tour!” Bruce enthusiastically took the bait. He seemed pretty chill with people getting “lost” inside his house. And no wonder, with the sheer size of it he probably got lost himself sometimes.

“Yes, but I’d much rather see everything in daylight, if you don’t mind. The garden must be beautiful when it’s light. And the house… I’ve never been in such a nice house before!” Alex truthfully said.

“Where do you live, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“In the East End District, Holland Drive.”

“Don’t tell me you live in that dump with the huge Questionmark Graffiti on it” Selina chimed in.

“Nah… I live in the building opposite that! Well… used to live… nowadays I mostly…” Alex cut herself off.

“And you actually pay rent to live there?” Selina continued.

“Yea,” Alex shrugged.

Selina made a very ungirly snort. “Sorry, I just…. Do they give out like… keys or just boards with a nail on it so you can defend yourself?”

“I have a key… but I… don’t really have a door these days.” Alex muttered. She couldn’t hold back a small chuckle herself at hearing the words spoken out loud. It must sound ridiculous to anyone who didn’t know the story.

“Where are you staying then?” Bruce saved her, not probing any further about her door-less situation.

Jim cleared his throat. “She’s staying with me.”

“Oh, so you are… I didn’t realize!” Bruce’s eyes went wide. He glanced at Selina once and then back between Jim and Alex a few times.

“It’s all still very fresh,” Jim explained.

Harvey snorted. “Please… they’ve been dancing around each other for months… I’m just glad they finally realized they’re made for each other. Young love, am I right, Alfred?” Harvey lifted his glass towards the Butler who was silently standing to the side. “Like watching a soap opera played out just for your entertainment.”

“I have to admit, I fail to find it very entertaining.” Alfred said, going around and refilling everyone’s glasses once more. “But of course, it’s always a pleasure to see two lone souls find each other, however unfit they may seem.”

Alex blinked. Had Alfred just insulted her and Jim’s… whatever you want to call it?

She looked at Jim. He didn’t seem to be bothered, but then, his pokerface, if he chose to put it on, was legendary.

She frowned at Harvey over the table. He was occupied with emptying his glass. So fucking helpful! Alex rolled her eyes.

+++

“How dare he dislike me?” Alex asked Jim, once they were in the car. “I’m a fucking delight!”

“Who, Bruce?”

“No, Alfred! He said I was unfit for you! Unfit! Didn’t you hear?”

“I think he was talking about Bruce and Selina, calm down,” Jim muttered, eyes never moving from the road.

“Didn’t feel that way… The fight is on, Mister Butler.”

Jim looked at her before quickly focusing on the road again. “Believe me when I say: You do NOT want to be on this Butler’s wrong side.”

“But he…”

“Just don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The painting I had in mind when Alex is staring at in the Manor is Albrecht Altdorfer, The Battle of Alexander at Issus, 1529 It's sooooo pretty!!!   
> I was too lazy to google how much it is really worth, but I'd bet its a lot, so Harvey and Alex are probably right!


	11. Cohabitation Escalation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living together is harder than Jim and Alex originally thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is probably a little OOC for Jim, but I had such fun writing this chapter, I think it's fucking perfect and absolutely hilarious.  
> Also: That guy in the cell... he's from Watchdogs... I love him and my bff and I always thought Alex and him would hit it off pretty good, so I had them meet!

Living with Jim, in a flat where things actually worked, was something else. It took some getting used to living with someone, but two weeks into staying together, Alex was content they were doing fine.

It had taken her all of two tours to get her clothes and the few valuables she owned from her place to his. She had promised Jim to cancel her lease, but did in fact not plan on doing such a thing. Instead, she’d put her key and a note that said “thanks for nothing, see you never” on the worn down couch table and simply left to never come back. Her landlord would notice she was gone as soon as she stopped paying her rent. In a way, that was like cancelling the lease, right? So she hadn’t even technically lied to Jim.

+++

Jim came home from work to find Alex napping on the sofa, surrounded by most of her stuff, everything out and evenly distributed around her, cuddling an empty bottle of wine.

She stirred when she noticed him approach and the bottle dropped on the ground and broke with a clatter. That woke her up for real and she sat up, crossing her legs on the sofa she wouldn’t touch the ground.

“Hey there… how was work? Another hard day of saving the city?” she muttered, getting on her knees on the sofa to get a better look at him.

“Don’t ask…” he muttered, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it over the back of a chair.

“That bad?” she climbed over the backrest and padded towards him on bare feet to wrap her arms around him from behind.

He remained still, his hands propped on the chair.

Alex got up on tiptoe and kissed the back of his neck, letting her lips linger. She loved how sensitive he was in that spot.

“Not… today…” he sighed, carefully freeing himself from her embrace. His gaze focused on unbuttoning his shirt, not even sparing her a glance, he moved towards the bathroom and closed the door in her face, before she could follow him. Alright, that was new. Should she call Harvey to ask what had happened? Nah… If work hat put Jim in such a mood, Harvey was probably drunk already. They could always talk tomorrow.

Alex went back to the sofa and picked up the broken bottle, collecting all the smaller shards in the biggest one and putting everything on the table before she sat down again. She’d worked a job yesterday that had taken up most of the night and still felt like she needed to sleep for another week, so she lay down again and tried to do just that. The sound of the shower served as a welcome white noise to lull her back to a light snooze. Whatever had put Jim in such a mood, she hoped some hot water would wash away his troubles.

The bathroom door opening ten minutes later woke her again. The smell of shampoo and soap filled the room as a cloud of steam emerged with Jim. Alex looked up for just a moment before lying down again. He still looked tense… as far as a man who wore nothing but a towel around his hips could look tense.   
It took a lot of control for Alex not to reach out for him when he bent over her to take the broken bottle from the table and wordlessly took it to the trashcan, but she had a feeling trying anything now wouldn’t end good. The tension he radiated was almost palpable. It made Alex’s skin prickle. She rubbed her arms trying to get rid of the feeling.

Jim, still not saying anything, moved towards the window to let out the steamy air… and froze.

“Did you smoke in here?” he muttered, motioning at the stubs in the potted plant on the windowsill. His voice was oddly void of emotion.

“Umm… no… Phil did.” Alex slowly sat up and pulled her knees up. She felt oddly reminded of her childhood.

“When was Phil here?”

“That one night… when you were out to catch Barnes, remember?”

Jim nodded. “Tell him not to use my plant as an ashtray next time he comes over.” He gingerly picked the stubs out one by one and grimaced. “And tell him not to bring illegal substances into my house.”

“Sorry, yea I will.” Alex slowly got up and took the stubs from him to dispose them out the window, stepping closer to him than was strictly necessary. His behavior was scary. She needed comfort, preferably coming from him.

Jim stared at her.

“What?” she muttered, looking up at him. Alright, this wasn’t going how she’d imagined.

“The street is not your trashcan!”

“Jeez, I’m sorry! Who are you, the trash police?”

He grimaced at her wordlessly.

“Yes, I know… crime is crime… I’m sorry…” she rolled her eyes and wiped her hands on her pants before trying once more. Hugging him, she allowed herself to revel in the feeling of his smooth, damp skin under her fingers. “I’m sorry for not being a perfect law abiding citizen. I thought that was part of my charm?”

“It will one day be the death of me,” Jim sighed. He reluctantly hugged her back. Finally they were going in the right direction!

“Well… I could beg you to not be mad at me… on my knees if you want… while you’re not wearing any pants,” Alex offered, slowly kissing away a drop of water from his collarbone.

“Some other time… I’m tired,” he muttered, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

+++

As it turned out, living with Jim was much harder than Alex had expected. Neither of them wanted to admit it, but despite their mutual attraction, they were polar opposites in pretty much every other aspect.

Jim was a notorious early riser. Alex liked to sleep in to almost ungodly hours and did so whenever possible. This per se wouldn’t have been a problem… if it had been the only problem they had.

Jim’s place hadn’t just been tidy because he was barely home. It was tidy because he needed order after the crazy stuff he dealed with every day at his job.

Alex didn’t give a shit about order. She had to make things tidy every day at her job and wanted to relax when she got home.

“At least try not immediately spreading chaos wherever you go, I’m begging you!” Jim ranted, picking up a dirty shirt from the floor and disposing of it in the laundry.

“Begging? Huh? Could you do that on your knees? While I’m not wearing any panties? And like…. let’s see where things go from there?” She wasn’t the best with conflict situations and humor and flirting was her preferred coping mechanism. Too bad it only worked about half the times with Jim.

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night,” he sarcastically answered.

“Do you even realize how ridiculous you sound? Why does it even matter where I put my clothes? I’ll put them on again tomorrow!”

“I’m not gonna talk about that now. Let’s go. The reservation is at 8.”

Alex rolled her eyes and reached for her jacket as he ushered her towards the door.

+++

“I just don’t get how it can bother you so much whether or not there’s stuff on the floor. I mean… it’s my stuff. Just step on it, I don’t care!” Alex muttered once they were outside on the street, her attention focused wholly on him.

He stopped.

She didn’t. “Whatever,” she muttered, not even noticing she’d crossed the road at a red streetlight. Not until Jim caught up with her.

“That’s it,” he said.

“What’s what?”

“You’re under arrest,” he grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her towards his car. He wasn’t exactly rough, but he definitely wasn’t as gentle as Alex was used to. “You have the right to remain silent and I urge you to make liberal use of it.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

They reached the car, Jim still holding on to her elbow. Alex reached for the passenger side door out of sheer habit.

Jim let her open it, but stopped her from entering. Holding on to her elbow with one hand, he reached into the glove compartment with the other and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

“Umm…” Alex blinked at him as he cuffed her and maneuvered her into the back seat with practiced movements. “What the fuck?”

“You jaywalked.”

“And you’re arresting me up for that?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“Are you out of your mind?”

He got into the driver’s seat and started the car. “Everything you say can and will be held against you.”

+++

By the time they’d reached the Precinct, because yes, he really was taking her there, Alex had found her bearings again. If he wanted to be an ass, he was welcome to try.

“Hey Jim…” she said when he drove into the parking lot, trying once more to get him to calm down. “I know a lot of fun stuff we could do in the backseat. I don’t even need to use my hands for most of it, if you’re firm on the cuff thing. I can make it work!”

He stoically ignored her, taking his time to park the car.

Alex, slowly realizing he was really serious, looked around the parking lot, hoping to find Harvey’s beat up puke-brown Buick. Harvey was about the only person she’d trust to talk some sense into Jim in this moment. The car wasn’t there though. Her only hope had left the building.

Jim wordlessly got out of the car and opened the door for her.

“So you really want do this by the book?” Alex muttered, climbing out of the car. “Because I’m pretty sure I get a phone call.”

“Yea… tomorrow. Tonight you’ll stay here. I need some peace and quiet.”

That made Alex stop in her tracks. “You know, if you didn’t want me to stay with you, you could have told me. I asked you like a million times! And if you need peace and quiet, you could have told me as well. Is this really how you want to deal with our problems? Because you’re acting like an absolute ass.” She very much wanted to put her hands on her hips as she spoke but the handcuffs restricted her movements and she had to make do with awkwardly half crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Jim wasn’t impressed with her words anyways. He pulled her into the building and didn’t stop until they encountered the first uniformed Officer. “Lock her up,” Jim ordered.

Officer Johnsson looked at Alex, then at Jim, then at Alex again, before he reluctantly reached for her elbow. “You sure, Detective?”

“Yea, he’s sure. He’s a fucking ass, trying to solve his problems by locking them away!” Alex raged and broke loose from Jim’s grasp. “Get your hands off of me, I know the way on my own! Which cell do you want me in, Detective Gordon?” she shouted, turning back to her so called boyfriend, walking through the corridor backwards, accompanied by the confused Johnsson.

Jim didn’t move, his face carefully neutral.

Shaking her head, Alex spit on the ground in his direction and turned so she walked forwards again. Jim could kiss her ass.

+++

Johnsson put her in cell 3.   
Two other people sat on the bench in the very back, one on each end. Great. She couldn’t even have a corner spot.

The right one was a huge guy, at the very edge between fat and muscled, bald. He wore a stained whitish wife beater that showed off his tanned skin. How he had managed getting a tan, living in Gotham was a mystery Alex didn’t care to find out. She was much too mad.

The guy on the left side was the polar opposite: skinny, pale with dirtyish blond hair in desperate need of a cut and wearing more studs on his clothes than seemed save.

He looked up at her for only a second when she was pushed into the cell, but she’d recognize that mask and neck tattoo anywhere. “I know you!” she said before she remembered where she knew him from.   
He’d been at the lineup weeks ago… She had seen him, but he hadn’t seen her.

“Yea? Can’t say the same about you,” he muttered, his voice oddly distorted by the mask he wore.

The other guy looked at her for the briefest of moments before he went back to cleaning his fingernails with his teeth. Under other circumstances Alex would have told him he was being disgusting, but she figured if Jim really planned on having her spend the night in this cell, it probably wasn’t the best of ideas to antagonize her cellmates.

“Yea, the mask is kinda memorable,” Alex said, “probably more so than my boring old face, huh?” She slowly sat down on the ground so she could lean against the bars. Sitting between two criminals, even though there were a few Cops in plain view from them, didn’t seem like a smart idea. She’d lost her trust in the GCPD about half an hour ago.

“That rack is kinda memorable too though,” Mask replied, his LED Display switching from a bored x.x to O.O for just a second.

Alex looked down at herself. She had dressed for a nice evening with Jim before they’d had their fight. She loved the low cut top she wore, but if she’d known she’d end the day in prison, she’d have worn something else. Self-consciously, she wrapped her jacket tighter around herself and crossed her arms to keep it closed.

“Man, I’m sorry… it’s probably scary enough having to be in here with two strange guys without them commenting on your body… I didn’t mean it. I mean, I did, but I…” he stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “I’m Wrench and I’m… not a pervert… unless asked to be,” his display went ~.^ and back to x.x. Had he just winked at her? Was he flirting? It was kinda hard to tell with the mask.

He slowly got up from the bench and sat down on the ground next to her. “So, what you in for?”

Alex rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

Wrench shrugged. “Try me.”

Alex looked at him, trying to figure out how much information she wanted to give him before deciding she didn’t give a shit. “Being in a relationship with an ass… and… Jaywalking.”

The display on his mask switched to o.O, then to ?.? The big guy in the corner stopped his manicure and looked at her as well.

“Don’t ask…” Alex waved them both off. It probably wasn’t very smart to make friends with a couple guys she’d met in a prison cell. And the big guy had a really scary vibe about him. She didn’t want him to know anything about her. Wrench seemed nice enough though. Trustworthy even. She decided to ignore the other guy and focus on him instead. She’d rather have him on her side, if the big guy decided to try anything. “What about you?”

Wrench shrugged. “Blowing shit up, you know how it is…”

“I actually don’t, tell me more!”

“Nah… that’s boring! Tell me about your relationship! Who’s the guy? Do you need me to beat him up once I’m outta here? I would totally do that, but… I don’t know how much longer they’re gonna hold me up…”

“Nah… I’m not some damsel in distress. I can hold my own,” she muttered, “I guess he was just pissed about something and… you know how men are…”

“Yea, men are fucking pigs!”

They talked for what felt like hours. Only a skeleton crew of Cops remained outside, overseeing the inmates of the three holding cells. No one bothered with bringing them any food or water or blankets. The big guy had lain down on the bench, even though it was barely broad enough for him, hugging himself, snoring loudly.

Alex was glad she’d taken her jacket. The cold from the floor slowly seeped into her body. She hugged herself as well, huddling into the very corner.

Wrench lay on his back on the dirty ground. He didn’t seem to mind being locked up at all, just kept on talking happily. How many of his stories were true and how many were made up Alex wasn’t sure. She didn’t care. She liked him. She actually liked him more than Jim at that very moment.

+++

Jim’s POV

Despite craving solitude and quiet only hours ago, Jim felt awfully alone in the apartment. Cleaning up Alex’s chaos had taken him all of ten minutes. He felt stupid now, arresting her for seemingly nothing, but he’d had an awful day at work and coming home to her, watching TV while his flat… their flat, he corrected himself, was in chaos had been the figurative straw that broke the camel’s back.

More than once he had to stop himself from going to get her home or calling at the precinct to tell them to let her go.

If he went in there now, he’d lose all credibility, both in front of her and in front of his coworkers. And she’d probably refuse to go home with him anyways. No, he was better off leaving her where she was for the night and taking her home in the morning. They should probably talk. Yes, they’d talk. Tomorrow.

+++

Harvey’s POV – the next morning

Waking up with a colossal headache after a much too short night of light sleep and messed up dreams was not how Harvey had wanted to start the day. But here he was, starting the day in the same manner he had started most of his days since he’d taken over as Captain.

“Morning…” he bellowed at the last of the night- and first of the dayshift, holding on to his coffee as if his life depended on it. And if his pounding headache was any indication, it might as well.   
It was much too early for his liking but he had to be at the office early. There was work to do, papers to sign, cases to allocate, captives to process. The job of being Captain, on top of doing most of his duties as a Detective was taking its toll on him, there was no denying it.   
It was even coming so far he started seeing things.

His mind must be playing games with him. He was so tired and hungover, he saw Alex on the ground in cell 3, huddled into the corner, next to a skinny punk guy.

He made an extra round through the main floor so he could pass by the cells once more to convince his sleepy, clouded brain that this was not, in fact, Alex.  
He stopped front of cell 3. He took a good look at the woman. He closed his eyes and opened them again.

This was impossible.

It definitely was Alex.

“Johnsson!” he barked. “Who brought her in?”

Johnsson got up from his desk and diligently scuttled towards Harvey.

“Umm… Detective Gordon brought her here, around 8, last night.”

Harvey closed his eyes for a second. His headache made it hard to concentrate. Johnssons words made no sense. “Come again?” he muttered, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

“Detective Gordon… he told me to lock her up for the night. He seemed pretty pissed,” Officer Johnsson repeated, nervously looking at the clipboard that was supposed to hold captives’ paperwork. The form was empty, except for the name.

“Throw that away and get her out of there,” Harvey ordered.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Alex!” Harvey shouted, poking her through the bars while he waited for the keys. Alex had always been a heavy sleeper. At this hour, nothing short of a bucket of coffee would get her to open her eyes.

Johnsson came back and unlocked the door.

Harvey stepped inside the cell and crouched down next to Alex, gently shaking her. “Wakey wakey.”

Alex groaned and slapped his hand away without opening her eyes.

“Alex! I got coffee!” Harvey tried again, holding his cup under her nose. This got her attention. She slowly opened her eyes and confusedly looked around the cell before she focused on him.

He could practically see the gears in her head starting to turn as she slowly woke up. Getting to his feet, he held his hand out for her to help her up from the ground.

Alex sleepily took it and let him pull her to her feet.

“What happened?” he asked, leading her out of the cell and making sure Johnsson locked up behind them.

“I…” she rubbed her eyes sleepily, blinking at him a few times.

He handed her his coffee and she greedily took a sip.

They walked through the main floor and into his office. There was a leather sofa in the corner, sat through by too many visitors but still more comfortable than the bare concrete ground in the cells.

Alex plopped down and slowly dropped to the side.

“What happened?” Harvey repeated, patiently sitting down in his chair.

“Ask Jim…” she muttered, making herself comfortable, punching the cushions until they had the shape she wanted.

“I will, once he gets in.”

“Good… make sure you do it while I’m here, because I honestly don’t know what came over him. Fucking ass!”

+++

Jim came in half an hour later. Harvey heard him before he saw him.

“Where’s Alex?” JIm shouted. The last of the nightshift, including Johnsson, had left. No one seemed to know what he was talking about.

Harvey glanced at the sleeping Alex as he walked towards the door. She had pulled her feet up and was mostly covered by his jacket, her mouth hanging open slightly, drooling onto the cushions. Despite being all grown up, she reminded him of his little girl in that moment, completely trusting him to take care of her.

He took his time to open the door to his office, watching Jim through the windows as he inspected each of the cells, searching for Alex. Let him worry for a few moments longer.

“Jim! A word!” he finally called, leaving the door open for his partner.

Jim hurried into his office, closing the door behind him. “I haven’t got long, Harv. I need to find Alex.”

Harvey motioned at the sleeping Alex on his sofa, closely watching Jim’s facial expression.

“Johnsson said you brought her in last night? Anything you want to tell me about that, buddy?” he said, slowly sitting down in his chair again.

Jim took a deep breath and pushed his hand through his hair. He had foregone the styling today, Harvey noticed. He was also here much earlier than usual. Interesting.

“Nope. Just let me take her home,” Jim courtly said.

Alex stirred and slowly opened her eyes, smacking her lips, she wiped her face with her hands. She stopped moving when her gaze fell on Jim.

+++

Alex’s POV

There he was, the traitor, the madman, the man she fucking loved, standing in Harvey’s office without a care in the world. Well, maybe he cared a little. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes were heavier and more pronounced than usual. He hadn’t shaved. His hair was free of gel for once. She liked it when it was like that, all soft and…. No. She couldn’t lose herself in that line of thought now.

“Here to pick me up or what?” she muttered, slowly sitting up, trying to stare him down.

“I’m sorry.”

“You better be! That was fucking unnecessary! You know how uncomfortable those cells are? Holding people in there is inhumane! There’s no beds, did you ever notice?” She stopped and turned towards Harvey. “There’s no beds in those cells, Harvey! Not even blankets! You can’t hold people in there over night!” She turned back to Jim. “No fucking blankets! I had to sleep on the ground, you ass! With two strange men in the same cell! I could have been… violated! My nose WAS violated! That dude in cell 2 should probably get to a hospital. There’s something wrong with his digestion!”

“I’m sorry. Are you alright?” Jim slowly said once she was done with her tirade.

“Do you even care?” Alex put Harvey’s jacket to the side and felt his flask in the inside pocket. She took it out and took a deep swig before she got up.

Jim took a step towards her, reaching for her.

She retreated behind Harvey, out of Jim’s reach. “Don’t touch me! I’m mad as hell!”

“What the heck happened between you idiots?” Harvey said, getting up and shielding Alex. “I can’t believe I’m asking this, but did he hurt you? Please tell me he didn’t!” he continued, looking over his shoulder to face Alex.

“Physically: no, emotionally: very much!”

“We had a fight. I might have overreacted a little.” Jim admitted.

“A little? Then what are you going to do if you overreact a lot? Bring me to Arkham?” Alex hissed from behind Harvey.

“Look, I apologized. Can we talk at home? We don’t need an audience!”

Alex shook her head. “Nu-uh! Talk now or never!”

“I had a shit day at the job and I let it out on you. Please let me make it up to you.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” No one could say she wasn’t willing to forgive him, idiotic as that might be.

Jim hesitated and took a deep breath, before he continued, “How about on my knees, while you’re not wearing any pants?” It visibly pained him to repeat her words from last night, in front of Harvey especially.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “So now you like my ideas, all of a sudden?”

“Like is kind of a strong word…” Jim said.

Alex raised her eyebrows at him. “Careful. We’re not made up yet.”

Jim helplessly looked at Harvey.

“Don’t look at me like that! I’m fully in her boat on this! You can’t arrest people however you please, brother.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute! That was worst apology ever, just so you know!” Alex muttered, finally stepping out from behind Harvey. “Take me home. I’m crazy tired and I need a shower. We’ll talk about the pantsless begging after that...”

“Please discuss the exact conditions at home or really anywhere I don’t have to hear.” Harvey said, ushering them towards the door.

They were almost outside when Alex stopped once more. “Hey Harvey? That guy in cell 3… the skinny one with the mask… can you make sure your people go easy on him? He is nice! I don’t know what he really did, but… he’s not a bad guy… I think…”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Harvey said.


	12. Venus reincarnate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Alex make up. Some fluff, some work, a meeting with an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this one is mostly from Jim's POV, because I feel I haven't really shown what he likes about Alex until now.... so here you have it.

They did, in fact, really talk after their… episode. Well, Alex did most of the talking, since Jim’s communication skills outside of an interrogation cell were notoriously bad.

Alex promised to do better in the future. She tried really hard to work around Jim’s kinks and quirks and even went so far as using the laundry basket a sometimes.

Jim tried to do better as well, to not only have Alex live with him, but also to incorporate some of her relaxed manner in his own way of thinking.

They needed to give each other space to be their own person still on top of being a couple. Both were more than willing to put in the work it would take. It was worth it, after all.

+++

Jim’s POV

Jim had been awake for a few minutes, Alex was still sleeping, snuggled against him, her head on his shoulder, her hand on his naked chest. They had gone to bed early last night, but it had taken a few hours and a lot of exercise for both before they had finally gone to sleep. Young love and all.

He gently caressed her naked back and hip with the tips of fingers, tracing shapes on her skin. Her warm, soft body against his was more comforting than he cared to admit.

She stirred in her sleep and her arm snaked around his waist, pulling him closer, if that was even possible.

He’d been thinking a lot about what pulled him towards her over the past few days, since their altercation. Physically, it was obvious. She wasn’t the kind of beauty fashion magazines tried to sell, but he’d had that kind of beauty. And while there was nothing wrong with it, he had come to the realization he found curvy softness much more attractive than bony angles.

Emotionally, Alex couldn’t compare to his Ex either. Barbara had been of what would in the old times have been called good birth. She was as fake as all the others who made up Gotham’s Elite.   
Alex was real. Genuine. In fact, he couldn’t think of a more genuine person. She was easily amused. Her jokes were mostly dumb but he enjoyed how much joy making them brought her. She was mad as a hatter, the one thing she had in common with Barbara, but then, Alex, in comparison to Barbara didn’t walk around killing people. Alex couldn’t hurt a fly… probably.

The fact that Alex drunk like a sailor and had the mouth to match was a bit of a letdown, but he was very aware he wasn’t perfect either. And the more he learned about her past, the more he understood her urge to sometimes get blackout drunk.

Alex muttered something in her sleep and turned around so her back was to him. He rolled over as well so he could spoon her and bury his nose in her hair. Damn, she smelled divine. He had come to associate her scent with warmth and safety.   
Her butt fit against him perfectly. So perfectly in fact, he quickly felt himself go hard against her. Her wriggling her butt against him didn’t make things any… softer.   
He’d never had a woman who was so hungry for him before and hadn’t expected to find one at his age. He wasn’t as young as he used to be.

Alex pulled his arms tighter around her, snuggling into him as much as she could. He knew she loved waking up like this. She never failed to tell him whenever he did something she particularly enjoyed. Another thing he loved about her.

She moved his fingers to her mouth and gently kissed his knuckles, her lips soft against his skin. He’d gotten into a fistfight a few days ago, when one of their perps had tried to run, and still had the bruises to show it. Despite her having only just woken up, she remembered to be careful.

“How did you sleep?” he whispered, mouth close against her skin, pressing a soft kiss against her spine.

“Much too short… I bet it’s not even 10.”

“It’s not even 8,” he muttered.

“Then why am I awake?” she groaned, turning around so they faced each other, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. Her face was wrinkled from the pillow, her eyes heavy and puffy with sleep.

She moved towards him, hiding her face against his chest. He felt her press a soft kiss against his sternum. “Don’t wake me when you get up,” she muttered, settling down to sleep again. Her warm breath against his skin sent tingles all through his body.

He felt her tense when his phone rang on the nightstand.

“Don’t! We still have a few more minutes,” she moaned, holding on to him as he turned away from her, unwilling to let go just yet.

He managed to reach his phone despite her iron grip. Harvey. He wouldn’t call at this hour unless it was important. He knew Alex’s sleeping habits better than Jim.   
“Yes?” he answered, laying on his back, painfully aware of Alex’s movements next to him. He knew where she was going when her hand started wandering downwards. Still his breath hitched in his throat when she wrapped her fingers around him. The fingers of his free hand buried into her shoulder of their own accord.

He had to work hard to focus on Harvey’s words, Alex made sure of that. They were to investigate a crime scene in Robinson Park. A jogger had found a body in the early morning hours.

Alex clearly didn’t give a shit about crime scenes. Not at this hour. She obviously took great joy in distracting him. He could feel her smile against his chest before she got up on all fours and climbed downwards, her eyes locked on him.

“Oh god…” Jim muttered, when he felt her lips wrap around him.

“What is it, buddy?” Harvey interrupted his stream of instructions.

“Nothing… keep… keep going.” Jim said, not sure who he was talking to. He pressed his lips together, determined not to make another sound. Alex’s soft whimpers from under the comforter were bad enough. He hoped Harvey wouldn’t pick those up.

“I’ll meet you there in 20 minutes. Bring Alex. The scene is a bloody mess.” Harvey finished.

“Mhm” Jim pressed from between gritted teeth. “See… see you in 20…” He heard Alex’s muffled laughter under the blanket and she sped up her movements.

+++

Alex’s POV - 20 Minutes later

It was a rare sunny day in Gotham. Alex had debated staying in bed for a little while longer while the scene was processed, but figured she might as well get some coffee and enjoy the sunshine while she waited. She had been wide awake after their good morning exertions.

Harvey had said the scene was in a park. Alex hadn’t paid attention to which park, just followed Jim in her car and hoped for the best.   
Robinson Park was definitely NOT what she had hoped for. It was save enough by daylight, but weird stuff was said to happen there by night.

A team of Forensic Techs was already working, securing the scene, taking pictures. Jim gave her a quick, stubbly kiss and walked off. He’d had better things to do than shave, in the short 20 minutes Harvey had given him.

The scene was at the edge of a small cove of trees, still shrouded in shade. Shrubs hid the body from view. And good thing too. Blood and gore was all good and well, but not before coffee.

Ducking under the police line, Jim walked to join the investigation team. Alex just waved at Harvey from afar and sat down on a patch of grass in the sunshine, her coffee cup next to her. It would be an hour at least until she could get to work. She had sent Phil only a short text instead of calling him. He wouldn’t be of any use before 10 anyways. If she woke him up at this ungodly hour, she’d never hear the end of it.

She lay down on the cool grass, making a pillow with her arms under her head and closed her eyes. If it wasn’t for the voices of the investigation team and the sound of cars from the nearby streets, it would have been idyllic. Birds were singing, dogs barking, insects buzzing. The fact she was within shouting distance from a crime scene didn’t disturb her. In Gotham, no one ever was much farther from a crime scene at any hour of the day.

+++

“Alex! Get up, it’s almost your turn!”

Harvey stood directly above her, blocking the sun with his body. It made him shine in an almost angelic way. Almost.

Damn, she had fallen asleep. She squinted at him and slowly sat up. “How late is it?” she muttered, reaching for her phone. She had to call Phil.

“Boy, I’d love to be able to sleep like you.” Harvey said. “Anywhere, anytime… just watching you makes me jealous.” He sat down on the ground next to her, groaning as he did. His face looked tired. Being Captain took its definite toll on him. He had aged in the few weeks since his promotion. The lines around his eyes and on his forehead were more pronounced. His beard had more grey in it.   
He got his trusty flask out of his inner pocket and took a quick swig before offering it to her.

Jim approached them from the direction of the scene. The Techs were still working on it, but Alex knew their process. They wouldn’t take much longer. She quickly took a swig as well and handed the flask back to Harvey.

“Sit with us!” she said to Jim, patting the grass next to her, “I’ll get my drums from the car and we can dance and sing songs or whatever.” Looking up at him, she lay back on the grass again, relishing in the cool, soft feeling of it against her back.

Jim bent down. Alex prepared for a kiss, but instead he reached for a half smoked cigarette in the grass, right next to her head, and put it away from her. “No thank you. We got work to do, come on, Harv!”

Harvey sighed but slowly made it to his feet. “Have a good one,” he said.

Alex sat up again, shielding her eyes from the sun as she looked up at them, “You too!”

Jim bent down again and now Alex finally got her kiss.  
“Can’t wait for the evening,” she whispered, holding on to him a second longer, “maybe we can finish what we started earlier…”

Jim nervously cleared his throat, but couldn’t hide a small smirk. His face told volumes about the thoughts she’d put into his head with her words. She smiled after him as he walked off, her heart fluttering with excitement.  
She called Phil and indulged in the sunshine some more while she waited.

+++

They were done with work by early afternoon. The body had been badly mauled and they’d done their best to clean up all the parts of it for about an hour until Phil had had the glorious idea of just setting the scene on fire.

Maybe not the most conventional way to go about this, but definitely the easiest and most efficient. Time was money after all.

Alex gave Harvey a quick call so no one would send the fire department to their little bonfire while Phil excitedly started raking leafs.

+++

They sat in the shade, watching the fire burn down quickly. Being out in the sun all day was nice for a change. Clouds were slowly covering the sky again and it would probably rain again tomorrow. Gotham life…

“Ha! You’re almost as burnt as me! Finally you’re a real Gothamite!” Phil exclaimed, stepping out of his coveralls once they’d stomped out the last of the glow. The former crime scene now was all bare dirt and ashes. There definitely was no more bloody gore left for anyone to stumble upon.

“Because I got a sunburn?” Alex muttered, bending down to look at herself in the car’s side mirror. Her face had the color of a lobster. She got back up and did a double take at the mirror. Something shiny caught her eye in the small heap of ashes.

“Yes! Your eternal country girl tan is finally gone!”

Alex snorted. “Country girl tan… you make it sound like I grew up herding sheep or whatever…” She took a rubber glove and picked up the shiny from the ashes. It was part of a keychain, blackened by the fire, but with a set of numbers still readable.

“Well… didn’t you?” Phil sat on the hood of their car and started rolling a joint, watching her as his fingers moved almost all of their own. It wasn’t often that they found something the Techs and the Detectives had overlooked, but it had happened once or twice before. Alex leaned against the hood next to Phil and carefully dropped the piece of metal into a Ziploc.

“Don’t play dumb!” she muttered, giving him a nudge with her shoulder. He had been at her childhood home a few times and knew full well how she had grown up. Still he took immense pleasure in teasing her for her Cowgirl upbringing, as he dubbed it.

“Careful!” Phil muttered, shoving his shoulder back against hers. “Don’t want me to drop this, do you?” he motioned at the half rolled joint in his hands.

“Jim said not to use his plant as an ashtray by the way… we had a little… altercation because of that.”

“Drama in paradise? Already? Tell me about it!” He put the joint between his lips and lit it up, inhaling deeply.

Alex told him the whole story while walking through the park, smoking, talking, careful to remain in the shade of the trees, what with both of them being sunburnt already. The sun was moving westwards and the skyscrapers in the Fashion District threw their first long shades over the park by the time they reached their car again.

“My cellmate, Wrench, he was… quite something, he…”

“Wait… Wrench, mask, tattoos everywhere, spitting verbal diarrhea as if his life depends on it?” Phil interrupted her, shooting her a questioning glance.

Alex nodded. “You know him?”

“Yea, Wrench is the fucking best. How is he? I haven’t seen him in ages!”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“I’m a social fucking butterfly, baby!” Phil muttered, seemingly growing a head taller with his words.

“Yea, obviously,” Alex chuckled, “he seemed well enough… for a guy sitting in a cell, I mean. I told Harvey to go easy on him,” she shrugged.

“Yea, he’s always well somehow… tough as shoe leather that one! Thanks for putting in a good word… Whatever good that will do him…” Phil thoughtfully muttered, “About Jim though, you know if he wasn’t a lot bigger and stronger than me, I’d punch him, right? No one but me is allowed to get you in a cell! And if that ever happened, I’d definitely be in there right next to you!”

Alex chuckled. “Thank you, my big strong protector,” She patronizingly patted him on the head, which probably looked odd, considering Phil was almost two heads taller than her, “but I’m a big girl. I can look after myself.”

+++

Jim’s POV

They’d been out following leads all day, but something was missing. Nothing made any sense. It was exasperating. Harvey was in his new office, doing whatever it was a Captain did, while Jim was left to puzzle over this riddle on his own. It was getting late. He should probably go home. There’d be no more insights today.   
Massaging his temples against a slowly coming headache, he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Jim! So glad to find you here,” a familiar voice said.

He tensed and slowly looked up to find Barbara sitting on the corner of his desk. Long, slim legs crossed, wearing one of her elegant pantsuits. The neckline of her blouse was so low it almost showed her navel. He hated those things. They were unnecessarily vulgar.   
“Yea? Why?”

“Word on the street is, you replaced me! Is it true?”

Jim leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “Why do you care?”

“Because I know you still love me!” Stepping behind him, she bent down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “You and I, we belong together,” she whispered, her lips almost touching his ear. “We’re meant for each other.”

Jim caught her hands as they tried to sneak inside his jacket. “We’re not. Never were. Your father never failed to remind me of that.”

“Remind you of what?”

“I wasn’t good enough for his precious daughter.”

“Good thing he’s dead then, don’t you think?” Barbara slowly straightened and stalked around him. She didn’t seem to feel the slightest bit of remorse.

“Barbara, what do you want?” He was in no mood to play her games. He wanted to go home, be with Alex; maybe he could get ice cream on the way… she’d love that.

“I want to meet her.”

“No.”

“Come on! Word on the street is, she’s a feisty one. I’d like to challenge her to a battle of wits.”

Jim snorted. “I don’t think she’d like that.”

“Who’d like what?” Alex muttered, coming up the stairs to the Detectives’ Level.

She had a Popsicle in her hand and a soot stain on her cheek. Alex as she lived and breathed. To him she looked like Venus reincarnate. Jim felt his face soften.  
“Barbara, meet Alex, your replacement,” he said coolly. “Alex, meet my crazy ex Barbara.”

Alex stopped to face the taller woman, blinking at her seemingly taken by surprise.

“This…” Barbara took a few steps towards Alex. Her face formed a perfect O of surprise, her hand melodramatically wandered to her chest. “This is her?” She turned between Alex and Jim a few times in an almost comical way, before letting her gaze settle on him again. “And people say men always go for the same type of woman.” She turned back towards Alex and gave her another disapproving once over.

Where Barbara was dressed to impress, Alex was dressed for business. Working outside in the sun all day had left its traces. She was sweaty, her hair was a mess, her skin sunburnt… and her eyes suspiciously red. Jim would have bet his left arm the last had nothing to do with working in the sun and everything with hanging out with Phil afterwards though.   
“I thought I’d go for someone who isn’t clinically insane this time,” he said, keeping his face carefully blank.

“I actually got a certificate that says I’m sane.” Barbara stated.

“And I’ve got a certificate that says I won the spelling bee in 3rd grade.” Alex mumbled. She had found her bearings again and sat down in what used to be Harvey’s chair.

“So the rumors are true.” Barbara said, not bothering to play nice anymore.

Alex chuckled. “There’s rumors about me? Am I that popular? I never realized!” Putting her feet up on the table she leaned back and gave her Popsicle an appreciative lick. “What do they say?”

“Just that you don’t know when it’s healthier for you to shut up.”

Jim snorted.

“Anything you wanted to say, dear?” Barbara turned back towards him.

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms again. “Nah… Alex can fend for herself. I’m content watching.”

“You like us girls fighting over you, huh?” Barbara grinned.

“Are we fighting?” Alex asked, “sorry, I wasn’t aware…”

“Figure of speech… well… I’ll be on my way. I wish you two lovebirds the best of times.” A fake smile popped up on Barbara’s face and was gone again equally quick, like a mask put on and taken off.

“Thanks for coming by,” Jim said, giving her an equally fake smile. “Next time, just give me a call.”

“I’ll wait for yours. I give you two months. Three at the most.” Barbara countered, giving Alex a final once over before she stalked off. “You… got something there, dear,” she muttered in passing, pointing at her own cheek.

Alex self-consciously rubbed at her cheek, smearing the soot some more. “You really only know the nicest of people,” she said once she was reasonably sure Barbara was out of earshot. She gave her cheek one more rub for good measure and looked at Jim questioningly.

“Yea, something seems to draw them to me,” Jim agreed, shoving a box of tissues towards her. “Why are you here?”

“Can’t I just come here for a kiss?” She got up and slowly walked towards him.

Jim silently raised an eyebrow at her.

Alex sighed audibly. “Yes, I know… no PDAs… especially not at your place of business… yadda yadda yadda. But I bet you don’t mind if I do this, eh?” She gave her Popsicle an intentionally sensual lick, wrapping her lips around it, her eyes entirely focused on him.

“God, please stop that…” Jim hissed, nervously readjusting his seat. If she continued like that, she’d make him regret the nice morning they’d had.

Alex chuckled, but the smile quickly fell from her face and was replaced with a look of disgust. Something behind Jim had caught her eye.

“Damnit, Gordon… I wanted to see where that would have gone…” Alvarez ranted.

“Shut up, Alvarez,” Jim barked. He got up and ushered Alex into Harvey’s office, forcefully closing the door behind them.

Alex stumbled before him but managed not to drop her Popsicle. “Hey Harvey!” she waved.

“What’cha doing here?” Harvey muttered. “Please tell me it ain’t payday again.” He looked at his calendar, flipping a page, then another.

“Sadly no…” Alex laughed, “but,” she paused for dramatic effect, “you guys missed something today.” She pulled the Ziploc from her bag and put it on Harvey’s desk. “It was left after we burned all the other stuff… And before you ask: No, I didn’t touch it! I used gloves, like you told me to!”

“Good girl!” Harvey praised. “Take a cookie!” He pulled one of the drawers in his desk open to reveal a bunch of junkfood.

Alex’s eyes went all big.

Jim had taken the Ziploc and looked at the little piece of metal inside, twisting and turning the bag looking for the clues. He casually leaned over the desk and stole a chocolate before Harvey could close the drawer again.   
“I’ll take this to the lab,” he said, “I’ll probably be home late. Don’t wait up.” Now that they had a new clue, there might be more work to do, leads to follow. “And… do me a favor and take a cab home. I don’t like you driving high,” he whispered.

“Do I look like I’m made of money?”

He inhaled and reached into his pants pocket to hand her a bill.

“Thank you, dear.” She blew him a kiss, but he was already out the door.


	13. Naught but a Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Jim enjoy their new love to its fullest.   
> Alex goes back to her old place.   
> And then she fucks things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts out with the tiniest amount of (very tasteful in my opinion) smut. Nothing too crazy, but there's nudity involved... and boners. And dumb jokes... consider yourself warned!

Jim would be home late that night. And it was her own fault. She had brought him the missing clue late in the day. Rookie mistake.

Alex was nothing if not flexible though. If she was home alone, she might as well indulge in some girltime, pampering herself. After a long day outside, she deserved it.

A long, steamy shower, peeling, shaving and moisturizing everything, followed by a few hours of mindless reality TV and her favorite snacks was just what she needed.   
The thick layer of Aloe Vera lotion she’d put on her sunburnt face felt like heaven.

Wrapped in a fluffy towel, half dried hair in a messy bun atop her head to keep it out of her face, she plopped down on the sofa with a bag of garlic crisps to her left and a jar of Nutella to her right, a glass of sparkling wine on the table. She switched the TV on and her brain off. Pure bliss.

When Jim bent over the sofa to kiss her two episodes into her “Hoarders” Marathon, she startled so bad, she almost dropped her food.   
“Fuuuuucking hell! Don’t sneak up on me like that!” she yelled, pressing her hand against her chest. “When did you come in?”

“Just now,” he muttered,” Sorry… What’s on your face?” He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“Aloe Vera… for my sunburn.” She wiped her hands on her towel and carefully smoothed the lotion again.

“Aloe Vera isn’t even that good for sunburn,” Jim smartassed, “next time use coconut oil. It’s much better.”

“Since when are you the expert on sunburn?” Alex frowned.

“I lived in Orange County for a while when I was in school… when I first got there, I got sunburnt a lot, believe me…”

“You lived in California?” Alex couldn’t believe what she heard. Her earnest, serious Jim in groovy, sunny California? She couldn’t imagine it if she tried.

“Yea, for 4 years…”

“Did you wear like… sunglasses and flip-flops or what?” Alex asked, just so she could form a picture inside her head.

“Yea, both. Most of the time.” Jim shrugged.

Alex didn’t know what to say to that so she changed the subject. “Why are you home so early?”

“There weren’t any prints on the keychain… and we have no idea where it came from…” He sat down next to her, giving the TV only a quick glance. “Are… you wearing anything under that towel?”

“Depends…”

“On what?”

“Whether or not you’d enjoy that.” She teasingly crossed her legs so a lot of her naked thigh was visible under the edge of the towel.

Jim placed his hand on her thigh and slowly moved it upwards.

Alex’s eyebrows rose up until they almost met her hairline. “So that’s how it is? Don’t I get to keep some secrets?”

“Oh I’m sorry… do you WANT to keep your secrets?” He stopped his movements and pulled away from her.

“Well if you ask me like that… you may continue!” she grinned, scooching towards him the tiniest bit.

“Nah… I’m not some machine you can turn on and off as you please.” He made himself comfortable and focused on the TV. “Are you watching Hoarders?”

Alex nodded eagerly. “Makes me feel incredibly good about myself,” she muttered. Scooching even closer towards him, she rubbed her bare thigh against his clothed one. “I shaved…” she whispered suggestively, “everything…”

Jim coughed.

“But I mean… I totally understand you’re no machine.” She moved away again, reaching for her food and focusing back on the TV.

Liberally dipping a crisp into her Nutella, she stuffed it into her mouth, savoring the explosion of flavors on her tongue.

“What are you eating?” Jim took the bag and frowned at her. “Did you just dip one of those in the Nutella?”

Alex nodded. “It’s tasty! Wanna try?”

“You watch Hoarders and you eat garlic crisps with Nutella and you honestly expect me to still be attracted to you?”

Alex nodded a tiny little nod and bit her lower lip while twirling an escaped strand of her hair around her finger.

Jim swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing hard.

A broad grin sprang on Alex’s face. She let her fingers glide over her exposed collarbones in a sensual way, looking at him, hooking him with her glance. She could feel his eyes on her body and parts of her… reacted.

“You should come over here.” Jim finally said, agreeing to play her game.

“Where?”

“Here,” he patted his lap, “it’s much more comfortable.”

“Is it?” She slowly climbed on top of him, taking great care the towel stayed in place. Straddling him, she got comfortable on his lap, excitedly noting something in his pants poking certain parts of her anatomy in a very pleasant way. “It really is,” she whispered, her voice husky with anticipation. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her fingers glide through the hair on the back of his head and downwards until she reached his collar.

He closed his eyes, reveling in her touch. “Told you so,” he muttered, grabbing her waist and readjusting her seat so she felt him press against her even harder.

“I’d say thank you with a kiss, but… the lotion!” Alex feigned helplessness. She carefully loosened his tie and unbuttoned the topmost buttons on his shirt, letting her fingers glide over the newly exposed skin. She enjoyed, when he looked all disheveled like that.

“I… don’t mind,” Jim stuttered. He let one hand wander towards the gap in her towel wrap.

Alex gasped when she felt his rough fingers against her naked hip.

“You like that?” he muttered.

Alex nodded, nervously licking her lips. The movement caught his eyes and he pulled her downward. His kiss was greedy and eager and scratchy with two days’ worth of stubble… and tasted oddly chemical from the lotion that got in their way.

Alex pulled away, laughing. “Fuck, this tastes awful…” She wiped the worst of it away and smeared it in the towel.

“Well, I mean… I could focus my attentions on other… parts,” Jim generously offered. He took a sip from her glass to get the taste out of his mouth.

Alex had to fight back a smirk for the sake of their game. “Could you?” she innocently asked.

He shrugged. “I think I actually owe you.”

“True! I remember!” She carefully climbed off of him, parts of her clenching around nothing, legs trembling with arousal and the prospect of the things to come.

Jim gently pushed her back on the sofa and kissed his way upwards from her ankle, over her knee, along the inside of her thigh. Alex whimpered in anticipation. This evening was getting more and more pleasant by the minute.

Jim’s hands sent tingles of electricity through her body, his lips brought goosebumps to her skin. He put one leg up on the back of the sofa, the other on his shoulder and looked down at her where she waited, exposed, quivering with excitement.

He let his hands glide upwards under her towel and dove down in one smooth movement. Alex’s brain went on hiatus

+++

An indeterminate amount of time later, Alex found herself sprawled on the sofa, Jim entangled in her still twitching legs, watching her face with a sly grin. “You liked that?” he muttered.

Alex was too drunk on endorphins to form coherent sentences. She took a few tries but gave up and settled on nodding, underlined with a soft, satisfied sigh.

Jim bent towards her, kissing her knee as he gently freed himself from her legs.

She heard the sink in the bathroom and slowly, with shaking hands, wrapped the towel around herself again. It had come undone at one point, leaving her exposed.

“I think I might need another shower… as soon as I can move again,” she sighed, when Jim came back out of the bathroom.

Jim laughed softly as he passed by her into the bedroom.

She pulled herself up far enough so she could look at him. Only his backside was visible through the bedroom door. He had pulled off his pants and shrugged out of his shirt as she watched. Alex gave a pained groan. “I’m still sensitive… could you stop trying to make me all hot and bothered again?”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try to be less arousing for you,” he joked, stepping out of her direct line of sight.

“Impossible… you’d have to wear a giant cardboard box and Alvarez’s disgusting aftershave or something like that.” Alex muttered.

She slowly made it to sitting and got up and into the bathroom on shaky legs, leaving the door slightly ajar, in case he wanted to join her.

He didn’t. Bummer.

“Hey, umm, on an entirely different matter…” she said when she came out of the bathroom again. Her brain had mostly cleared up. “Do you remember if I brought a small green Tupperware container with me when I took my stuff here?”

“I don’t think so… why do you ask?” Jim sat at the kitchen table in his boxers and undershirt, leafing through a newspaper.

“Well… I… It has some stuff in it… of sentimental value mostly… but I think I forgot it at my old place…”

“Go ask your landlord if he found it,” Jim suggested.

Alex cleared her throat. “Yea… right…” she laughed nervously. She hadn’t told Jim the exact way of how she’d cancelled her lease. “I’ll go there tomorrow.”

+++

The spelling bee certificate she’d mentioned to Barbara the day before hadn’t been a joke. She’d really won the spelling bee in 3rd grade. The fact she’d been only one of two contenders because a flu epidemic had knocked out most of the other kids and her single opponent had been a kid who’d only moved to the states from Europe a few months before didn’t matter in her opinion. She had won fair and square. Harvey, who had been the only one to watch her because the rest of her family had been sick with the flu as well, thought so too.

The certificate was one of the two items she’d kept in the small green Tupper.

The month wasn’t over yet, so with any luck the landlord hadn’t noticed her move yet and the door would still be open… and if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be the first time she’d pick the lock. She knew how to get in.

Breathing heavily after walking up three flights of stairs – thank god she’d never have to do that again – she pushed against the door and found it still open. No one had bothered to fix the hole or the broken hinges yet. The makeshift hinges she’d crafted out of a bunch of zip ties were still holding strong though. She’d have to remember that trick.

The early morning light made the place look cold and disused and much dustier than before.

The drawers on her battered desk and in her kitchen were all open, as were the doors to her warped wardrobe. The curtain around her bed had been ripped down. She hadn’t left things like that. Someone had clearly been inside and looked through what she’d left.

Hurrying through the familiar room on light feet, she made it to her bedroom, to the back wall of it, to be precise. She’d built herself a makeshift safe there and really hoped whoever had ransacked the place hadn’t found it. Well… no one would probably look for a safe in a place like this. And no one would steal the stuff that was in it, but still… She cursed herself for forgetting the only thing that was really important.

The loose brick in the wall of her bedroom, the one she’d brought to the lineup that one time, had fallen out after a particularly wild lovemaking session with some guy. What had his name been? Victor? Vincent? Alex couldn’t remember and it didn’t matter in any case. All she remembered was his crazy eyes and the weird stuff he’d been into. Much more importantly though: She had found a hollow space behind the brick and decided she could use it for her purposes.

She kneeled down right next to her saggy bed, now screwed to the wall to prevent accidents like the brick thing from happening again, and started the admittedly tedious work of wriggling out the brick when a noise from behind made her freeze. She hadn’t taken the hatchet under her bed to Jim’s place and could see it out of the corner of her eye. Slowly, in what she hoped was an inconspicuous way, she reached for it.

The creaking of floorboards behind her told her the intruder was coming closer. Still she acted like she hadn’t noticed.

When her fingers found the hatchet, she slowly pulled it towards her, acting as if nothing had perturbed her, seemingly still focused on the brick wall.

“What are you gonna do with that thing? Chop some wood?” a familiar girl’s voice said. Selina.

“What are you doing here?” Alex muttered, half turning towards her, but not bothering to get up.

“I thought I’d seen you outside. I… live in the neighborhood.”

“Why did you follow me?”

“Curiosity,” Selina shrugged.

“Curiosity killed the cat!” Alex retorted and went back to work. Selina was no danger. She was just a teenage girl.

“What are you doing?” Selina asked, casually walking around the room, letting her gloved fingers glide over dusty surfaces and disused furniture.

“Don’t touch that!” Alex muttered when Selina reached a lopsided shelf. But too late. The gum with which Alex had “fixed” the shelf gave and it fell down with a crash.

Selina chuckled.

Alex rolled her eyes. It didn’t matter. She didn’t live here anymore. Let the whole fucking place fall to pieces for all she cared. Looking around, she felt like that would happen sooner rather than later. She had never realized how shabby her place must have looked to every visitor, to Jim. It was a miracle he hadn’t run from her, screaming.

It took some effort but the brick she’d been working on finally came loose. Behind it, in a small green Tupper, were her most valued items.

Selina crouched down next to her and looked over her shoulder. “What’s that?”   
She reached to touch the lid, but Alex moved it out of her range and opened it herself. “Is that a police badge?” Selina continued, “whoa! Did you… did you kill a cop? You can’t keep souvenirs of that! That’s stupid!”

Alex blinked at her for a second. “… what? How…. would you come to that conclusion?”

“I don’t know… you don’t seem to give much of a shit in life and… things can happen!” Selina defensively shrugged.

Shaking her head, Alex explained: “It was my Dad’s. He was a Cop. Died when I was little…”

“I thought Bullock was your Dad or something.” Selina muttered. “You kinda look alike.”

Alright. Now she’d heard it all. “No,” she courtly said. “Just no.”

“Well, don’t get all stuck up now… how was I supposed to know?” Selina got to her feet and roamed around some more while Alex made sure the other item in the container, the folded spelling bee certificate, was unharmed as well.

“If you ever need a place to live… just let me know, okay?” Selina said, lounging against the back of Alex’s sofa, “I can set you up with much better housing… for free!”

Alex wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about being patronized by a teenage girl, but decided to let it go. Never push a potential ally away.

+++

Phil had invited Alex to his roommate’s birthday party for the evening. Alex had been hesitant at first but when he told her there’d be an open bar, she agreed to come.

The location was a rancid, rundown… club, if you could call something you could only reach by going through an apartment building, out the back, through an inner yard and into the cellar of another apartment building, a club. There were more drugs than Alex had ever seen of more kinds than she cared to remember.

Even Phil seemed overwhelmed… and that meant something, coming from him. Still, he indulged. Alex didn’t. One never knew how an unknown substance could fuck you up… especially not in Gotham. Alcohol was all she needed. Especially if it was free.

She remained mostly with Phil, since the other people around were kinda… odd. They seemed seedy in the least positive way. Not that Alex would consider herself better than them, but they appeared much less in control of their life’s than she was. Her mother would call them a bad crowd.

Still, she enjoyed herself. The music was better than she’d feared at first. She danced drank and when she was too tired to do the first, she sat on a rundown sofa in a secluded corner where the music wasn’t as loud, and did more of the latter.

Phil had ran off somewhere with a girl but Alex didn’t mind anymore. A pretty guy (pretty, not handsome!), skinny, tall, dark hair, dark eyes, some years younger than her, had sat down next to her and entertained her with stories of his travels abroad. He had been traveling through the Middle East for the last year and had only been back for two weeks.

“Oh!! Nao I kno who yu remin’ me of! Hav’ you e’er seen dat old Disney Movie? Wif dat blue guy… an the monkey? Aladdin? I al’ays had such a crush on dat guy!” Alex slurred.

She was completely content where she was, glass full, having someone to chat. She didn’t think anything of her Aladdin moving ever closer. It was noisy and he was probably getting tired of shouting. And sitting without having anyone to lean against was getting hard as well.

Her brain was too far gone to stop, him when he touched her thigh. He looked at her with only one question in his eyes, her body answered.

He kissed her. And she kissed him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a couple of easter eggs in this that I simply had to fit in before the next few sad chapters. Its probably not all in character, but damned if I care :P


	14. and then, everything went to shit...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex's little makeout session has quite an aftermath... Jim doesn't take kindly to his live-in girlfriend kissing other people.  
> Two hearts shatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes off right after the last chapter, in case it wasn't noticeable.

“Alex! What the fuck are you doing?” Phil was suddenly there.

Alex, lying under her fake Aladdin, hands inside each other’s pants, opened her eyes. Fuck. What WAS she doing?

“Leave her alone man! She’s got a boyfriend!” Phil shouted, furiously pulling Aladdin off of Alex. Both men landed on the ground, Phil on his ass, Aladdin on his knees, half on top of Phil. Alex got to her feet as if the sofa was suddenly on fire. She’d never sobered up so fast.

She stared between the two men, waiting who’d throw the first punch.

Nothing happened.

Aladdin had told her about his daily Yoga Practice and the way he elegantly moved to his feet, in an almost cat-like manner, made her believe every word. He even went so far as helping Phil to his feet as well, before shooting Alex one more glance and walking away, shaking his head.

Alex stared after him, her brain slowly starting to work again. What had she done?

“I need to get out of here,” she said to no one in particular, feeling breathless.

Looking around, she wasn’t sure where exactly the exit was. It was too loud, too crammed, too hot to think.

Phil, sensing her distress, grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her outside.   
“What happened?” he asked, once they were alone. The cold night air sobered them both up the rest of the way.

Alex nervously took a step in one direction only to turn around the next second and walk back to where she’d started. “I… I don’t know… we were talking and drinking and, “she pressed the balls of her hands against her eyes, “Fuck!” Tears started trickling down her face. “Jim will… fuck, I can never tell him!”

Phil silently wrapped his arms around her. “Calm down. We’ll figure this out.”

“How?” Alex cried. “How could I be so stupid? How did this happen Phil? Why did you leave me alone with that guy?” She pushed him away and looked at him accusingly.

“Don’t try to turn this on me, Alex! That one was all you!”

“But… but you brought me here and…”

“Don’t.” Phil stepped away and crossed his arms, staring down at her.

“Fuck… I…” Alex hugged herself and turned in a slow circle. They were still in the inner yard they’d come in through. “How do we get out of here?” she asked without looking at him.

Phil rolled his eyes. It was rare for him to be the level headed one. He silently led her outside and hailed them a cab.

Silent tears ran down her cheeks, collecting on her chin until they dripped down onto her crossed arms. She sniffled occasionally. Sobs shook her whole body.

“Alex. Chill. Nothing serious even happened. You don’t have to tell Jim. I sure won’t! I’m no snitch!”

“I can’t just say nothing.”

“Then…“ Phil was awfully quick to come up with a lie. “Tell him I got in a fight and you had to pull me out and that’s why you’re shaken.”

Alex shook her head. “That’s not what I mean. He’ll figure out something’s wrong. He’s a Cop. It’s what he does!”

Phil had to admit she had a point there. They went quiet, Alex still hugging herself, Phil awkwardly trying to comfort her, holding her, rubbing her arms, muttering words of wisdom neither of them believed.

“You want me to come upstairs?” he asked when they stopped at Jim’s address.

Alex silently shook her head and got out of the car.

“Call me tomorrow!” Phil shouted after her.

Alex nodded, but didn’t turn back.

+++

Jim was already in bed when she came inside. No surprise there. It was 3am.   
She didn’t want to wake him, but she felt like she had that guy’s smell all over her and desperately needed a shower. She felt dirty and disgusting and wanted to scrub at her skin until it came off. Showering also went a long way in hiding the sounds of her crying. She surely got a lot more of that done before she felt ready to turn off the water.   
Damn. Of all the stupid things she had ever done, this was definitely the worst.

On shaky legs, she walked into the bedroom and crawled into bed.

Jim, of course, woke up. “Did you have fun?” he muttered, hugging her from behind.

It took everything out of Alex not to confess then and there. Her chest was tight with remorse. “Don’t touch me, please.” she whispered, freeing herself from his embrace and scooching towards the edge of the bed.

“What… did anything happen? Did anyone hurt you?” Jim pushed up on his elbow to look down at her in the darkness.

“No… just tired,” her voice was barely audible, so tight did her throat feel.

“You sure?” Jim asked.

Alex nodded silently.

“Alright… we’ll talk tomorrow. Good night.” Jim said. Placing a soft kiss on her shoulder, he moved to his side of the bed and went to sleep.

+++

Alex lay awake for hours. She pretended to be asleep when Jim got up in the morning. He knew better than to try to wake her up.

As soon as he was gone, Alex got up. She had barely slept all night. Everything inside her felt numb. She still had no idea what she’d do. The lack of sleep didn’t make things any better.   
She’d have loved to go to Harvey for advice. He might not look it, but he was a wise man.

Involving him in this was impossible though. He was friends with Jim as well. Telling him and making him choose between them would have been wrong.

“Fuck!” Alex muttered, “What am I gonna do?” She buried her face in her hands as if that could somehow stop the tears from falling. It couldn’t.

A knock on the entry door startled her.

She made no move to open it. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“Open up, it’s me!” Harvey called, followed by more knocking. He sounded distressed. “Hurry up, your neighbor is creeping me out!” he continued, his voice lowered.

Alex slowly got up and opened.

Harvey almost fell inside and violently pushed the door closed behind him. He took a few deep breaths to compose himself. Their neighbor really had her way with people. She liked Harvey, probably too much for her own good.

Under different circumstances, Alex would have found his distress amusing. Today though… she wasn’t sure if anything would ever amuse her again.  
“I was…” Harvey started. His expression darkened when he took a good look at her. “What happened?”

Alex hugged herself, biting her lip. She couldn’t look him in the eyes, so she focused on the floor. “Nothing.”

“Alex!” Harvey muttered, stepping in her line of sight.

She slowly looked up at him. He wouldn’t give up before she’d spilled the beans. She sighed. “I… I did something incredibly stupid.”

He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her sit on one of the dining chairs. Pulling another one close, he sat down as well. “Talk.”

Tears trickled down her face again as she told him about the party, violent sobs interrupted her sentences, “… and then… I don’t know why, but… I… I kissed the guy and… if Phil wouldn’t have interrupted, I don’t know what else would have happened.”

Harvey took off his hat and placed it on the table, holding on to it as if that could somehow make hearing her words more bearable. “Shit Alex…” he muttered, “you fucked up.”

“Yea, I know… I… I didn’t even want to tell you, but… Fuck I’m sorry.”

“If this was about anyone else, I’d say forget it ever happened and continue your life, but this is about Jim. He’s my partner, my best friend…”

“I know…” Alex howled. She pulled her knees up on the chair and buried her face against them.

“He won’t stand for this.”

“I know…” she muttered.

“Shit.”

“I know…”

Harvey pulled his chair closer and hugged her. He said nothing. There were no words that could fix the trouble she’d brought upon herself.

The door opened again and someone came inside. Alex didn’t have to look up to know it was Jim. She knew his step. “I forgot we were supposed to meet here,” he said before he saw Alex and Harvey. “What happened?”

Jim hurried towards them and Harvey let go of Alex. “I’ll leave the two of you alone,” he said, slowly getting up.

Alex looked up, pleadingly holding on to Harvey’s arm.

“What happened?” Jim repeated.

“Alex has to tell you something. I’ll wait in the car,” Harvey said.

Alex whimpered as his broad back vanished out the door. Jim took his place opposite her, looking at her quizzically.

“I…” Alex looked everywhere but at him. She couldn’t bear seeing his eyes when she’d doubtlessly break his heart in a second.

Jim’s entire focus was on her, face twisted with worry. “Something did happen last night!”

Alex nodded. Something had happened, just not what he was probably thinking. She swallowed and cleared her throat before she spoke. “I kissed someone.”

“You…” his eyebrows rose, “You kissed…” He leaned backwards in his chair, away from her; then he got up, just leaning back didn’t bring enough distance between them. “Why?” he asked, hands leaning on the back of his chair. She saw his fingers work on the wood, knuckles white with tension. The muscles in his jaw worked as well as he was gritting his teeth, waiting for her answer.

“I don’t know… I was drunk, it… it just happened!” Alex whispered, making herself smaller, as if that would make her offence smaller as well.

He walked a few steps.

He stopped.

He turned around and stared at her, hands on his hips.

The silence in the room was deafening.

“Can you… please say something? You’re scaring me.” Alex muttered.

Jim took a deep breath. He pulled himself up to his full height, shoulders as broad as they got. His face was blank, his voice ice cold. He spoke slowly, making the gravity of his words even more distinct. “I will go to work now. And when I come back tonight, I want you gone and my key right here.” He pointed his finger at the kitchen counter.

Alex sniffled. She nodded a tiny nod. She had known he’d say that. “Okay.”

Without another word Jim turned around and left. For the first time since she’d met him, Alex didn’t enjoy the sight of his backside.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, staring at the closed door. Too many things had happened in too short a time. Alex needed time to process. What to do? Where to go? Who to call?

Again, under different circumstances, her first thought would have been Harvey, always Harvey; but the look in his eyes when she’d told him… she couldn’t call him. She had betrayed him almost as badly as Jim. He had rooted for them from the very beginning and she had fucked things up, after not even two full months.

That left her with Phil. She knew a couple of other people in town of course, but she wasn’t close with anyone. Not close enough to ask them for a place to stay anyways. And she didn’t want to see them. She didn’t even want to see Phil, but Jim had told her he wanted her gone, so go she must.

Phil had only just moved into a new flat. He shared it with a couple of other people, but they sure wouldn’t mind if she stayed with them for a few nights, right? Just until she could patch things up with Jim… if she could patch things up.

Damn, why had this happened? Things had gone so well! Fuck!

She slowly started packing clothes into her ratty backpack, grabbing whatever she reached first. She couldn’t take all of her stuff with her anyways. There wasn’t enough space in her car. Jim surely wouldn’t mind if she left some of it here and picked it up later… or sent Phil to pick it up, depending on what would happen over the next few days. Her chest felt too tight and her knees were shaky. She sat down on the bed.

Her lips started quivering and her eyes filled with tears when she pulled Jim’s sleep shirt out from under her. She held it to her nose and inhaled deeply before she dropped it in her backpack as well. He wouldn’t miss it. And she’d need the comfort, no matter where she went.

Her fingers felt numb when she took her phone to call Phil. Her voice was hoarse and at one point, her sobs got so overwhelming, she gave up talking altogether and just full out cried for a minute or two.

“I’ll text you my address. Just ring and someone will let you in,” Phil promised when she’d calmed down enough to listen again.

+++

Alex spent three days of wallowing in self-pity locked inside Phil’s room. He had told her he had roommates. He just hadn’t told her he had seven of them. Why someone would choose to live with that constant coming and going, music playing, people shouting and making noise at the ungodliest of hours she would never understand.

Luckily, she was drunk most of the time. It made all those people almost tolerable. She spent her days sleeping on Phil’s ratty mattress or crying on the windowsill. It was raining almost constantly and Alex felt as if the sky was crying with her. How could she have been so stupid?

+++

On the fourth day she ran out of booze.

She wanted to go to the liquor store on the corner, a short trip of 10 minutes, before she could continue drinking herself into oblivion.   
She didn’t bother to comb her hair or put on clean clothes. What did it matter how she looked? The clerk didn’t care. He probably saw people in her state every other hour.

Alex put on her sneakers and set out through the rain. Only, her feet didn’t carry her into the liquor store. They carried her past it and down into the subway instead.

+++

She hadn’t brought an umbrella; wouldn’t have needed one for the short trip to the store.

By the time she pushed open the doors to the Precinct, she was wet to the bone and shivering with cold, both physical and emotional (and probably alcohol withdrawal).

Stepping inside, she wanted to march straight to Jim and apologize to him, on her knees if necessary. She hadn’t thought it possible to miss someone so much. It felt like part of her heart had been ripped out and smashed to pieces.

The young uniformed Cop at the front desk stopped her. He must be new.

“I’m a friend of Captain Bullock’s. Let me pass,” Alex muttered, not even bothering to look at him.

“I know who you are, Miss. Captain Bullock expressly prohibited you from entering the premises, I’m sorry.”

This made Alex turn her head. “Excuse me?”

“He said to tell you, you’re not welcome here but you’re more than welcome to give him a call.”

“If I wanted to call him, I wouldn’t have come here, would I?”

“Just following Orders, Miss,” the Cop shrugged.

“Is he here? Can you get him? Is J… is Detective Gordon here?” It was painful to even say his name.

“Captain Bullock specifically forbade everyone from letting you bother Detective Gordon.”

Alex turned towards the clerk and took a deep breath. She wanted to look menacing, but failed, probably due to her chattering teeth and the puddle of rainwater that was slowly forming under her feet.

“Brooks! You look like a wet cat, just not as cheerful!” Alvarez shouted from her right, rapidly coming closer.

“Yea, that’s about right.” Alex muttered. “Your new Secretary here won’t let me through. Can you get me to Harvey? Is he in?”

Alvarez took a step backwards and squinted towards Harvey’s office. “He’s in,” he slowly nodded.

“Can you please tell that kid to let me through? I need to talk to him.”

Alvarez hesitated. “He told us not to let you bother Gordon.”

“I’m not going to bother him… I just…” she sighed, shoulders slumping, feeling all of the energy slip away from her, “forget about it…” She turned to leave. This was stupid anyways.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…” Alvarez muttered under his breath, “can’t bear a woman looking that miserable…” He came after her and brusquely grabbed her by the elbow. “You’re under arrest on grounds of… destroying government property,” he said, motioning to the puddle, “and making a nuisance of yourself. The Captain will deal with your case… come on!”

He ushered her through the main floor and deposited her into Harvey’s office, not setting foot inside himself. The door thudded closed behind her, blinds clinking against the glass once or twice.

Alex’s face lit up at seeing Harvey… before she noticed how mad he looked. She swallowed nervously and shot him a small, insecure smile.

He didn’t smile back.

“Harvey, I’m so sorry.”

“Spare me your excuses. You broke Jim’s heart!”

“I know! I broke my own too! I just… I need to apologize to him once more!”

Harvey shook his head. “He’s been through enough. He doesn’t need you to reopen sores that are barely scabbed over.”

Alex said nothing. She looked at the ground, at the desk, at the row of pictures of Harvey’s predecessors on the wall behind him.

“Alex… you could have had it all with Jim!” Harvey said, his voice a little softer. He wasn’t heartless. He couldn’t be mad at her when she stood before him like that. Walking around his desk, he leaned against it, arms crossed. “You fucked up.”

“I know I did…” she blinked away her tears and searched for something to say. She had never felt this helpless in Harvey’s presence.

“I’ll call you once things have blown over a bit. For now, just leave him be, Chou,” he muttered.

“But…” Alex sighed, “I just want him to know I miss him and I’m sorry. You can’t imagine how sorry I am.”

“I’ll let him know… in time.”

Alex slowly nodded and turned towards the door before she stopped herself. “Harvey, are we okay?”

“You and I? We’ll always be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter was such a downer... it will get better again in the next!


	15. A helping hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kicked out by Jim, Alex gets kicked down some more. First by Phil, then by fate.   
> Good thing, a dark knight (pun intended :P) is there to pick her up.

“Sooo… you’ve been staying here for a while now…” Phil muttered.

“Umm… yes?”

“Well, my roommates asked me to talk to you about that…”

“About what exactly?”

“About how they want you gone.”

Alex blinked at him. She was sitting on her favorite spot on the windowsill in his room. It was broad enough to comfortably fit her, knees pulled up and back leaned against the wall. She could watch the people outside on the street for hours, going through their lives, not a care in the world about her inner turmoil. It was almost like TV.

Phil walked closer and leaned against the wall as well, joining her watching the outside world.   
“This place is crowded enough as it is… one bathroom for eight people is bad… one bathroom for nine people is… worse.”

“Do I look like I use the bathroom a lot? Do I smell like it?” Alex muttered, motioning to her greasy hair. She felt disgusting, but fact was, one bathroom for nine people really wasn’t enough. It was ALWAYS occupied. There was only so much deodorant could do.

“Yea, No… I wanted to talk to you about that too though…

Alex’s face fell. “So you’re kicking me out?”

“I’d never do that! I’m just… urging you to find another place to stay… Urging you with all my love.” Phil excitedly nodded, visibly delighted by his choice of words.

Alex nodded too, not in an excited way though. “Alright… I… I’ll do that then. With love.” She shot him a pained fake smile.

“If you could do it in like a week, that would be perfect!” He put his long, skinny arms around her and kissed her greasy forehead.

Alex swallowed.  
Two weeks ago she’d lived with the man of her dreams and now she was one step away from being homeless. And all because of one stupidly drunk night.  
She could, of course, ask one of her siblings to stay with them for a while, but that would mean getting out of Gotham and staying in a house full of kids and judgement. She’d rather live in her car.

If she ever saw that Aladdin guy again, if she even recognized him when sober, she’d punch him in the face.

Struggling free of Phil’s embrace, not exactly angry, but also not exactly with a heart full of love, she packed the little stuff she owned once again, took her backpack and walked out of the room. She wasn’t sure where exactly she was headed, but she knew she had to go. Finding an affordable place that wasn’t a complete shithole would be hard. Doing so within a week was bordering on impossible.

But then, Selina had said she could set Alex up with a place, right? The only thing now was… how to find Selina. She’d told her she lived in Alex’s old neighborhood but she’d never given her an exact address. She didn’t have her phone number either… But Alex knew who probably knew how to find Selina: Bruce Wayne.   
He’d told her she could come back to the Mansion whenever she wanted. Time to find out if the offer had been genuine.

Driving and having too much time to think made her feel worse. Alone in her old, crappy car, alone in the world. The steady drizzle didn’t do anything to make things better. Ever since that last sunny day two weeks ago, the sky had been nothing but overcast. Ironic in a way; or not at all, depending on your definition of ironic.

The sky wept with Alex. Wept for her lost love, wept for her huge fuckup.

The way from Phil’s place towards Gotham Heights, where Wayne Mansion throned over the city, led her through the most crowded roads of the City. She had forgotten about the huge building site on Davis Avenue and the detour that would lead her right past the Precinct. Great!

As if that wasn’t enough, she had to stop at the red light directly in front of it. Yes, just what she’d needed. More trips down memory lane, more reasons to think about better times…

And in case she still wasn’t feeling bad enough, fate had one more ace up its sleeve: Jim, Harvey and Doc Thompkins were coming down the stairs at just the right moment so Alex was sure to see them.

Looking at them hurt more than she’d thought possible. Alex would have given everything to get out of the car and run up to them and hug both men and beg for forgiveness… and maybe stab Doc Thompkins a little for being with them when she wasn’t allowed to. Her knuckles turned white, so hard did she hold on to the steering wheel to keep from simply acting on her urge.

The trio didn’t see her. They talked amongst them. Jim looked worried, tired. Because of her? Or because of a case? Had he moved on already? Found solace in someone else’s arms? In Lee’s arms? Jealousy hit her hard at the thought.   
The light turned green and traffic moved on. Alex drove away. She’d never find out.

Her phone had been pretty fucked up ever since it had gotten wet in the rain. It turned off and on and dropped calls in a seemingly random pattern. She had barely talked to Harvey ever since she’d been at the Precinct. She knew where she stood with him though. He had promised they were okay. And he generally kept his promises.

+++

The engine light in her car had started flashing a few months ago. Alex had covered it with a band aid and forgotten all about it. Her budget didn’t allow for unexpected car maintenance.

The road to Gotham Heights was steep.

The combination of those factors was a bad one. Her irresponsibility came back to bite her in the ass now.

After about one minute of driving steadily uphill, the engine started sputtering. After three minutes the it gave one final pull and gave out with a puff of smoke from under the hood. Alex managed to pull to the side of the road and pull the parking brake just so.  
“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” she cursed, angrily slapping the dashboard. “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

Bending forward to look at the sky made her mood even worse. It was pouring and didn’t look like it would stop anytime soon. “Fucking shit!”

She had a small tantrum, followed by a tiny little breakdown right then and there in the car.

It had been early afternoon when she had left at Phil’s, but tantrums and breakdowns took more time than one might think. It was getting dark outside, well, darker, since it hadn’t been proper light all day, with the thick clouds.   
The engine had stopped smoking some while ago, but wouldn’t start again. “Why me?” she cried.   
Pulling up her legs against the steering wheel and putting her head on her knees, she wallowed in self-pity some more. She’d never felt so forlorn and powerless before. How had she gotten to this point? She was usually stronger than that!

The few cars that passed her didn’t even slow down. They must see her. The steady blinking of the flashing warning lights was like a beacon in the dark. Of course they saw her. They just didn’t give a crap.   
And she couldn’t even blame them. Her rust bucket looked more at home in a junkyard than on the road.

Another set of headlights came up the road. Alex didn’t even look up. She didn’t notice when the car stopped. She didn’t notice someone getting out of the car, carrying a huge black umbrella. But she noticed the knock against the window.

It took her a moment to recognize the outside and she slowly rolled down the window.

“Miss Brooks,” Alfred said. “Are you quite alright?”

Alex wanted to vanish into thin air, to tell him to leave her alone. She must look like shit after crying all afternoon… and not showering for 3 days. “I… was on my way to see Bruce,” she said slowly, “but… my car couldn’t take the hill…”

“Did you have an appointment with Master Bruce?” Alfred said, opening the door, holding his umbrella over her so she wouldn’t get wet. Not that being rained on would have made any difference to Alex’s mood or general wellbeing, but the gesture was a nice one nonetheless, and much appreciated.

“No… I only wanted to ask him for Selina’s address. Or… phone number… or any way to get a hold of her really. He said I could come whenever, so I figured…” she trailed off.

“Of course. I’ll take you the rest of the way. We can have your car picked up tomorrow morning. You can’t go back over the bridge this lousy weather.”

“That’s… thank you, Alfred.” Alex said. She climbed out of her car, all stiff from sitting in an awkward position for so long, and followed him to his: a dark shiny affair that probably cost more than what she made in a year. He opened the passenger door for her when she remembered her backpack. “Just a second,” she muttered, running back to her car through the rain.

Backpack on her shoulder, and slightly wet, she smiled at Alfred, still waiting by the opened door with his umbrella and climbed into his car. She hadn’t noticed how cold she’d been until she entered the heated confinement of the Bentley. Soft Jazz music came from the speakers. It was barely audible over the pattering of the rain on the windshield and roof.

“Are you alright, Miss Brooks? You look positively ghastly, if you pardon my bluntness,” Alfred said, once he started the engine.

“I…,” she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t expected him to be so kind, not after what he’d said at their dinner. Maybe Jim had been right and he really had talked about Bruce and Selina being unfit for each other, not about her and Jim. It didn’t matter either way. After picking her up so nicely, he was officially back in her good graces.

“I heard you and Detective Gordon had a… falling out of sorts.” Alfred said.

“You could call it that, yes.”

“How would you call it then?”

“Umm… I’d say I fucked up. Big time,” Alex said with a sad little laugh.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” His voice was earnest, but the ghost of a smile played over his face at her choice of words.

 

“I have to apologize for making you enter through the house, but in this rain, I wouldn’t want to make you wait at the front door.” Alfred said as he pushed a button on a small remote and drove them into a spacey garage. Alex counted twelve cars and two motorcycles, some hidden under coverlets, some out in the open.

Nice. She didn’t have one functioning car. Bruce had twelve and wasn’t even allowed to drive yet.

Alfred wanted to open the door for her, but she wasn’t used to that kind of treatment and had already gotten out herself, by the time he’d reached her side. He went around to the back instead and opened the trunk to pull out two brown paper grocery bags.

“Let me help you,” Alex offered, putting her backpack on her shoulders and taking one of the bags from him.

“Thank you, that won’t be necessary.”

“Yea, you picking me up also wasn’t necessary, still you did.” Alex shrugged. “Where to?”

She followed him through the garage until they reached an elevator that took them upstairs. An actual elevator; in a private residence. Now she’d seen it all.

They walked through long corridors, warm, dry, quiet corridors until Alfred turned to his left and entered a kitchen-breakfast room combination. “I will let Master Bruce know you’re here,” Alfred said, putting his grocery bag on the counter. ”Please take a seat, I’ll only be a minute.”

This was probably where they had their meals when they didn’t have guests. It felt much more comfortable and lived in than the big table they’d dined at, when she’d been here the first time.

The kitchen looked old fashioned, but well kept, clean. A fruit basket sat on the counter and Alex stole a handful of grapes. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten anything but greasy takeout pizza.

Alfred really only was away for a minute. He came back with a red faced Bruce in workout clothes in tow. The smell of sweaty teenager assaulted her nose.

“Alex!” Bruce exclaimed. “So good to see you! I heard about you and Jim. How are you?”

Yea, of course he had heard about them as well. Everyone had. “I’m… alright, considering the circumstances. Thanks for asking. Did I interrupt you with anything?”

“I was in the gym, working out. Sorry for receiving you like that, I didn’t want to make you wait. Alfred said you wanted to talk to me about Selina?” Bruce sat down, slowly unwrapping his hands out of a couple hand bandages.

Alfred busied himself with putting away the groceries, scurrying around the kitchen, starting meal preparations. In the same room, but invisible. The perfect servant.

“Yes. I was wondering if you knew how to reach her. She… mentioned she’d know of a place for me to stay and I could really use some help in that department right now.”

Alfred gave an explosive cough.

“I hate to say, but there really is no way to contact Selina,” Bruce said, “she just shows up here or around town however she pleases. But,“ he seemed to think for a moment, “I own a couple of apartment buildings in town. Alfred, do we have any vacancies at the moment?”

“I will have to check the files Master Bruce,” Alfred said, putting down his knife and wiping his hands on his apron. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and let Miss Brooks get into some dry clothes as well and you can discuss this after dinner. I’ll make sure to have a quick look through the files by then.”

“Don’t… you don’t have to do this.” Alex interjected. “I mean… I can look out for myself, always have, always will.”

“Don’t worry Alex. That’s what friends are for. Come on, I’ll show you where you can stay tonight.”

“Well… umm… I mean…” Alex didn’t know what to say. He spoke with such sincerity… Did he really consider her a friend?

“You have fallen on hard times. I’d like to help you back on your feet,” Bruce said. “It’s the least I can do.”

“But I…”

He wouldn’t hear her protests and lead her to a guest room with en-suite bathroom instead. “Alfred will make up the bed for you in the evening. Come back to the kitchen when you’re done. We can talk then.”

The room was huge, as was the bathroom. Being in this luxury was unreal after weeks of sharing a flat with way too many stoners and hippies.

Alex took a long, hot, uninterrupted shower and put on her least smelly clothes when she was done. She’d had neither the strength nor the facilities to do laundry in Phil’s flat, so this was the best she could do.

+++

The smell of Dinner led her back to the kitchen. She managed to find it, getting lost only once. Alfred was setting the table when she entered. Bruce was still gone.

“Let me do this,” she offered, taking over laying out plates and cutlery. She felt like a complete freeloader as it was. Setting the table was the least she could do.

Alfred sat and ate with them as Alex had hoped he would. It would have felt odd, have him watching them eat. He had made Puff Pastry Chicken Potpie to die for and opened a bottle of wine, claiming the occasions he got to drink with a beautiful lady were much too rare.

Both men showered Alex with compliments, probably to make her feel better, but Alex still appreciated them. It felt good after the snide remarks she’d gotten from Phil’s roommates for the past two weeks.

For the first time since her epic fuck up, she didn’t wish she’d just stop existing.

“I prepared the files you asked for, Master Bruce,” Alfred said, once he’d cleaned away their plates.

“Thank you.” Bruce said, taking the huge ledger Alfred indicated and placing it on the table between them.

“There is a free apartment on Cameron Street that I think would be quite fitting,” Alfred said. “It’s small, but fully furnished.”

Alex cleared her throat. “Umm… I don’t think I can afford a place on Cameron Street. I don’t make a lot of money.”

“You can just pay however much you paid for your old place. Don’t worry about it, Alex,” Bruce opened the ledger and looked through the files. “I will show you the place tomorrow.”

Alex looked between the two men helplessly. She hadn’t expected that. Everything, but not this amount of kindness and generosity. This was surreal. After two weeks of feeling merely tolerated, these two made her feel like they seemed actually pleased to help her.

How did she even deserve that after what she’d done?

+++

They chatted some more, companionably, now that business was settled, and went to their respective rooms soon after. When Alfred had found the time to make the bed in her room, Alex wasn’t entirely clear on. The linens smelled like spring breeze and felt incredibly soft to the touch. She didn’t know exactly what thread count was, but those sheets must definitely have a lot of it. The mattress was perfect, not too soft, not too hard, still, sleep refused to come.

She had Jim’s sleepshirt on the pillow next to her, but she’d handled it so much, it smelled more like her than him at this point. It was no help falling asleep any longer.

When her phone showed 1:30, she finally gave up. Too much had happened that day. No way would her brain shut down anytime soon.

And there was one thing her mind kept wandering back to: The tub in the downstairs bathroom.

Bruce and Alfred were probably asleep by now, but Alex was pretty sure they wouldn’t mind her having a bath. They’d been so nice all evening, made her feel so welcome. Alfred would probably draw the bath for her if she’d ask, even at this hour.

She pulled on the soft robe from her bathroom and opened the door. The house was quiet except for the rain steadily pattering against the windows and the wind blowing around the corners of the house. Barely any moonlight was visible through the thick cloud cover.

She blindly found the light switch and padded downstairs on silent feet. The lights in the corridors were low, warm, almost candle-like. That was probably what they’d gone for when installing the sconces along the walls.

Despite the warm light, or maybe because of it, the big, empty hallways made her uneasy. There was something mysterious about the Mansion. Secrets, hidden passages, probably underground dungeons or whatever else rich people put under their houses. Alex wondered how many people had died within these dignified walls. There must be at least one ghost haunting those hallways… if one was inclined to believe in such things. Alex persuaded herself she didn’t believe in that kind of old-wives’ tales.

Still, she sped up to get to the relative safety of the bathroom.

She closed the door behind her, her dark, brooding thoughts all but forgotten the moment she set eyes on the tub. It was even more inviting than she had remembered. A broad grin appeared on her face when she turned on the water. It would be a while till the tub filled up, but it would probably be worth the wait.

They hadn’t finished the bottle of wine at dinner and the way to the kitchen seemed reasonably clear in her mind. It didn’t take her long to find the bottle in the fridge and hurry back into the bathroom.

They’d had a tub in her parent’s house, but between six kids, she’d always had to share with her siblings or use their water when it was only lukewarm. Now, here, in this beautiful house, the tub was all hers. The water was hot and fresh and smelled of the lavender bubble bath she’d found in the mirrored cabinet. Carefully placing the half bottle of wine she’d found on the ground next to the tub, Alex let her robe fall to the ground and undressed.

The water was heaven. There was no other way to describe it. Warm and soothing after days of feeling cold and raw. She turned on the jets and almost immediately bubbles started building up on the surface. Many bubbles. A shitload of bubbles. Damn, maybe Jim had been right after all.

Maybe he had been right.

About everything.

About kicking her out.

He deserved better.

She was unfit for him. Had always been.

Alex sniffled. No. She would not cry now. She reached for the wine and took a deep swig. That made things better, if only for a little while.

Still, the bubbles were growing around her. They were about the height of the top of her head now. Shit. She groped around for the buttons to turn off the jets. Jim had been right.

Jim…

She downed the rest of the bottle in one swig… and froze. The door had just opened.

Alex ducked to hide behind her impenetrable wall of bubbles.

She only saw the very top of a grey head of hair move into the room.

“Miss Brooks?” Alfred muttered.

“Umm…” she cleared her throat, “yes?” Her voice was hoarse.

“Enjoying a late night bath?”

“Yes…” Alex repeated. Shit, this was embarrassing. She should have asked them first.

Alfred took a step closer until he could see her face. Alex smiled at him guiltily. “I didn’t want to wake you up, I’m sorry.”

“The silent alarm woke me, don’t worry about it, Miss. Have you been crying?”

“No…” she lied.

“Anything I might help you with, Miss?”

She shook her head. “Not unless you got a time machine hidden somewhere in the basement.”

“Afraid not,” he admitted. “This is about Detective Gordon, I assume?”

Alex nodded.

“May I speak freely?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Detective Gordon is a smart man. If he knows what’s good for him, he will forgive your mistake. He will come around in time.”

“You think so?”

“I have seen the way he looks at you. He seemed positively smitten. One doesn’t simply stop feeling like that.”

Alex swallowed. Could that really be true? Was there another chance for them? “But I… I kissed another man, Alfred. I don’t even know why.”

“Yes, I heard. But believe me when I say: everyone makes mistakes, Miss Brooks, Alex, may I call you Alex?”

She sniffled again, nodding slowly.

Alfred walked through the room, not looking directly at her, his hands clasped behind his back. “Detective Gordon isn’t free from defects either. He is well aware of that.”

“How do you know?”

“Being a servant, people tend to forget one is in the room. It has its benefits. Tends to give one a lot of time to watch and observe.”

Alex turned her head and stared at him. He was right. She hated to admit it, but even she had forgotten he was in the room once or twice, when they’d had their fancy Dinner, even when she’d been talking with Bruce earlier.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, Alex,” he said when she didn’t reply for a few minutes. He casually put the bubble bath she’d left out back into the cabinet. “I’ll bring you some fresh towels in a minute. Do you need anything else?”

Alex hesitated. Was it impertinent to…. “Umm… you wouldn’t happen to have some more wine? Sparkling maybe?”

Alfred sent a small smile her way. “I’ll see what I can come up with.”


	16. sad endings and new beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally gets her own place again... and meets Jim for the last time...

After her bubble bath and an amazing bottle of champagne, sleep had finally pulled Alex under last night. Her brain had provided her with a disturbingly realistic dream featuring Alfred, a bar of soap and a dishtowel.

The house was big enough so Bruce and Alfred could go about their routines without disturbing her. It was almost noon when she woke, well rested and slightly confused by her dream.

“We had your car towed to the authorized repair shop,” Alfred informed her over her late breakfast. Toast, eggs, bacon, freshly squeezed orange juice. Coffee was dripping into the pot as they spoke, filling the room with its aroma. The morning paper was on the table for her to peruse. She’d never cared about the news a lot and avoided the papers now even more than before. Too big was the chance of pictures of Harvey and Jim being printed. She did not need that kind of emotional throwback in her life.

Alex swallowed. Looking at Alfred felt odd, after her dream. She had to concentrate hard to focus on his words. “Thank you,” she muttered.

“Master Bruce is out in the garden, exercising. He insisted on taking you to your new apartment himself. We can leave as soon as he is done.” It had stopped raining and a few shy sunrays could be seen outside.

Alex nodded and almost choked on a sip of orange juice as Alfred wiped his hands on a dishtowel before he served her with coffee. Damn, what was wrong with her unconscious? “Thank you, Alfred. I…” she cleared her throat, ”I really don’t know how to repay you.”

“There is no need to repay us, Alex.” Alfred said, taking a cup of coffee for himself as well. “Milk?” he asked, holding a small jug towards her. “Except for one small thing: Master Bruce was quite fond of that chocolate cake of yours. Might I inquire about the recipe?”

+++

“Bruce! This place is… I can’t accept that, really! It’s too much!”

“Don’t worry, Alex. It’s okay. You can stay here as long as you want. I got the rental agreement right here. All that’s left is for you to sign it, but I understand if you want to read it first, of course. You can just bring it by the Mansion whenever you want.”

Alex sat down at her new breakfast counter, speechless. She wasn’t used to receiving anything without working for it. How was she supposed to go about this?

Alfred had walked through the other rooms, making sure everything was in order and came back to join them in the big living room-kitchen combo.

The apartment had two bedrooms, both with walk in closet and a shared en-suite bathroom, including a tub. It was on the fourth floor of a five floor building and it even had a working elevator. Of the three arched floor to ceiling windows in the living room two looked out over Robinson Park, the other faced the neighboring building, same as both bedrooms.

The crime scene from a few weeks ago was visible from the living room. Alex cringed when she thought about how good things had been back then. She had kissed Jim right down there in the park. Damn, what wouldn’t she give to feel his soft lips against hers again. The thought made her heart clench. She stepped away from the window. The sight was unbearable.   
She was nothing if not thankful for Bruce’s generosity though. Complaining about the view was about the last thing on her mind.

“I’ll write the number to the Mansion here. If you need anything, just give us a call,” Bruce offered. He hadn’t noticed her inner turmoil of course.

Alex still was too overwhelmed to speak.

“Are you quite alright, Alex?” Alfred said, stepping closer towards her, searching for what she could have been looking at through the window.

Alex nodded. “Just taking a walk down memory lane… sorry. You’ll come to dinner once I get settled, yes?”

“With pleasure!” Bruce exclaimed.

“We’ll leave you to it then. Don’t think about the past too much. Good things are coming for you, Alex. The repair shop will notify you once your car is fixed,” Alfred said. “If you need anything else, don’t hesitate to call.”

They left and Alex was alone in the quiet of her new flat.

+++

When Phil came to visit her late that same day and found out there was a spare bedroom, he declared himself her roommate and moved in within a week.

“If I have the choice between living with a bunch of dirty hippies or living with my best of friends, in a place like this, it’s pretty clear where I’ll go,” he said with utter conviction. Yea, best friends. The walk in closet and having access to a bathroom he could actually use had nothing to do with it, of course.

She was glad he was there with her though. It was nice having someone to share her thoughts with. She’d even told him about her weird dream about Alfred.

“That guy likes things clean even when he gets dirty,” Phil teased. “You’re a free woman now, go for it! He’s a sophisticated guy, I bet he could teach you a lot.”

“Remind me to never tell you about my dreams again, okay?”

+++

“Your stupid ex keeps calling me.” Phil muttered, looking at the display of his phone.

They were lounging on the sofa, watching TV, their legs entwined with each other, their upper bodies propped against one armrest each.

Alex still hadn’t gotten around to have her phone fixed and she didn’t have the money for a new one. She rolled her eyes. “What does he want?”

“I don’t know… am I supposed to pick up?”

“I mean… it could be work…”

“Bullock usually calls you for work.”

“Yea, but my phone is messed up…”

“So you want me to answer?” The phone was still ringing.

“I mean… I still got my stuff at his place… And you know, we need to pay rent in case it IS work…”

“We have a spare room… I know of another way to make rent…”

Alex kicked his shin. “Don’t even think of going there!“

“Why not?”

“Because… I don’t wanna betray Bruce’s trust.”

Phil sighed. “Spoilsport.”   
He pushed a button and lifted the phone to his ear. “James, can’t say it’s a pleasure to hear from you. What do you want? … Yea, she’s here with me.” He held the phone to his chest. “He wants to talk to you.”

Alex violently shook her head.

“Nah man… she’s… sucking someone’s dick, she can’t talk just now.” Phil said.

Alex kicked him again.

“You know what a whore she is…. Yea, I’ll tell her… Nope, definitely won’t tell her that… We’ll come by whenever we feel like it. You better be home or we’ll break open your door... Yea, you too, thanks for nothing.” He hung up.

“Was that necessary, you dumbass?” Alex muttered.

“What? You didn’t wanna talk.” He shrugged.

Alex rolled her eyes. “What did he want you to tell me?”

“Just to get your stuff ‘very soon, because he’s sick of seeing it’” he said, mocking Jim’s tone of voice.

“Did he… really say it like that?” Alex’s face fell.

“Nah man… sorry… that was just my interpretation… he said it in a very loving way.”

“Could you be serious for a second?”

“No, I can’t. You’re way too hung up about him still. Forget about him! Let’s go out and see if we can find that guy you made out with again. He seemed to be into you!”

“I’d really rather not…” Alex muttered. “But… can we go get my stuff? I’m kinda tired of wearing the five same things over and over.”

Phil shrugged. “Sure… If we go now, we can still make it to happy hour after!” He shot her a broad grin. “And if we happen to stumble over your kissing boyfriend and you really don’t want him, I’d take him every day of the week.”

+++

Alex had picked her car up the day before. When she’d asked about the bill, the clerk informed her it had been taken care of by an anonymous donor. She was pretty sure the donor’s name was either Bruce Wayne or Wayne.inc or the Pennyworth Foundation or some combination of it. The clerk would neither confirm nor deny her assumption.

It didn’t matter. The car worked and they’d even managed to fix the speedometer.

Stopping in front of the familiar building felt odd after Alex had gone out of her way to avoid it and the surrounding area for quite some time now. She took a second to collect herself before she stepped out of the car.

“You good?” Phil said.

“I’ll have to be,” she muttered, nervously hugging herself.

“We can do this another day if you feel bad about it, you know…”

Alex shook her head. “Nah, I’m good, come on.”

Jim buzzed them in and they went upstairs.

They heard Jim’s neighbor behind her door, probably watching them through the spyhole. Alex held on to Phil’s shirt as they waited for the door to open. She hadn’t seen Jim since he’d kicked her out. Her heart raced with agitation.  
“Hi…” she croaked, cursing her voice for betraying her in this time of need. Damn, this was hard. Had Jim always looked so damn good?

He stepped aside and let them pass. “I put everything in those boxes,” he said. His face was blank, his voice carefully neutral.

“I…” Alex swallowed nervously. She had thought long and hard about what she’d say to him, but her brain had shut down for the moment. Damn, she should have written her speech down.

Phil stepped away from her and grabbed the first box. “You got three minutes till I’m coming for the next one,” he said, “make it quick, whatever you decide to do.”

Alex looked at Jim. He turned away and fled towards the kitchen. “Want some coffee?” he said.

“Nah… Phil wants to go to happy hour later, we don’t have too much time. Thanks though,” she added as an afterthought.

Jim remained standing where he was, back towards her. Alex took an unsure step towards him. Did walking always feel that awkward? “Jim… can you please look at me?”

“I’d rather not…”

“I… shit, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I don’t think I could say it often enough.” She took another few steps in his direction. Were her knees always that weak?

If she reached out now, she would almost be able to touch him. Could she? She still remembered how his broad shoulders felt under her fingers, how soft his hair was, how he’d close his eyes if she touched the back of his neck…

“Getting the second box, time’s a’ ticking!” Phil called, making both of them tense up.

Jim turned around. Damn, he looked sad. Tired, older. Alex wanted to comfort him, hold him until he fell asleep in her arms. “You look tired,” she muttered instead.

“Been busy. Crime doesn’t sleep.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Alex took another tentative step towards him. They were almost touching now. She licked her lips, looking up at him. Her hand moved forward almost of its own accord.

“Don’t do this,” Jim said. “Just… get your stuff and leave.”

“So this is it?” Alex said, letting her arm sink again. She tried to blink away the tears that formed in the corners of her eyes.

“Yea.” He rushed past her and into the bedroom. Something seemed to urgently require his attention there.

“Okay…” Alex whispered. The first tear flowed down her cheek and she didn’t bother wiping it away.

Phil, who’d just come back in, took one glance at her and his face darkened. “You’re making a huge mistake, James…,” he yelled. “You’ll never find one like Alex again. Your good looks will only keep for so much longer…”

Alex grabbed his arm and shook her head. She bit her trembling lip and swallowed down her tears. Jim had made his decision. It wasn’t his problem if she didn’t like it.

She took the last box and carried it out the door. She didn’t know what she’d expected, but this had not been it.

The elevator was still on their floor. She stepped into the cab and waited for Phil, placing her leg so the door would stay open.

What was he doing that was taking him so long? She was about to go back, when he came out of Jim’s place, carefully closing the door behind him. He had pulled off his jacket and carried it on his arm, an impish grin on his face.

“What did you do?” Alex muttered, frowning at the crumpled up jacket.

“Stole his toaster.” Phil chuckled.

+++

Jim’s POV

He didn’t know what he’d expected, but this definitely had not been it.

He had wanted to touch her, smell her, taste her, loose himself in the feeling of her body against his. Instead he’d acted all cold and detached and made her cry. He hated to see her cry. He had broken her heart over again.

Doubts about whether or not he had overreacted about all of this had been tormenting him almost since day one. Even more so now that she was gone for good.

Harvey had refused to state his opinion, understandably claiming he was sitting between chairs. Lee had backed his decision. Alex had cheated on him. He deserved better. She had repeated that like a mantra whenever she’d seen him feeling down.

Phil’s words echoed in his head now, much louder than anything Lee could say to make him feel better. “You’ll never find one like Alex again.” He hated to admit it, but Phil was right. Alex was one of a kind and he knew it.

He saw the pair walk towards Alex’s car down on the street. Phil opened the trunk and she struggled to put in the last box. Phil put his jacket in the trunk as well, before Alex threw herself into his arms and buried her face against his chest.

Jim turned around. He couldn’t face them.

He walked past the spot where the boxes had been standing for the past weeks. It looked uncomfortably empty. Alex had left his life for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this was some more heartbreak, I hope the few jokes I threw in between made things a bit more bearable.   
> Next chapter will be dramatic again...   
> After that, there'll only be a few more chapters... the end is nigh!


	17. Housewarming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey and Jim come to Phil and Alex's new place. Not for leisure though.  
> And Harvey goes full parent mode

Sharing an apartment again was like the old times… except for: this place was much nicer, so the whole situation was infinitely better. Gotham kept them busy with jobs and they made enough money to comfortably live their lives even without Phil using their spare room for his illicit business ideas.

They had just come home after cleaning up the scene of a bank robbery. It had been one of their more pleasant jobs. Barely any blood, lots of money on the floors, some of which mysteriously got lost, and the banks’ usual cleaning lady to help them.

Phil relaxed on the sofa, wearing his beloved silken Kimono, Alex had just come out of the bathroom, toweling off her hair, already wearing her pajamas: a pair of booty shorts and the shirt she’d stolen from Jim. It was late and the sun had almost set outside their beautiful arched windows.

The ringing on the doorbell made them look at each other. “Are we expecting anyone?” Phil muttered, one eyebrow pulled up.

“Not that I’d recall…”

The doorbell rang again. “GCPD! Open up!” A familiar voice shouted. Shit.

“Did you… you didn’t do anything illegal, did you?” Alex whispered, slowly getting to her feet and sneaking towards the door. Was her mind playing tricks on her or had that voice been Jim’s?

“Not more than usual,” Phil muttered.

Alex carefully checked the peephole. Yes it most definitely was Jim, standing in front of their door, holding up his badge for her to see. And the day had started so well…

With shaking hands, she turned the key, taking a steadying breath before opening the door.

“Good evening Ma’am, sorry to interrupt….” Jim said, before his brain caught up with his mouth. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” Alex said, crossing her arms.

“You… live here.” Jim repeated disbelievingly.

“Nobody’s home downstairs.” Harvey breathlessly came up the stairs. He too froze when he saw Alex in the doorway. She had told him she had a new fancy place but he hadn’t yet gotten around to come see it.

“She lives here.” Jim explained nonchalantly, eliciting an impressed nod from Harvey.

“What do you want? We didn’t do anything!” Alex said defensively.

“We?” Jim asked, pushing the door open a bit more so he could look past her.

“I thought you were joking when you said you lived on Cameron Street!” Harvey said, pushing past her and openly looking around.

“Well sure, come in then,” Alex mumbled more for formality than for anything else.

Harvey had already found the fridge and helped himself to a beer. He leisurely walked through the living room, making no secret of his curiosity.

Jim reluctantly entered as well and Alex closed the door behind him, feeling somewhat awkward in her nightclothes and wet hair. She self-consciously tried taming the wet strands with her fingers when Jim didn’t look.

Phil got up from the sofa, carefully straightening his Kimono. “Harvey,” what brings you to our humble abode? Oh, and James is here too… of course!” He walked towards the breakfast counter and sat down on one of the barstools, slowly crossing his long, hairy legs and leaning his elbow on the counter.

“Your Kimono does the thing again…” Alex muttered, motioning towards Phil’s waist area without looking. Phil claimed he didn’t enjoy being confined within his own four walls and therefore refused to wear anything under the Kimono, much to Alex’s chagrin. She tended to get a lot more insight than she’d like.

Phil lazily switched his legs, tucking everything out of sight.

Jim groaned audibly. He walked a few steps and stopped. “That’s my toaster.”

Phil cleared his throat. “And how would you come to that conclusion, Detective?”

“I used to have the exact same one. It coincidentally went missing on the same day you and Alex were there to pick up her stuff,” Jim sarcastically said.

“We bought this appliance with our own honest money that we made doing our honest job!” Phil got up from his stool and crossed his spindly arms. He towered over Jim but his whole frame looked ridiculously slim in comparison. He wouldn’t stand a chance in a fair fight. Not against Jim, not against anyone else; which was why Phil generally didn’t fight fairly.

“You sure about that?”

“I’ve never done anything illegal in my life!” Phil said with utter conviction.

Harvey snorted. “Keep telling yourself that, Buddy.” He had finished his round and sat down on the second stool, placing his beer on the counter in a familiar movement.

“Are you going to let them talk to me like that, Alex?”

Alex had been watching them quietly. She didn’t know how to act around Jim. Was this purely business? Or should she try to talk to him once more? She was beyond apologizing at this point, but still felt like they hadn’t talked things out properly. “You can take it back, if you want,” she simply said.

“No you can’t! I need it to make my toast!” Phil protested. He protectively built himself up before the toaster. He looked utterly ridiculous, trying to act all big and intimidating in his much too short Kimono.

Jim shook his head. “Keep it,” he muttered. “But do me a favor and go see a shrink. Your kleptomania is getting out of hand.”

“This wasn’t my kleptomania. This was about revenge.” Phil hissed, slowly turning away.

Jim ignored him. He walked towards the big windows, looking out intently.

“Why are you here?” Alex said, following him at some distance.

“Why are you wearing my shirt?” he countered. “What else did you steal from me?” He looked around inquisitively.

“I didn’t steal it. It fell into my bag, when I packed… You want it back or what?” She reached for the hem and started pulling it up.

Jim nervously cleared his throat. “Keep it,” he muttered.

Good to know she could still make him nervous. “Can’t do right by you. Why are you here?” she repeated.

“The woman in that flat over there was killed last night,” Jim explained, pointing to the neighboring building. “Did you see anything?”

Alex shook her head. “We were out last night… only came back early this morning.” He wanted to talk business, he could have business.

“Drinking? You’re looking good, considering…” Jim said, looking her up and down.

“Umm… is that supposed to be a compliment?” She raised an eyebrow at him. Alright, business talk was over, it seemed. His rapid change of pace would give her whiplash if he kept that up.

“Take it as you want… you might want to think over your choice in men though,” he said, motioning at her thigh.

She looked down on herself as well. There were five finger-shaped bruises on her leg, just above the knee. “I think you lost the right to berate me about my choice in men at about the same time you kicked me out of your life.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Alex.”

“Last time I checked, you hurt me a considerable amount.”

“I meant physically.”

“How about you mind your own business, you jealous ass!” Okay, that had come out much more aggressive than she’d intended.

“I would, if I could be sure you don’t get yourself in trouble!” He remained calm, despite her hostility. Of course he did. He was used to people making asses of themselves.

“And what if I enjoy getting in trouble? What if I enjoy a man who knows what he wants and isn’t too scared to show me?” Might as well go down that road, now they were on it.

“Is this what you think? Because it didn’t seem that way, last time I checked.”

“It’s none of your fucking business what I think! It stopped being your business about a month ago!”

“You will never stop being my business.” Jim calmly said.

“I can look after my fucking self!”

“You obviously can’t… stupidly going for men that hurt you…”

“Stupid? Did you really just call me stupid?” Alex felt the last straw break. She was done. Slowly, she turned away. “Wow…”

No. She wasn’t done actually. He’d called her stupid! How dare he? In one smooth movement, she turned around, fist clenched, building up momentum, leaning her full weight into it, like Harvey had taught her.

Jim, being very used to being attacked, even though probably not by his exes, caught hold of her fist long before she even came close to his face.

Alright, that had been stupid. She had hoped she’d get at least the little satisfaction of touching his chin with her knuckles, but no. Not even that.

He stared at her over her balled fist, slowly pushing it downwards. Damn, he was strong.

Alex’s chest heaved and sank. She felt more breathless than the small movement justified. They were touching, their bodies very close. Closer than they’d been in a while. She could smell him. His aftershave, a very light sheen of sweat after a long day of work, his very own warm, comforting scent. And still he held on to her. For the first time since their breakup, they looked into each other’s eyes. Both froze in the moment. Damn, she wanted to do all kinds of things to him… barely any of them violent.

“Alex! Calm down right this second!” Harvey was suddenly there, stepping between them, forcing the two apart. No more than a few seconds had passed, since she’d lost her shit. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“He called me stupid!” Alex tried defending herself.

“She never stood a chance, Harv. It’s okay.” Jim jumped to her defense as well.

“I know she didn’t. Your form is awful, Alex! I’m ashamed!”

“She’s right though!” Phil interjected, slowly moving in between them as well. Space was getting spare with both Harvey and Jim trying to separate them and Harvey stepped aside with a mildly disturbed look on his face, rubbing his ass where Phil had rubbed up against him.

Phil didn’t seem bothered at all. He slowly turned towards Jim, continuing as if nothing had happened. “You lost the right to her body when you kicked her to the curb, man. And this? I did that.” He put his hand on her thigh. The bruises perfectly matched his fingers. “We were wrestling and it got a bit rough. She gave it to me good too, see?” He shrugged out of his Kimono and exposed his bruised shoulder. “I’d never let a guy treat her that way, James! What kind of a friend do you think I am?”

“Umm… you don’t need to fucking protect me… neither of you…” Alex threw in. “And my form isn’t that bad, Harvey.”

“Shhh… I’m trying to protect you here,” Phil put his finger on her lips, completely ignoring her words. “She can fuck whoever she wants, James. As can you! You’re a handsome guy, women must be knocking down your door now you’re single again, am I right?” he extended his closed fist towards Jim for a fistbump.

Jim ignored his outstretched fist and shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

Alex exhaled audibly.

“Anything you want to say?” Harvey elbowed her.

She sighed. “Sorry for trying to punch you.”

“Yea, that’s what I thought,” Harvey muttered. “Let’s go, Jim. We got a job to do.” Turning back to Alex, he added “I’ll come over soon. We’ll have a serious talk about your behavior. Don’t look at me like that! You act like a kid, I’ll treat you like a kid! I don’t care whether you’re 9 or 90. Thanks for the beer,” he muttered and then they were out the door.


	18. 4 years later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 years have passed. Gotham is fucked (this is Season 5 now, so if you haven't watched it, consider yourself warned!).   
> Alex hasn't left the city of course. She decides to help... and fate reconnects her with Jim once again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains a major Season 5 spoiler, so if you haven't seen it yet, consider yourself warned!

A lot had happened in the past years. Things had been good, then bad, then okay. A couple men and even one woman had come and gone from Alex’s life, but no one had been able to live up to Jim. No one ever would.

Harvey had kept her up to date with Jim’s life. As she had expected, he’d gotten in a relationship with Lee soon after their breakup. Things had worked out for a while… and then they hadn’t. Alex couldn’t say she was sad about that.

None of that mattered now though. The world was all fucked up… well… Gotham was fucked up. For its inhabitants, it might as well be the world. All the bridges to and from the city had been blown up, leaving Gotham and the few inhabitants that hadn’t made it out in time to fend for themselves.

Harvey had warned them to get out of the City a few hours before shit had went down. Both Phil and Alex had ignored him. Now, a few months later, slowly but surely, both had to admit it might have been a better idea to just abandon ship.

Crime skyrocketed, Gangs took over, taking territories as their own, killing, stealing, abducting people to do whatever with them. Alex had never been a big fan of weapons, but even she had started carrying a hatchet wherever she went. A girl had to be able to defend herself in this new, anarchist world.

Harvey had been mad when he’d found out they hadn’t left town despite his warnings. For the first time in her life, he had shouted at her, really, actually shouted. Of course, after he had calmed down, he’d told her to come to the Precinct if she needed anything. He and Jim and the rest of the Police Force that hadn’t left were working their asses off 24/7, trying to keep some semblance of order.

Phil had gotten a couple of guns from “a friend” and had hidden them all over their flat and had at least one on him every hour of the day. He’d never had any training, but he claimed as a Gothamite, shooting guns was in his blood. “Just point and pull the trigger, how hard can it be?”

Phil and Alex were the only residents in their building who hadn’t left. It felt odd, walking up and down the stairs – yes, stairs again. There was no electricity so no more elevators, not even in a building owned by Bruce Wayne – knowing full well there was no one but them… or even worse, wondering if there was someone hiding, watching. Alex made it up the stairs in record time each time she was alone. The kind of thing fear can make you do…

Their building was close to the GCPD, located in the so called green zone. Compared to most other zones, they had it good.

+++

Having access to a working kitchen including a working dishwasher, Alex had found her love for cooking again. From there it had only been a small step towards starting a small garden on the roof of their building. A year later, she had built a small chicken coop and bought five chickens. Phil had made fun of her for it and reminded her of her Cowgirl upbringing each time she went upstairs. She had told him to fuck off and get his own hobby instead of harassing her about hers.

She didn’t harvest huge amounts of produce or eggs but she loved cooking with the stuff she’d grown herself and had made it a habit to invite Bruce and Alfred once a month to cook for them, as a thanks for giving her the flat. They had become quite friendly with each other over the years.

Growing her own vegetables had made things easier before and made life bearable even now when food was getting harder and harder to come by.

“So, umm…” Alex muttered. She was tending to her plants, her back to Phil who was chilling in the sun, guarding their little farm, throwing single grain kernels at the chickens through the wiring. “I was thinking I could get some of this stuff to the GCPD. People there probably haven’t had anything fresh in weeks…”

“But… It’s our food. We worked hard growing it!” Phil objected, stopping his game to focus on her.

“First: you didn’t lift a finger and second: do we really want to be THOSE people? There’s children starving in the streets, Phil. We have enough. We can share.”

“I hate children!” He threw the rest of his kernels through the wire all at once, leaning back in his chair and letting the sun shine onto his belly.

“Yea, me too… but I don’t want them to starve.”

Phil sighed and Alex knew she had won the argument. Why not go one step farther while she was at it? “I need you to help me go there. Or do I have to make the trek on my own?”

“Seriously, Alex? You’re such a fucking jolly do-gooder.”

She got to her feet and slowly walked towards him. “You sure you wanna talk like that to the woman with the tools?” She threateningly lifted her garden claw towards him.

“Fuck,” he squirmed, “I hate to say, but… I’m kinda turned on just now, in a weird, creeped out way. You should make that move when Wrench comes over next time. He’ll love it!”

+++

The next morning, Phil and Alex packed a backpack full of veggies and eggs each and started their trek. It was only a few streets that separated them from the Precinct, still it was dangerous. Alex had her hatchet in her belt and, upon Phil’s insistence, had added the gardening claw on the other side. Phil carried two visible guns and a hidden knife. One never knew who they’d meet.

They walked at as fast a pace as their heavy backpacks allowed. The Precinct was safe. The streets were not. If the wrong person figured out they were carrying food, they’d be dead, no questions asked. Food was precious. And hungry people were unpredictable.

They made it to the Precinct unharmed. Phil seemed almost disappointed.

The house was as good as empty. Only a few Officers hurried through the main floor, the rest of them were probably out on the streets, risking their lives. It felt odd, being in the once so familiar building again. Alex hadn’t been here for years. She took a few seconds to acclimatize and look around. Whoever was in charge would be up on the Gallery. That was where Phil and Alex were headed.

“You good?” Phil asked.

Alex nodded… and froze when she noticed Jim on the Gallery. He looked older, more mature and incredibly tired. And he had noticed her too. She saw his jaw work, even at that distance.

“Come on,” Phil said, pulling her along by the strap of her backpack, leading her up the stairs.

Alex’s mouth went dry. She had hoped Jim wouldn’t be there. But then, he was Captain now. He probably slept on a cot somewhere inside the building. Damn, maybe this had been a bad idea. There were over 200 refugees. The amount of food they were carrying was ridiculous. They should have kept it for themselves. Fuck.

“Phil,” Jim slowly said, “Alex…”

Alex’s knees went weak. She hadn’t heard his voice in so long. It sounded rougher than before.

“We come bearing gifts,” Phil proudly announced. He stopped and put his backpack on the ground.

Alex remained standing at the top of the stairs, glad Phil loved hearing himself talk. It gave her time to stare at Jim, mouth slightly open. Fuck. She hadn’t been aware how much she was still hung up on him. Her heart felt as if it might jump out of her chest any second now.

Jim took a few tentative steps toward Phil, crouching down to inspect the vegetables inside his backpack but his eyes kept wandering towards Alex.

“We grew them,” Phil proudly said. “And we took those from our chickens,” he carefully reached into his jacket pocket and brought out two eggs.

Alex barely heard him. Her eyes had met Jim’s.

Jim got to his feet and took a slow step towards her, and another. Alex struggled out of her backpack and carefully put it to the ground.

Free of her burden, she just barely managed to get to her feet before Jim crushed her in his embrace. Her arms found their way around the once so familiar body. He had lost weight. There was some grey in his beard and on his temples, but he still smelled the same. Being in his arms again felt absolutely perfect; save, warm. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, four years worth of sweet nothings flashed through her head all at once, but the only thing that came out was a hoarse “I missed you.”

“Me too,” he said. She felt the familiar sensation of him pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Aww… now isn’t that just lovely?” a female voice sneered from behind Alex. “Seems like my timing is on point!”

Jim looked up but didn’t let go of Alex. “Barbara… what…”

“I just wanted to quickly let you know I’m pregnant. And it’s yours.”

Alex felt Jim stiffen.

 

Jim’s POV

It was day 82 of his own personal hell. Jim could count the full nights of sleep he’d had since the beginning on both hands and didn’t even need to use all of his fingers. He was dead tired. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep going like that.

He looked down over the main floor, at the sad remains of his Police Force. A lot of his people had fled the city. And he couldn’t blame them. With all support of the government gone, he couldn’t pay them. He wouldn’t even be able to feed them for much longer. Refugees kept coming. A new couple arrived as he watched.

No. Those weren’t refugees. That was Phil… and… Alex. In full warrior gear. No, not warrior. Gardening gear? She had a hatchet and a gardening claw on her belt, her hair held in place by a dirty bandana. He swallowed nervously.

She saw him too and stopped. Phil pulled her after him and they made their way up towards the Gallery.

“We come bearing gifts,” Phil said.

Jim barely heard him. His whole focus was on Alex. She looked older, but not less beautiful. Her skin was glowing, her hair was full and shiny and he’d bet it was silky soft as it had always been.

Phil putting his backpack on the ground and opening it, caught his attention for a moment. He had brought fresh vegetables. Where had they stolen that from?

“We grew them,” Phil proudly answered his unasked question. “And we took those from our chickens.” He showed him a couple of eggs.

Jim was nothing if not thankful but right in this moment, Alex was much more important. Alex. He hadn’t seen her in so long. He had almost forgotten the way his body had always reacted to her. Heart racing, brain slowing down, dick tingling.

He took a step towards her and she carefully dropped her backpack. He wrapped his arms around her before she’d even gotten back to her feet. Damn, he had missed her, the feeling of her body fitting against his, the smell of her hair...

“I missed you,” she whispered.

… the sound of her voice. “Me too” he muttered. Her hair felt as soft as he’d imagined. She had lost some weight, no wonder; food was becoming scarce, but she still felt perfect against him, all soft and tender curves.

“Aww… now isn’t that just lovely?” a much too familiar voice interrupted his moment of leisure. “Seems like my timing is on point!”

He felt himself tense up. Where Alex made him feel relaxed and at ease, Barbara had the exact opposite effect. “Barbara, what…”

“I just wanted to quickly let you know I’m pregnant. And it’s yours,” she said. He felt like she’d dropped a bomb at him. And that was probably exactly what she’d intended.

Now he felt Alex stiffen as well. She didn’t pull away though, just twisted her head to look at Barbara.

“Are you… sure?” Jim slowly said. He loosened his grip on Alex. It would have felt odd to talk to Barbara about being pregnant while holding on to another woman. Alex reluctantly let go, but didn’t move far away.

“Umm… yea… I’m mostly into women these days, except for you… Fucking women doesn’t usually result in pregnancy, you know… But anyways… I see you’re busy with other… things,” she gave Alex a disapproving once over – some things really never seemed to change, “so I’ll leave you to it. I just thought I’d let you know,” she shrugged and shot him her patented fake grin.

“Whoa, James, you don’t miss out on anything, huh?” Phil interjected from the side. Jim had almost forgotten he was still there. “I mean, knocking her up? That seems stupid! In this day any age especially, but I’d still tap that ass!”

Barbara turned to look at him and shook her head in exaggerated disgust. “Eww,” she muttered, turned around and stalked off.

Should he go after her? If she said the truth and really was carrying his child… but Alex was here… after such a long time… And knowing Barbara, this was probably one of her schemes again. They had only done it the once…

“That was unnecessary,” Phil said, bringing him back to the real world. “Where do you want this?” He motioned at their filled backpacks.

Jim absentmindedly directed him downwards to the storage area and Phil left them alone, carrying both packs. Barbara had left the building.

Alex had sat down at the lone desk they’d put on the gallery. It held the radio and a couple casefiles Harvey had been working on. He smiled at the familiar sight. It reminded him of better days, when he’d found her sitting in that exact position countless times, waiting for him or for Harvey. She looked up when he came closer a quizzical look on her face. “Was she serious?”

“I don’t know.”

“But did you…”

“Yea…” He looked at the floor, not wanting to see the look on her face.

She hesitated for a few painful heartbeats. She’d run off any second now, he was sure of that. After he’d only just gotten her back, “Hmm…” she said, “we’ll probably find out sooner or later.” She seemed unsure, but got up and walked towards him anyways.

His knees went weak with relief. She would always come back to him. No judgement, accepting him with all his numerous mistakes. How could he ever have been stupid enough to let her go?

She tentatively reached for his hand and stepped into his line of vision. “You look tired,” she muttered, moving even closer.

“Crime doesn’t sleep,” he answered truthfully.

Alex laughed. “You say that every time.” She closed the last distance between them and reached up to touch his face. He hadn’t been aware until now how much he’d longed to feel her skin against his. He’d thought Barbara had comforted him, but this was another level. This was pure and real in body and soul. He closed his eyes, allowed himself to revel in her touch.

The crinkle of the radio rudely yanked him back to the real world.

“What is this thing? Looks like a relic from a hundred years ago,” Alex muttered. She looked like she wanted to smash the radio with a sledgehammer for destroying their moment.

“It’s our only means of communication with the mainland.” Jim said, reluctantly moving towards the machine. He checked his watch and reached for the handpiece to make his daily report. People on the mainland probably didn’t care about it, but it gave him a sense of purpose and control.

+++

Alex’s POV

Alex wasn’t entirely sure what she’d do with Jim now. If Barbara really was pregnant… No. That was probably bullshit anyways. She wouldn’t let that destroy the new chance they had gotten. She’d force herself to stay away for much too long. They could reconnect; get to know each other again; start anew. This was good.   
She had wasted too much time telling herself she didn’t have any feelings for him anymore, when she clearly still had a LOT of feelings. And he seemed to feel the same. Damn Barbara and her stories to hell.

She watched him from a little distance away, how he spoke to some military General about how fucked up they were. Alex hadn’t been aware the situation was quite so dire. No wonder Jim looked like death warmed over. They were almost out of food, almost out of ammo, almost out of men. On the other hand, they were rich in refugees and hungry mouths to fill. How were they supposed to do that without any help from outside? To keep more than 250 people alive was no small feat.

Jim’s face was earnest. He spoke in short, precise sentences, fully focused on his task.

Alex stepped closer to him and carefully put her hand on his shoulder, silently telling him he was not alone. He leaned toward her the tiniest bit but didn’t interrupt his report.

“We’re fucked,” Alex muttered when he was finished.

Jim silently nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on another little insert into the story of what happens in the 4 years I'll leave out in this main story. The other thing doesn't have Jim in it, and probably very little Harvey as well... it will be mostly me, enoying the Main Characters I created and a lot of crack and some smut... just saying ;)


	19. Another chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New problems keep coming up for Jim to solve. But who is going to help HIM solve his problems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes off right after the last chapter ended...   
> sorry it took me so long to write this, I'm having some mental issues these days that make it kinda hard to concentrate and I can't write half as much as I'd like to...

“Jim, we got a situation….” Harvey froze midstride, turning to Alex. “What are you doing here?”

“I… I think Jim and I made up?” Alex said insecurely eyeing Jim.

He nodded.

“I’ll drink to that once the current crisis is overcome,” Harvey said, focusing on Jim.

“What happened?” Jim got up and switched off the radio.

“Military just arrive, to take back the city.”

“Why now?” Jim muttered.

“And why didn’t they say anything about that when you were chatting just now?” Alex added. She wasn’t a big fan of anything military. A group of heavily armed people who didn’t bother thinking for themselves, just chose to blindly follow orders didn’t seem like a good way to win this battle. This was Gotham, her city, her home, not a battleground.

Jim nodded. “That too…” He frowned.

Harvey was waiting at the top of the stairs and Jim walked towards him. He turned towards Alex once more before descending. “Go home,” he said, “lock the door. Do you still live on Cameron Street?”

Alex nodded.

“I’ll come see you as soon as possible. We’ll talk.”

“I…” she swallowed nervously. She hated the thought of letting Jim run towards danger again so soon after they’d only just reconnected; if he died now… No. She couldn’t start thinking along those lines. He’d made it that far, he wouldn’t die now. Life wasn’t THAT unfair. “Okay,” Alex nodded slowly. The military being here would make all kinds of people crawl out of their holes. She didn’t want to be outside when that happened. She had to find Phil.

Staying in the city had been a stupid idea from the very beginning. People kept on dying and something told her putting more weapons in the middle of it all wouldn’t make things better for a while yet.   
One man after another was marching in by the main entrance and Alex had no urge to get to know those guys better. They looked scary with their rifles and helmets and bulletproof vests. Jim, in his suit and tie looked tiny in comparison, defenseless. Damn, she hated to leave him with those people.

She took a moment to watch what was happening, half hidden behind a corner. One of the soldiers, probably their leader, stepped forward towards Jim. Alex couldn’t hear what they were saying as there were too many people between them, but the two men greeted each other like old friends. And they might well be. Jim had been in the military before he’d come to Gotham…

Turning around, she hurried towards the storage area. Phil was already waiting for her. He had both their backpacks, empty now, and was ready to go. “Come on, let’s go, hurry up!”

Alex knew the look on his face. He had pocketed something. Despite herself, it made her smile. Phil was awful, but she wouldn’t change him for the world.

It had been quiet outside earlier. Now, military vehicles blocked the street and more soldiers were getting out of the cars. Alex didn’t like the look of them. Something about all this seemed shady. Why had nobody mentioned they’d send a military unit when Jim had been talking on the radio? This made no sense…

The soldiers gave them sideways glances as they walked out of the parking lot behind the precinct, but seemed uninterested. Just some civilians, trying to find food, Alex tried to broadcast. She seemed to succeed. The soldiers let them pass unbothered.

+++

Turned out, Phil had stolen two boxes of cookies. That was… unexpected.

“Why’d they even have cookies?” Alex muttered, biting into one of them. Their candy stash had long gone, as had the stock in the convenience stores in their close vicinity. Sugar was becoming rare, as did most other food. Cookies really were a special treat in this day and age. They’d have to pace themselves… or not…

Phil was stuffing the third cookie into his mouth. He could barely close his lips at this point. “Don’ kno, don’ cawe!” he mumbled, spewing crumbles.

Alex snatched the box from him. “Pace yourself!”

Phil pouted, then something else came to his mind. His face changed and he quickly chewed and swallowed, nodding his head along with his bites. “So,” he licked his lips, swallowing once more, “what were you and Jim talking about?”

“Nothing really… just… we’re fucked. The whole city’s fucked.”

“Everyone but the two of you, huh?” Phil elbowed her, proud of his dumb joke.

“Sure…“ Alex groaned, rolling her eyes.

“But what’s next?”

“I don’t know… I really don’t…” she sighed.

+++

Alex went to bed early. With the electricity out, there wasn’t a lot anyone could do once sun set. She was half asleep when she heard someone knock at their entry door.

Phil was still rummaging around in the living room. They were running out of a lot of things, weed didn’t seem to be one of them. And he didn’t need any light for that. Alex didn’t bother getting up. He’d deal with whoever came to see them at this hour.

She had almost dozed off when the door to her room opened. “Alex?” Phil whispered. “Are you awake?”

“What…” Alex groaned.

“You have a visitor!”

“What!” Alex groaned louder.

“It’s Jim… can I send him in?”

“WHAT?!” Alex sat up in bed. How late was it? Why was he here?

The door was pulled open and Phil was replaced by Jim, carrying a single candle. The flickering light was enough for her to see how awful he looked; hair ruffled, eyes tired, a shallow gash on his cheek, blood on his shirt. Alex practically jumped to her feet, ignoring the black spots that appeared around the edges of her field of vision.

“What happened?” she asked.

Jim exhaustedly shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it…” His shoulders slumped.

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. “Do you need anything? Food? A shower? A drink?”

Jim shook his head again. He took a few steps towards her and put his arms around her, placing his tired head on her shoulder. He seemed done, with the day, with life, with everything. She’d never seen him like that. She hugged him, softly petting his back. “It’s okay,” she whispered, working hard to sound unbothered, while inside her chest her heart clenched with pain. It physically hurt her to see him like that.

Jim put more of his weight on her, trusting her to be able to carry it.

Alex hated to see him like that. “Come on, let’s get to bed,” she said, pulling away from him a bit to get him out of his clothes. Undressing him felt oddly familiar.

He winced when she pulled his jacket over his shoulders. Sadly, that too was a familiar reaction. He got hurt too much.

“You okay?”

“Yea,” he said through gritted teeth, carefully shrugging off his jacket.

Alex watched him pull off his tie, unbutton his shirt. The candle flickered with his movements and painted deep shadows on his face and body. It made him look even more tired. She expected him to topple over and fall asleep every moment now. Everyone had a breaking point, even Jim, and it looked like he was close to reaching it.

Once he was out of his shirt, Alex saw why he had winced. His shoulder was one huge bruise, dark and purplish blue. Moving must hurt like crazy. “What happened?” Alex asked, motioning to his shoulder.

“Penguin…” he muttered. Despite his clothes being dirty, he folded his pants before he hung them on the chair over his jacket and shirt. He was in his usual black boxers and a white undershirt. Alex could smell a slight note of sweat coming from him and wondered when he’d last found the time to take a shower. Clean water was getting scarce. She knew it and limited herself to quick five minute washes every few days and cat baths in between. That was all the cold water she could take anyways. She had lost all tolerance she’d built up in her old, crappy place.

Jim looked absolutely forlorn where he stood, almost undressed, bruised and beaten up. Alex put her arms around him and maneuvered him towards the bed.

“Remember that one time… we hadn’t even started dating…” Jim slowly said, getting settled under the covers. “You were dead drunk and fell asleep against my shoulder…”

Alex nodded. “That must have happened much more than once though,” she chuckled, crawling into bed next to him. It felt odd but familiar at the same time.  

“Yea,” Jim sighed. “But I never slept better than in those first few nights with you…” He moved towards Alex, careful not to strain his bruised shoulder. “I missed you,” he said.

She was surprised when he pulled her arm to the side and rested his head between her chest and shoulder. He had never done that before. Alex went with it. He obviously needed some comfort with everything that was going on. She put her arm on his waist, the other on his arm and held him. “I missed you too,” she muttered, kissing the top of his head.

Something wet touched her shoulder and she realized he was crying. Strong, hard Jim was actually crying. The city must really be going to shit. His life probably too. Alex sniffled as well. Seeing him like that, falling apart, done with the world made her want to punch every single one of his enemies in the face. She wrapped her arms around him tighter. At least for the moment, she could make him help carry the weight of a whole city on his shoulders.  

Soon, his breathing evened out and sleep pulled him under. Alex lay awake for a while longer, worrying, wondering how she could help him. He must be awfully alone if he resorted to sleeping with Barbara again.

+++

The crackle of Jim’s radio on her dresser woke her up in the morning. Jim was still sleeping. That must be a first. Carefully, she freed herself from his embrace without waking him. He needed the rest.

Alex hastily grabbed the radio and pressed it against her chest, hoping to muffle the noise. Whoever this was would have to make do a few more hours without him.

She made it out of her room, closing the door behind her, hurrying into the kitchen with his radio, hoping that was far enough so Jim wouldn’t be woken by whoever called him at this ungodly hour.

“Jim, buddy, are you there?” Alex frowned. Was that Harvey?

It took her a moment to find the button. “Harvey?” she asked.

There was no reply for a few seconds, only static. “Alex? What are you doing with Jim’s radio?”

“Jim’s asleep…”

“Where the hell are you?”

“Home…”

“I’m sorry, what?” His voice sounded tinny through the radio. Alex still heard the surprise in his voice.

“He showed up here in the middle of the night, bruised and battered. He needed some comfort. And before you ask, I won’t wake him up. He needs sleep too, just like every other person.”

“Alex, I need to talk to him. This is important.”

“Yea well… too bad. He can’t help anyone if he works himself to death.”

Static filled the channel. “I hate to admit this, but you’re right. Have him call me when he wakes up.”

“Will do,” Alex nodded and switched off the radio, putting it in the fridge, hoping the insulation was enough to keep it from making noise again.

She went back into her room on tiptoes and crawled into bed next to him again. Without really waking, Jim wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his face against her neck. It tickled, but she had missed sleeping next to him, all safe and sound. No one else could ever measure up to him. It had been stupid to ever assume otherwise. From his soft, even breathing she deduced he felt much of the same. Knowing him and his sleeping patterns, Alex took it as a huge compliment how he could let himself relax around her. The city could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That last part, with Alex comforting Jim, I've wanted to write a scene like that ever since the first time I saw the first few episodes of Season 5. Seeing Jim like that made me want to cry, but he finally gets the hug he deserves!


	20. The last mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex goes with Jim to meet an old acquaintance. Big mistake.

“How late is it?” Jim jerked upright.

Alex was half dozing next to him. She slowly opened her eyes, yawning, while he already got out of bed.

“Where’s my radio?” he said.

Alex luxuriously stretched and rubbed her eyes before slowly answering. “In the fridge.”

“I said radio.” Jim looked down at her. How did he go from asleep to awake so fast?

“Yea, and I said fridge.” She rubbed her eyes and sat up. “I didn’t want it to wake you up.”

“You… It’s supposed to wake me up!” He strode out the door, obviously annoyed. So much for their happy reunion.

Alex took her time getting up and slowly padded after him, rubbing a hand through her hair, yawning some more.

“Finally!” Harvey’s tinny voice exclaimed. “You had a nice night while the rest of us fought to keep the city from destruction, yes?”

Jim looked at Alex accusingly.

Alex shrugged. “You were sleeping so peacefully.”

Jim shook his head in annoyance while talking into the radio. “Give me a status update, what’d I miss?”

The kitchen clock showed it was shortly after ten; a normal time for someone like Alex to wake up; an abnormally long time for someone like Jim to sleep.

“Zsasz demands to see you… alone.”

“What does he want?”

“Said he has information you wouldn’t want to miss.”

Jim sighed. “When and where?”

“Noon, at Sprang Bridge… or what’s left of it.”

“That’s all the way to the other side of town,” Jim said.

“Yea, I tried to tell you earlier. Alex wouldn’t wake you,”

Jim shot Alex another glare. “I’ll get going,” he said into the radio.

“When was the last time you got a good night of sleep?” Alex said, defensively putting her arms on her hips. “You looked like death warmed over last night! What did you expect me to do?” She followed him into her bedroom. He stepped into yesterday’s pants and buttoned them up. Alex put on a pair of jeans as well.

“Doesn’t matter… what are you doing?” He hesitated, watching her get dressed.

“Zsasz is that assassin guy, right? You can’t meet some assassin all by yourself! I’ll come with you!”

“No you won’t!” Jim decidedly said. “He said alone!”

“I’d like to see you try keeping me from going,” Alex snorted, pulling a semi clean shirt over her head, “and I bet he just meant police, not someone like me, a defenseless civilian.” She shot him her most innocent smile.

“It’s dangerous out there. You’re safest here, locked in,” Jim slowly said as if talking to a kid.

“I think I’m safest with you, no matter where.” She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Who did he think he was, trying to tell her what to do? That hadn’t worked four years ago and it wouldn’t work now.

“You’ll stay in the car,” Jim gave in.

“Can’t make any promises,” Alex truthfully said.

It was drizzling outside and she grabbed Phil’s leather jacket from the hook next to the entry door and put it on. His switchblade knife made for a reassuring weight in her right pocket.

Jim’s car, like most other police cars, had been fitted with metal grating to protect the windows. It stood out against the other, mostly abandoned vehicles on her street. Alex climbed onto the passenger seat once he unlocked and put on the seatbelt. She hadn’t sat in a car for ages. Gas was impossible to get for civilians so she had taken to walking wherever she needed to go. Not that she had many places to be these days…

The drive was slow. Debris and trash and manmade hurdles made it impossible to pass and they had to clear the road before they could pass. Well, Alex cleared the road while Jim stood watch, scanning the surroundings, gun out, safety off. “Aren’t you glad you allowed me to come?” Alex breathlessly said, pushing a three wheeled dumpster off the street. Something inside was moving. Alex made sure the lid stayed firmly shut. She did not want to find out what it was.

“Yea, thanks for helping, come on.” Jim courtly answered.

With a clatter, the dumpster crashed against the curb. Alex let go of it and hurried back to the relative safety of the car. Jim bent over to kiss her, before starting the engine again.

+++

The clock in Jim’s car showed 12:23 when they stopped at the bridge. Alex hadn’t been in this part of the city for months. Unsurprisingly, it was as fucked up as everywhere else.

Jim turned off the engine. “Stay here. Zsasz is dangerous,” he said, “if anything happens, there’s a gun in the glove compartment.”

Alex held eye contact while reaching for the door handle and getting out of the car, heedless of the gun.

Jim sighed deeply and got out as well. He looked ruffled this morning. Dusty clothes, hair hastily slicked back with water, unshaved. The dark circles under his eyes didn’t seem as deep as yesterday though. That was an improvement Alex liked to think was her doing.

A bald, black clad figure stood atop a heap of debris, a short distance away from them, hands clasped behind his back, looking out over the river. The rain had let off but the air was still damp and cold for the season.

“Jim! I was starting to worry you’d stood me up!” The black figure said, slowly turning towards them.

Alex’s heart skipped a beat. She knew the guy.

“And who did you bring, despite my asking you come alone? Jim, Jim, Jim, what AM I gonna do with you?” he waved a rebuking finger at them.

Alex wasn’t impressed by his antics. She stormed towards the bald figure, climbing up the heap of rubble he stood on.

“What are you doing?” Jim tried going after her, but his fancy leather shoes weren’t made for climbing wet heaps of concrete and rubble. Alex’s cheap sneakers were much better suited and she easily outpaced him, using hands and feet.

Victor watched her carefully, one eyebrow raised, holding on to his elbow with his other hand. Recognition lit up his features when Alex reached the top, brushing off her hands on her pants. He smiled a blindingly bright smile at her.

Alex didn’t return it. She strode towards him, careless of the uneven ground under her feet and only stopped when she stood straight in front of him. “You!” she accusingly said, poking her index finger against his chest.

“Me,” Victor repeated, a look of amusement on his face.

“You lied to me!” she said, poking him a few times more.

“I didn’t lie! I would never,” he said, dramatically pressing his hand to his heart, catching her still poking finger with his other. His skin was cold from standing by the water for so long.

Alex put her free hand on her hip and raised one eyebrow at him. The gesture didn’t feel very expressive one handed and the wind blowing her hair in her face made her feel even less threatening. “You fucking ghosted me!” she accused, despite herself.

“I honestly thought we were more of a one-time thing,” he said, brushing the wavy strands behind her ear. “I would have come back if I’d known you were into that though… that thing you did with your… thing… holy moly!” His eyes sparkled with laughter at the memory.

Jim had made it up the hill as well and he decidedly grabbed Alex by her shoulders, pulling her out of Victors reach and stepping between them. “What are you two talking about?”

“Good old times,” Victor shrugged. “You know, back when we all were young… Oh, wait a second! Are you two an item? Jeez, I’m sorry… I didn’t want to be too forward, but kudos to you, Jim! Caught yourself a good one there!” He pointed a long, skinny finger at Jim, grinning at Alex over his shoulder.

She stepped out from behind Jim and towards Victor again. “Can you leave? We’re meeting someone important here!”

“That’s him,” Jim said, irritation, tainting his voice. “Victor Zsasz.”

Alex stared at Jim, then at Victor. “WHAT? So those cuts on your arms… they really…“ she swallowed hard.

“Told you,” Victor shrugged.

Alex took a step back and breathed in deeply. “Shit, so you were telling the truth.”

Victor nodded. “I also lived in that apartment in your building… for about a month or so... I never lie if I can help it. Professional reputation and all.”

Alex took another step backwards. Her heart raced. He must have had over 70 tally marks on his arms… 70 people dead because of him. And she’d slept with him… next to him… felt save by his side… How naive had she been?

“Now don’t look at me like that! You enjoyed yourself, didn’t you? Don’t let that memory be tainted! I sure won’t” Victor said, looking around Jim.

“I… I’ll go wait in the car,” Alex slowly said, making her way down the hill, glancing back over her shoulder towards the two men every so often. Jim and Victor remained where they were. The spot Victor had chosen had a nice view but still gave him some cover should he need it. Jim had found himself a nicely covered spot as well, without thinking about it. Professionals, both of them.

Alex could claim no such thing as professionality; which was why, when a shot rang out and both men dropped down behind their respective cover, Alex took a moment longer. A neat hole exploded out of a piece of concrete right next to her. Alex stared at it. She wasn’t used to guns being fired around her. A second shot rang out and she went down as well, cowering behind a block of concrete, too late though. Something was wrong with her shoulder. Moving her arm hurt.

“Alex!” Jim shouted, remaining hidden, “Are you okay?”

“Yea… just hurt my shoulder going down…” she called back, almost managing to keep the fear out of her voice.

“Stay where you are,” Jim replied and then, with a somewhat lower voice, “You set me up!”

“I swear by my professional honor, I didn’t…” Victor said. “I’m as surprised as you are! And I hate it!”

Alex felt a little dizzy. There was something wet on her chest. Looking down on herself, she froze. “Umm… Jim?”

“What?”

“I’m bleeding…” Her mouth tasted of blood too. What the fuck. Had she bitten her tongue?

She heard someone come towards her but couldn’t tell which direction they were coming from. Her head felt a bit odd. Like her brain was driving through a tunnel or something.

Jim’s face appeared in her line of vision, bent low so as to avoid getting shot. She heard two more shots and tried moving her arms to cover her head. The right one didn’t quite work.

“Got them,” Victor said. Another shot rang out, closer this time. “All clear.” His voice was closer as well.

“Where are you hurt?” Jim said, carefully touching her shoulder to make her calm down.

Alex swallowed and looked up at him. Jim paled. Even on the dark leather, the blood was clearly visible. And there was a lot of it. Her jacket made a squishy noise when he pulled it away to better assess the damage. A big red stain had spread on her chest, just atop her right boob. The wound bubbled and wheezed each time she took a breath.

“Is it bad?” Alex whispered. Her chest hurt. A lot. And she felt like she couldn’t get enough air into her lungs.

Jim shook his head. “We’ll just have to get you to a doctor,” he muttered.

Victor’s bald head appeared in her field of vision, dark eyes widening when he saw her. “Shit.”

“Come on, I’ll carry you,” Jim said. Turning to Victor he handed him the keys to his car and ordered him to drive.

Walking was hard. Her legs didn’t seem to want to carry her. Tears were falling with no possibility to stop them and made it hard to see clearly. Between the two of them, the men managed to get the confused Alex into the back seat.

Her upper body was propped against Jim. He kept steady pressure on her chest. His face looked worried. A smudge of blood was on his cheek. Alex had realized by now that she’d been shot. She wasn’t that dumb. She was no expert on gunshot wounds, but if Victor’s reaction was any indication, it was bad. “Where are we going?” Alex said.

“To the hospital… they’ll fix you right up. Everything’s going to be fine,” Jim said. He sounded like he meant it.

“I… I don’t feel fine,” Alex admitted. Her voice didn’t quite work as she wanted it to. And she felt out of breath, despite laying still.

Victor said nothing. He drove like the devil, cutting turns, going over curbs, crashing right through all obstacles. It made for a bumpy ride. Good thing Jim was there to hold her tight.

“Don’t worry,” he said, carefully petting her head with his free hand. His fingers were bloody.

“I’m getting blood all over your suit.” Her voice came out as a whisper, her arms and legs felt weak. “Sorry I didn’t listen to you… I should have stayed home…”

“Don’t worry,” Jim repeated. He bent over her to kiss her forehead.

“Can you…” Alex cleared her throat. The irony taste of blood never left her mouth, “if I don’t make it…” she paused to catch her breath, “can you tell Phil I’m sorry I,” she coughed, spraying blood all over herself and over Jim, “sorry I ruined his jacket and I love him!” She was running out of time. She had to say what she needed to, before… “And tell Harvey I love him too and he was the best godfather I could ever have…” Her eyes closed. She felt incredibly tired.

“Shh… don’t exert yourself,” Jim said. “You can tell them all of that once you’re patched up.”

“And sorry, for…” she coughed again, ignoring his words, “sorry for kissing that guy and fucking us up… I loved you all those years… I just hadn’t realized. Fuck, it’s cold in here.” Her teeth chattered.

The car swerved as Victor shrugged out of his jacket and handed it to Jim who carefully draped it over her, making her comfortable.

“I love you too,” Jim whispered, petting her cheek with his thumb. “Don’t worry about the past, think about the future we’ll have together…” his voice broke and he couldn’t finish the sentence. They were almost at the hospital. Victor was a good driver.

“I…” Alex tried swallowing the blood that kept on filling her mouth. Tears filled her eyes and she closed them.

“Come on, step on it!” Jim barked at Victor. “She’s dying!”

The car sped up another notch. They were going dangerously fast, but Jim didn’t care. Alex’s breaths were getting shallower, her heart raced, trying to make up for the lost blood. A sense of peace settled over her. “I don’t think I’ll make it… I’m sorry…”

 

Jim’s POV – a few days later

It was one of the rare sunny days in Gotham, late afternoon, pleasantly warm. Alex would love…. would have loved this. They were standing around a makeshift raft Lucius Fox had built. On top of the raft was a pyre and on top of that was the dead body of the woman he loved.

Harvey stood to Jim’s right, rigid, straight. Silent tears wet his cheeks and lost themselves in his beard. Telling him about Alex had been awful. Jim had seen his friend’s heart break. It had broken a piece of him too.

To Harvey’s right, Phil wordlessly stared at the dead body of his best friend. He swayed slightly, possibly drunk or high or both.

On Jim’s other side were Bruce and Alfred. Bruce was bravely holding back tears, blinking every so often when things got too overwhelming. Alfred’s face was carefully empty. The pair had brought flowers from their garden. So many, they must have left their grounds bare. The pyre was surrounded by them, the raft covered almost to the edge. Their scent almost managed to drown out the stink of the river. The soft breeze wafting around them had blown some of the flowers into the water and they peacefully made their way downstream. Alex would have loved it. Jim’s chest squeezed tight with the thought.

Off a little way, Victor Zsasz silently stood, hands grasped before him. Zsasz had told Jim he’d make sure they weren’t disturbed. Whatever he’d had with Alex, he seemed fond of her and wanted to make sure everyone got to say their goodbyes.

Alex’s skin was ghastly white, despite the tan she’d acquired. She’d lost so much blood, there had been no saving her. Her hair, lighter than it had been years ago, bleached from the sun probably, but soft and shiny even in death, was spread under her head. It made for a stark contrast against her pale face. Phil had chosen a short blue dress for her to wear. It barely touched her knees. Probably not the most fitting for a funeral, but Phil claimed it was her favorite and if there was one time to wear her favorite clothes, it was now.

Someone, Jim had no idea who, had put one of the flowers behind her ear. He was too heartbroken to notice everything around him. It was a bad idea to let his guard down, but he couldn’t keep it up, not today. He didn’t have the strength. Despite himself, he trusted Zsasz to keep them save.

Harvey stepped forward and took Alex’s grasped hands. “I promised your father I’d take care of you.” His voice almost broke. “When you meet him up there, tell him I’m sorry I failed him.” He took a deep swig from his ever present flask before screwing it shut and putting it in her hands.

Without agreeing to it in advance, Phil stepped forward next. “Can you fucking tell me what I’m supposed to do now, without you?” he said, voice shaky. “I mean… how did I even survive before we met? Where does the toilet paper come from? And how does the stove work? And… who am I going to cry to about missing you? Fuck!” He wiped his eyes, not looking up. He’d been holding a grocery bag and with shaking hands pulled out a pint of ice cream. Wherever he’d gotten that from was beyond Jim. Carefully, he placed it in Alex’s hands as well. Turning around to step away from the raft, he stopped himself and turned back again. He bent over her and wrapped his arms around her cold body. “Fuck!” he cried. “I hate you for leaving me, just so you know… but I’ll hunt down whoever did this!”

Zsasz cleared his throat. “That’s already taken care of, amigo,” he said.

Phil seemed to remember he wasn’t alone and pulled himself up, hastily wiping both of his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. “Thanks,” he muttered, shooting Zsasz a nod. “I hope they died slow and painful.”

Alfred stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on Phil’s back. They’d become friends over the past years. “If you need anything mate, a warm meal, an open ear, someone to drown your sorrows with, just come by the mansion,” he said, giving Phil a quick hug, trying to give him some of his strength and composure. Phil nodded and stepped away, leaving Alfred to say his goodbyes.

Alfred caressed Alex’s cheek in a way that made Jim wonder if there had been more than friendship between them. He quickly abolished the thought. Even if there had been, it was none of his business. Slowly shaking his head, Alfred spoke in his measured British accent. “Taken so soon, in the prime of your life… damn this bloody city!”

Jim looked around, waiting if anyone else wanted to say anything to her. When no one stepped forward, he did. “We could have had so much more time together if it wasn’t for me…” he heard himself say. “I hope you can forgive me.” He bent over her and kissed her cold lips almost expecting her to sit up and tell them all she’d made a joke and laughing at them for crying their eyes out over her.

She didn’t.

Jim sighed and moved away from the raft. Lucius was coming towards them from the pier. He had never met Alex but had offered to help with her funeral nonetheless.

It took some effort to move the float onto the water over the gravelly ground. Everyone wanted to help, which probably made things harder than they had to be, but no one wanted to be the one to step back.

Only the very edge of the raft was still on land. Lucius had his foot on the raft to hold it in place, looked at Alex, then at the small crowd all around, silently asking if anyone wanted to say anything more.

No one stepped forward.

Lucius pulled out a blowtorch and held it to the very bottom of the pyre. It quickly caught on fire and he stepped backwards. Whatever Lucius had put in there, he had done a good job.

Jim joined him, pushing the raft to its last journey. The fire was hot on his face. It quickly grew and embraced Alex’s body. They gave the raft a good push and away went the love of his life. The one that had brought them all together. No one said anything. They silently looked after her, each standing close to the waters’ edge, watching the raft slowly glide downriver, into the sinking sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To the few people who read this, thank you for joining me on the journey. I was honestly crying when I wrote the last part of this chapter, I hope I made you cry too (because that's the kind of person I am :P)  
> I might post one or two more short stories in this collection, but that will be it... no more Alex. Sorry.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Reminisce](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19080790) by [murmeltearding](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding)




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